Category: Seven

Enneagram 7

Enneagram Type 7, 2, 9- Can you be too Positive

Posted on by DrToni

The Tyranny of Relentless Positivity

When we ignore difficult emotions, they end up controlling us. Here’s how embracing emotional agility allows us to deal with the world as it is.

We are caught up in a rigid culture that values relentless positivity over emotional agility, true resilience, and thriving, says Susan David, Ph.D., a Psychologist on the faculty of Harvard Medical School and author of the book Emotional Agility. And when we push aside difficult emotions in order to embrace false positivity, we lose our capacity to develop deep skills to help us deal with the world as it is, not as we wish it to be. In this TED Talk, Dr. David explores why tough emotions are essential for living a life of true meaning and, yes, even happiness.

Susan David, Ph.D.: “In South Africa, where I come from, “sawubona” is the Zulu word for “hello.” There’s a beautiful and powerful intention behind the word because “sawubona” literally translated means, “I see you, and by seeing you, I bring you into being.” So beautiful, imagine being greeted like that. But what does it take in the way we see ourselves? Our thoughts, our emotions and our stories that help us to thrive in an increasingly complex and fraught world?

This crucial question has been at the center of my life’s work. Because how we deal with our inner world drives everything. Every aspect of how we love, how we live, how we parent and how we lead. The conventional view of emotions as good or bad, positive or negative, is rigid. And rigidity in the face of complexity is toxic. We need greater levels of emotional agility for true resilience and thriving.

The conventional view of emotions as good or bad, positive or negative, is rigid. And rigidity in the face of complexity is toxic.

My journey with this calling began not in the hallowed halls of a university, but in the messy, tender business of life. I grew up in the white suburbs of apartheid South Africa, a country and community committed to not seeing. To denial. It’s denial that makes 50 years of racist legislation possible while people convince themselves that they are doing nothing wrong. And yet, I first learned of the destructive power of denial at a personal level, before I understood what it was doing to the country of my birth.

My father died on a Friday. He was 42 years old and I was 15. My mother whispered to me to go and say goodbye to my father before I went to school. So I put my backpack down and walked the passage that ran through to where the heart of our home my father lay dying of cancer. His eyes were closed, but he knew I was there. In his presence, I had always felt seen. I told him I loved him, said goodbye and headed off for my day. At school, I drifted from science to mathematics to history to biology, as my father slipped from the world. From May to July to September to November, I went about with my usual smile. I didn’t drop a single grade. When asked how I was doing, I would shrug and say, “OK.” I was praised for being strong. I was the master of being OK.

But back home, we struggled—my father hadn’t been able to keep his small business going during his illness. And my mother, alone, was grieving the love of her life trying to raise three children, and the creditors were knocking. We felt, as a family, financially and emotionally ravaged. And I began to spiral down, isolated, fast. I started to use food to numb my pain. Binging and purging. Refusing to accept the full weight of my grief. No one knew, and in a culture that values relentless positivity, I thought that no one wanted to know.

Moving Beyond Emotional Rigidity

But one person did not buy into my story of triumph over grief. My eighth-grade English teacher fixed me with burning blue eyes as she handed out blank notebooks. She said, “Write what you’re feeling. Tell the truth. Write like nobody’s reading.” And just like that, I was invited to show up authentically to my grief and pain. It was a simple act but nothing short of a revolution for me. It was this revolution that started in this blank notebook 30 years ago that shaped my life’s work. The secret, silent correspondence with myself. Like a gymnast, I started to move beyond the rigidity of denial into what I’ve now come to call emotional agility.

Life’s beauty is inseparable from its fragility: We are young until we are not. We walk down the streets sexy until one day we realize that we are unseen. We nag our children and one day realize that there is silence where that child once was, now making his or her way in the world. We are healthy until a diagnosis brings us to our knees. The only certainty is uncertainty, and yet we are not navigating this frailty successfully or sustainably. The World Health Organization tells us that depression is now the single leading cause of disability globally—outstripping cancer, outstripping heart disease. And at a time of greater complexity, unprecedented technological, political and economic change, we are seeing how people’s tendency is more and more to lock down into rigid responses to their emotions.

On the one hand, we might obsessively brood on our feelings, getting stuck inside our heads, hooked on being right, or victimized by our news feed. On the other, we might bottle our emotions, pushing them aside and permitting only those emotions deemed legitimate.

In a survey I recently conducted with over 70,000 people, I found that a third of us—a third—either judge ourselves for having so-called “bad emotions,” like sadness, anger or even grief. Or actively try to push aside these feelings. We do this not only to ourselves, but also to people we love, like our children—we may inadvertently shame them out of emotions seen as negative, jump to a solution, and fail to help them to see these emotions as inherently valuable.

The Tyranny of Relentless Positivity

Normal, natural emotions are now seen as good or bad. And being positive has become a new form of moral correctness. People with cancer are automatically told to just stay positive. Women, to stop being so angry. And the list goes on. It’s a tyranny. It’s a tyranny of positivity. And it’s cruel. Unkind. And ineffective. And we do it to ourselves, and we do it to others.

If there’s one common feature of brooding, bottling, or false positivity, it’s this: they are all rigid responses. And if there’s a single lesson we can learn from the inevitable fall of apartheid, it is that rigid denial doesn’t work. It’s unsustainable.For individuals, for families, for societies.And as we watch the ice caps melt, it is unsustainable for our planet.

But when we push aside normal emotions to embrace false positivity, we lose our capacity to develop skills to deal with the world as it is, not as we wish it to be.

Research on emotional suppression shows that when emotions are pushed aside or ignored, they get stronger. Psychologists call this amplification. Like that delicious chocolate cake in the refrigerator, the more you try to ignore it, the greater its hold on you. You might think you’re in control of unwanted emotions when you ignore them, but in fact, they control you. Internal pain always comes out. Always. And who pays the price? We do. Our children, our colleagues, our communities.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not anti-happiness. I like being happy. I’m a pretty happy person. But when we push aside normal emotions to embrace false positivity, we lose our capacity to develop skills to deal with the world as it is, not as we wish it to be. I’ve had hundreds of people tell me what they don’t want to feel. They say things like, “I don’t want to try because I don’t want to feel disappointed.” Or, “I just want this feeling to go away.”

“I understand,” I say to them. “But you have dead people’s goals.” Only dead people never get unwanted or inconvenienced by their feelings.

Only dead people never get stressed, never get broken hearts, never experience the disappointment that comes with failure. Tough emotions are part of our contract with life. You don’t get to have a meaningful career or raise a family or leave the world a better place without stress and discomfort. Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.

So, how do we begin to dismantle rigidity and embrace emotional agility? As that young schoolgirl, when I leaned into those blank pages, I started to do away with feelings of what I should be experiencing. And instead started to open my heart to what I did feel. Pain. And grief. And loss. And regret.

How to Embrace Emotional Agility

Research now shows that the radical acceptance of all of our emotions—even the messy, difficult ones—is the cornerstone to resilience, thriving, and true, authentic happiness. But emotional agility is more than just an acceptance of emotions, we also know that accuracy matters. In my own research, I found that words are essential. We often use quick and easy labels to describe our feelings. “I’m stressed” is the most common one I hear. But there’s a world of difference between stress and disappointment or stress and that knowing-dread of “I’m in the wrong career.” When we label our emotions accurately, we are more able to discern the precise cause of our feelings. And what scientists call the “readiness potential” in our brain is activated, allowing us to take concrete steps. But not just any steps, the right steps for us. Because our emotions are data. Our emotions contain flashing lights to things that we care about.

We tend not to feel strong emotion to stuff that doesn’t mean anything in our worlds. If you feel rage when you read the news, that rage is a signpost, perhaps, that you value equity and fairness—and an opportunity to take active steps to shape your life in that direction. When we are open to the difficult emotions, we are able to generate responses that are values-aligned.

But there’s an important caveat. Emotions are data, they are not directives. We can show up to and mine our emotions for their values without needing to listen to them. Just like I can show up to my son in his frustration with his baby, but not endorse his idea that he gets to give her away to the first stranger he sees in a shopping mall.

We own our emotions, they don’t own us. When we internalize the difference between how I feel in all my wisdom, and what I do in a values-aligned action, we generate the pathway to our best selves via our emotions. So, what does this look like in practice?

  1. When you feel a strong, tough emotion, don’t race for the emotional exits. Learn its contours, show up to the journal of your hearts.
  2. What is the emotion telling you? And try not to say “I am,” as in, “I’m angry” or “I’m sad.” When you say “I am” it makes you sound as if you are the emotion. Whereas you are you, and the emotion is a data source. Instead, try to notice the feeling for what it is: “I’m noticing that I’m feeling sad” or “I’m noticing that I’m feeling angry.”

These are essential skills for us, our families, our communities. They’re also critical to the workplace.

In my research, when I looked at what helps people to bring the best of themselves to work, I found a powerful key contributor: individualized consideration. When people are allowed to feel their emotional truth, engagement, creativity, and innovation flourish in the organization. Diversity isn’t just people, it’s also what’s inside people, including diversity of emotion. The most agile, resilient individuals, teams, organizations, families, communities are built on an openness to the normal human emotions. It’s this that allows us to say, “What is my emotion telling me?” “Which action will bring me towards my values?” “Which will take me away from my values?” Emotional agility is the ability to be with your emotions with curiosity, compassion, and especially the courage to take values-connected steps.

Emotional agility is the ability to be with your emotions with curiosity, compassion, and especially the courage to take values-connected steps.

When I was little, I would wake up at night terrified by the idea of death. My father would comfort me with soft pats and kisses. But he would never lie. “We all die, Susie,” he would say.”It’s normal to be scared.” He didn’t try to invent a buffer between me and reality. It took me a while to understand the power of how he guided me through those nights. What he showed me is that courage is not an absence of fear; courage is fear walking. Neither of us knew that in 10 short years, he would be gone. And that time for each of us is all too precious and all too brief. But when our moment comes to face our fragility, in that ultimate time, it will ask us, “Are you agile?” “Are you agile?” Let the moment be an unreserved “yes.” A “yes” born of a lifelong correspondence with your own heart. And in seeing yourself. Because in seeing yourself, you are also able to see others, too: the only sustainable way forward in a fragile, beautiful world. Sawubona.”

Don Riso Enneagram Point 7

Posted on by DrToni

7
THE ENTHUSIAST
Enneagram Type Seven

The Busy, Variety-Seeking Type:
Spontaneous, Versatile, Acquisitive, and Scattered

Type Seven in Brief

Sevens are extroverted, optimistic, versatile, and spontaneous. Playful, high-spirited, and practical, they can also misapply their many talents, becoming over-extended, scattered, and undisciplined. They constantly seek new and exciting experiences, but can become distracted and exhausted by staying on the go. They typically have problems with impatience and impulsiveness. At their Best: they focus their talents on worthwhile goals, becoming appreciative, joyous, and satisfied.

  • Basic Fear: Of being deprived and in pain
  • Basic Desire: To be satisfied and content—to have their needs fulfilled
  • Enneagram Seven with a Six-Wing: “The Entertainer”
  • Enneagram Seven with an Eight-Wing: “The Realist”

Key Motivations: Want to maintain their freedom and happiness, to avoid missing out on worthwhile experiences, to keep themselves excited and occupied, to avoid and discharge pain.

The Meaning of the Arrows (in brief)

When moving in their Direction of Disintegration (stress), scattered Sevens suddenly become perfectionistic and critical at One. However, when moving in their Direction of Integration (growth), gluttonous, scattered Sevens become more focused and fascinated by life, like healthy Fives. Learn more about the arrows.

Examples: The 14th Dalai Lama, Galileo Galilei, W.A. Mozart, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, Amelia Earhart, Richard Feynman, Wassily Kandinsky, Ram Dass, Timothy Leary, Noel Coward, John F. Kennedy, Joe Biden, Sarah Palin, Silvio Berlusconi, Malcolm Forbes, Richard Branson, Ted Turner, Suze Orman, Leonard Bernstein, Chuck Berry, Elton John, Mick Jagger, Fergie, Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears, Katy Perry, Russell Brand, Sacha Baron Cohen, Federico Fellini, Steven Spielberg, Fred Astaire, Cary Grant, John Belushi, Joan Rivers, Bette Midler, Goldie Hawn, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Robin Williams, Jim Carrey, Mike Meyers, Bruce Willis, Robert Downey, Jr., James Franco, Leonardo DiCaprio, Charlie Sheen, Cameron Diaz, Paris Hilton, David Duchovny, Larry King, Howard Stern, Simon Cowell, “Auntie Mame”

Type Seven Overview

We have named this personality type The Enthusiast because Sevens are enthusiastic about almost everything that catches their attention. They approach life with curiosity, optimism, and a sense of adventure, like “kids in a candy store” who look at the world in wide-eyed, rapt anticipation of all the good things they are about to experience. They are bold and vivacious, pursuing what they want in life with a cheerful determination. They have a quality best described by the Yiddish word “chutzpah”—a kind of brash “nerviness.”

Although Sevens are in the Thinking Center, this is not immediately apparent because they tend to be extremely practical and engaged in a multitude of projects at any given time. Their thinking is anticipatory: they foresee events and generate ideas “on the fly,” favoring activities that stimulate their minds—which in turn generate more things to do and think about. Sevens are not necessarily intellectual or studious by any standard definition, although they are often intelligent and can be widely read and highly verbal. Their minds move rapidly from one idea to the next, making Sevens gifted at brainstorming and synthesizing information. Sevens are exhilarated by the rush of ideas and by the pleasure of being spontaneous, preferring broad overviews and the excitement of the initial stages of the creative process to probing a single topic in depth.

Devon, a successful business woman, shares with us some of the inner workings of her Seven mindset.

“I am definitely a list person. It’s not really for memory since I have a great memory. It’s more for down-loading information so that my mind won’t spin on it. For example, I was at a concert where the tickets were hard to get and very expensive. I couldn’t sit through it. My mind was torturing me with the things I needed to do. Finally, I had to get up and leave. This was very upsetting to the person I went with and I missed a good show.”

Sevens are frequently endowed with quick, agile minds, and can be exceptionally fast learners. This is true both of their ability to absorb information (language, facts, and procedures) and their ability to learn new manual skills—they tend to have excellent mind-body coordination, and manual dexterity (typewriting, piano playing, tennis). All of this can combine to make a Seven into the quintessential “Renaissance person.”

Ironically, Sevens’ wide-ranging curiosity and ability to learn quickly can also create problems for them. Because they are able to pick up many different skills with relative ease, it becomes more difficult for them to decide what to do with themselves. As a result, they also do not always value their abilities as they would if they had to struggle to gain them. When Sevens are more balanced however, their versatility, curiosity, and ability to learn can lead them to extraordinary achievement.

The root of their problem is common to all of the types of the Thinking Center: they are out of touch with the inner guidance and support of their Essential nature. As with Fives and Sixes, this creates a deep anxiety in Sevens. They do not feel that they know what to do or how to make choices that will be beneficial to themselves and others. Sevens cope with this anxiety in two ways. First, they try to keep their minds busy all of the time. As long as Sevens can keep their minds occupied, especially with projects and positive ideas for the future, they can, to some extent, keep anxiety and negative feelings out of conscious awareness. Likewise, since their thinking is stimulated by activity, Sevens are compelled to stay on the go, moving from one experience to the next, searching for more stimulation. This is not to say that Sevens are “spinning their wheels.” They generally enjoy being practical and getting things done.

Frances, a successful business consultant, sounds more energetic than is humanly possible—and yet, she is a typical Seven:

“I am highly, highly productive. At the office, I am joyful and my mind is running at its best. I might create several marketing campaigns for a client, work on the outline for an upcoming seminar, talk out a difficult problem with a client on the telephone, close two deals, make a project list, dictate a few letters and look up to see that it’s 9:30 a.m. and my assistant is coming in to start our work for the day.”

Second, Sevens cope with the loss of Essential guidance by using the “trial and error” method: they try everything to make sure they know what is best. On a very deep level, Sevens do not feel that they can find what they really want in life. They therefore tend to try everything—and ultimately may even resort to anything as a substitute for what they are really looking for. (“If I can’t have what will really satisfy me, I’ll enjoy myself anyway. I’ll have all kinds of experiences—that way I will not feel bad about not getting what I really want.”)

We can see this in action even in the most trivial areas of their daily lives. Unable to decide whether he wants vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry ice cream, a Seven will want all three flavors—just to be sure that he does not miss out on the “right” choice. Having two weeks for a vacation and a desire to visit Europe brings a similar quandary. Which countries and cities to visit? Which sites to see? The Seven’s way of dealing with this will be to cram as many different countries, cities, and attractions into his vacation as possible. While they are scrambling after exciting experiences, the real object of their heart’s desire (their personal Rosebud, as it were) may be so deeply buried in their unconscious that they are never really aware of precisely what it is.

Furthermore, as Sevens speed up their pursuit of whatever seems to offer freedom and satisfaction, they tend to make worse choices, and they are less able to be satisfied because everything is experienced indirectly, through the dense filter of their fast-paced mental activity. The result is that Sevens end up anxious, frustrated, and enraged, with fewer resources available to them physically, emotionally, or financially. They may end up ruining their health, their relationships, and their finances in their search for happiness.

Gertrude is busy establishing her career and family now, but she looks back at how this tendency contributed to her getting a rough start in life.

“There wasn’t anything to do at home or in the tiny Southern town I grew up in. I was dying to get out of it and go someplace more exciting. When I was 16, I started dating, and before long I got pregnant, but the father didn’t want to marry me—which was okay since I didn’t want to marry him, either. It wasn’t too long before I found somebody else, and we got married, and I got to move to a larger city. But it didn’t really work out the way I wanted because after I had the baby, we broke up and I had to move back home. I stayed there for a year or two to get my feet on the ground. When things were looking bleak, I married someone else. I’m 19 now and I guess I’ve done a lot already.”

On the positive side, however, Sevens are extremely optimistic people—exuberant and upbeat. They are endowed with abundant vitality and a desire to fully participate in their lives each day. They are naturally cheerful and good humored, not taking themselves too seriously, or anything else for that matter. As we have seen, the Basic Desire of Sevens is to be satisfied, happy, and fulfilled, and when they are balanced within themselves, their joy and enthusiasm for life naturally affect everyone around them. They remind us of the pure pleasure of existence—the greatest gift of all.

(from The Wisdom of the Enneagram, p. 262-264)

Type Seven—Levels of Development

Healthy Levels

Level 1 (At Their Best): Assimilate experiences in depth, making them deeply grateful and appreciative for what they have. Become awed by the simple wonders of life: joyous and ecstatic. Intimations of spiritual reality, of the boundless goodness of life.

Level 2: Highly responsive, excitable, enthusiastic about sensation and experience. Most extroverted type: stimuli bring immediate responses—they find everything invigorating. Lively, vivacious, eager, spontaneous, resilient, cheerful.

Level 3: Easily become accomplished achievers, generalists who do many different things well: multi-talented. Practical, productive, usually prolific, cross-fertilizing areas of interest.

Average Levels

Level 4: As restlessness increases, want to have more options and choices available to them. Become adventurous and “worldly wise,” but less focused, constantly seeking new things and experiences: the sophisticate, connoisseur, and consumer. Money, variety, keeping up with the latest trends important.

Level 5: Unable to discriminate what they really need, become hyperactive, unable to say “no” to themselves, throwing self into constant activity. Uninhibited, doing and saying whatever comes to mind: storytelling, flamboyant exaggerations, witty wise-cracking, performing. Fear being bored: in perpetual motion, but do too many things—many ideas but little follow through.

Level 6: Get into conspicuous consumption and all forms of excess. Self-centered, materialistic, and greedy, never feeling that they have enough. Demanding and pushy, yet unsatisfied and jaded. Addictive, hardened, and insensitive.

Unhealthy Levels

Level 7: Desperate to quell their anxieties, can be impulsive and infantile: do not know when to stop. Addictions and excess take their toll: debauched, depraved, dissipated escapists, offensive and abusive.

Level 8: In flight from self, acting out impulses rather than dealing with anxiety or frustrations: go out of control, into erratic mood swings, and compulsive actions (manias).

Level 9: Finally, their energy and health is completely spent: become claustrophobic and panic-stricken. Often give up on themselves and life: deep depression and despair, self-destructive overdoses, impulsive suicide. Generally corresponds to the Bipolar disorder and Histrionic personality disorder.

Compatibility with Other Types

Type 7 in relationship with type:

1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9

Misidentification with Other Types

Type 7 compared with type:

1     2     3     4     5     6     8     9

Addictions

The type most prone to addictions: stimulants (caffeine, cocaine, and amphetamines), Ecstasy, psychotropics, narcotics, and alcohol but tend to avoid other depressants. Wear body out with effort to stay “up.” Excessive cosmetic surgery, pain killers.

Personal Growth Recommendations
for Enneagram Type Sevens

  • Recognize your impulsiveness, and get in the habit of observing your impulses rather than giving in to them. This means letting most of your impulses pass and becoming a better judge of which ones are worth acting on. The more you can resist acting out your impulses, the more you will be able to focus on what is really good for you.
  • Learn to listen to other people. They are often interesting, and you may learn things that will open new doors for you. Also learn to appreciate silence and solitude: you do not have to distract yourself (and protect yourself from anxiety) with constant noise from the television or the stereo. By learning to live with less external stimulation, you will learn to trust yourself. You will be happier than you expect because you will be satisfied with whatever you do, even if it is less than you have been doing.
  • You do not have to have everything this very moment. That tempting new acquisition will most likely still be available tomorrow (this is certainly true of food, alcohol, and other common gratifications—that ice cream cone, for instance). Most good opportunities will come back again—and you will be in a better position to discern which opportunities really are best for you.
  • Always choose quality over quantity, especially in your experiences. The ability to have experiences of quality can be learned only by giving your full attention to the experience you are having now. If you keep anticipating future experiences, you will keep missing the present one and undermine the possibility of ever being satisfied.
  • Make sure that what you want will really be good for you in the long run. As the saying goes, watch what you pray for since your prayers may be answered. In the same vein, think about the long-term consequences of what you want since you may get it only to find that it becomes another disappointment—or even a source of unhappiness.

Reflections from an Enneagram Seven

Posted on by DrToni

 Learning to Face Pain

Several years ago my wife Jessica and I moved our family of four into a new apartment. At first it seemed like a fine place, but upon closer inspection (which wasn’t an option until we moved in), we realized that it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. The dishwasher was broken. A couple windows were calked shut. The toilet wouldn’t stop running.

Worst of all was the carpet. It was, in a word, disgusting. The previous owners had owned a cat they never told us about, and had a propensity to never ever clean up after said cat. Jessica (who is a Perfectionist ONE—remember them?) was repulsed, and for good reason. The place had started to stink. When we stepped on certain sections of the carpet, clouds of dirt would puff up. The bottom of our kids’ feet, after walking around the place for several minutes, had turned black. To top it all off, we’d signed a lease accepting the place as it was, and we had no money for new carpet.

“What are we going to do?” asked Jessica, holding back tears of frustration.

And then I uttered the phrase that would haunt me for years.

I looked my distraught wife in the eyes, shrugged, and said, “Just don’t look down.”

Yes, I’m a SEVEN on the Enneagram, through and through.

Life Is Wonderful as a Seven, Even When It’s Not

We Sevens love life—we are cheerful, enthusiastic, and positive. Our nickname is “the Enthusiast,” and it fits our idealism, passion, and fun-loving nature perfectly. When you encounter a Seven you feel better about life because our humor, self-deprecation, and winsomeness are infectious. Think Amadeus Mozart, Walt Disney, Jennifer Lawrence: all likely Sevens.

Kids love an adult who is a Seven; they gather around us at parties because we ask great questions (we love the fact that our curiosity makes people feel great about themselves). Our most basic desires are to be satisfied, content, and happy, so our mission is to make sure other people feel those ways too. It’s wonderful to be with a Seven, and it’s wonderful to be a Seven.

The fact that life is not always wonderful is where things get complicated.

Dancing Through Life, No Matter the Cost

The realities of our cruel world, strained relationships, and personal brokenness (not to mention disgusting carpets in apartments we are stuck in) do not jive with a Seven’s desire for happiness and peace. Because of that, we are driven to avoid these things at all costs. This means Sevens try to fix things as quickly as possible, even if that means applying a Band-Aid instead of really addressing the wound. We gloss over difficult situations, skimming over the surface of hurt in order to keep from sinking into the painful realities around us. And we can always find the silver lining, no matter how thin. The glass is always half full, even when it’s three-quarters empty. “It gets better” is our rallying cry.

And if all else fails, “Just don’t look down.”

Because the world is full of pain and we hate pain, Sevens will seek out pleasure and are thus also prone to addictive behaviors. Alcoholism, drugs, addictions to food and sex—we are well versed in all the vices. Our Seven-ness works against us as people confront us with our addictions and we respond with obtuse surprise, cheery denial, and assurances that we are working on it, no problem, everything will be fine soon. Oh, we’re good at this.

Hope and Healing for a Seven

While a broken and unhealthy Seven (not unlike any other broken person on the Enneagram) not only damages themselves but also the people around them, a redeemed Seven is a sight to behold. They know how to channel the energy they’d normally put into being happy into bringing joy instead. Instead of living in a constant state of FOMO, they know how to be content in any circumstance and invite others to do the same. They have eschewed addictions and embraced living life to the fullest and deepest. And they have learned to live in a state of authentic gratefulness for every good thing in their lives.

If you are a Seven and are wondering how to get to the place where you are bringing health to yourself and others from the deepest parts of you, let me suggest two things.

​1. Fast

A Seven desires to get: get comfortable, get attention, get full, get happy. One antidote to this is to make purposeful strides to give things up. The most effective way I’ve found to heal me from my broken Seven tendencies is to fast.

This has mostly looked like fasting from food, as the Bible, and Jesus himself, instructs. When I purposefully give up my most basic need for a meal, a day, or even several days in a row, my addiction to serving myself is interrupted. In fact, each time I fast, that addiction to self begins to dissipate altogether.

In recent years I have gotten creative in my fasting to further break my addiction to self-serving comfort. I have gone on months-long breaks from media, social or otherwise. I’ve fasted from spending money on anything but basic needs. And last year I took two days off of work and blindfolded myself for the entire time in order to fully submit myself to God and see only what he wanted me to see. It was the longest 48 hours of my life, but as I gave up even the most basic of comforts, I gained insights into my life I never would have in my normal routine of living as easy as possible.

2. Look Down

Jessica’s response to me when I told her to “just don’t look down” changed me forever (no joke—when I tell people about the most life-changing moments of my life, this one is always on the list). She looked right back at me and said, “Maybe you can live your life like that, but I can’t. I look down.”

Sevens need to look down too. Living in denial of pain and brokenness might help us feel better for a short while and meet our need for comfort and happiness temporarily. But it’s just not real. Entering into the pain is actually a way for Sevens to achieve great joy, as we have the opportunity to join in the work of making our world a better place (or, in my case, calling the landlord and working out a way to pay a bit more rent in exchange for new carpet). Our deepest desires for true comfort, harmony, and satisfaction can only be satisfied if we get to those places through the pain instead of around it.

A healthy Seven is an amazing force for good. But we have to get serious about entering into the real world, having real conversations, and pursuing real joy.

Steven Grahmann

Steven Grahmann is the Area Director for InterVarsity Christian Fellowship in Arizona and has been on staff since 2000. He lives in Flagstaff with his wife, Jessica, and two boys.

Type Seven

Posted on by DrToni

Personality Style SEVEN: The Joyful Person

Core Value Tendency: SEVENS are attracted to and value joy, variety, and excitement. They desire to be happy persons, seeking to make the world a more delightful place to live in. SEVENS want to taste and experience all the possibilities life has to offer. Having fun and being positive is what life is all about.

Adaptive Cognitive Schema: The objective vision that keeps SEVENS aligned with their true nature and with reality is the realization that reality exists only in the here and now and reality unfolds through action and work in the present. Perspiration is as important as inspiration. Living in accordance with what is, with the objective plan of the universe is more satisfying than living out of one’s own unrealistic plans and fantasies.

Adaptive Emotional Schema: The condition that accompanies the SEVENS’ objective paradigm is sobriety, which involves a sense of proportion. Sobriety means living a balanced life in the present moment. The sober person takes in only as much as is needed and expends only as much energy as is called for. Fulfillment comes from living a temperate reasonable life-style. Happiness is the result of living and working in the present.

Adaptive Behavioral Schemas: Persistent work in the present and bringing projects to completion are behaviors that flow from responsible action and the virtue of sobriety. Work and play become indistinguishable when you do what you love and love what you’re doing. SEVENS have a great appreciation for life and want to celebrate and enjoy it. Able to find some good in everything, they have a childlike responsiveness to the world. Optimistic, vivacious, creative, and full of interesting ideas, they have an intuition for future possibilities and are great visionaries. They have a sense for what might go right, what will be a happy outcome.

Maladaptive Cognitive Schema: When SEVENS exaggerate their joyful qualities, they over-identify with the idealized self image of I am O.K. To compensate for a maladaptive belief that their options are limited and they are on the verge of being bored or depressed, they overindulge the pleasure principle, seeking to maximize enjoyment and minimize pain. They dislike having their options limited by the reality principle that says they must accommodate to what is and occasionally do what they have to do vs only doing what they want to do. They become compulsively optimistic, seeing the world through rose-colored glasses. They become addicted to highs and only want to have good experiences. By staying up, SEVENS try to avoid every feeling down.

Maladaptive Emotional Schema: By believing they must stay above and ahead of pain, SEVENS experience the passion of gluttony, if a little pleasure is good, more enjoyment is better. SEVENS develop a hedonistic approach to life seeking to spice up their life by having ever more interesting and exciting experiences. They opt for a fun-filled if not a fulfilled life.

Maladaptive Behavioral Schema: Perceiving the world as their oyster and fostering a glutinous life style, SEVENS are driven to make things more exciting and fun. They overindulge their imaginations, coming up with fantastic schemes and plans. They keep proposing new options and possibilities. They find it difficult to stay with one project or relationship for a long period of time. They may flit from one interest to another, filling their lives with fluff.

What is Avoided: Because they are trying hard to be happy, SEVENS avoid experiencing or expressing any pain or suffering. When something or someone ceases to be fun, SEVENS may drop them and move on to more novel adventures. They get nervous when they only have one thing to attend to or only have one option available. They don’t believe any good can come from quiet and darkness and instead seek distractions and light, whether it be light-hearted or light-headed. They avoid getting too heavy or serious.

Defensive Maneuvers: SEVENS avoid suffering and pain through sublimation. They program their computers for pleasant experiences and nothing computes or reaches them that’s not nice. They look for the silver lining in dark clouds and make sure everything comes up roses. Like alchemists, SEVENS turn dross materials and drab circumstances into precious experiences and happenings. Even death becomes an interesting trip.

Childhood Development: SEVENS learned that a little sugar helps the medicine go down and honey gets you what you need faster than lemon can. A cheerful pleasant disposition pleased their parents and got them approval. Entertaining others and being the life of the party brought its social rewards. SEVENS may not have experienced much pain or humiliation in their childhood, or if they did, they laughed at their hurt instead of being brought down by it. They found that people were more interested in their stories than in their pain so they became master storytellers.

Non-Resourceful State: When SEVENS are under stress, they may intellectualize, spiritualize, sublimate, and plan more to avoid confronting painful situations. They get further into fantasy and farther from doing. They may try to avoid work more, distract themselves, and attempt to lighten things up. If all of the above don’t work, they may get resentful, critical, and disappointed that reality is raining on their parade and their fantastic expectations aren’t being met.

Resourceful State: When SEVENS are in a resourceful relaxed state, they channel their energies and stay focused vs scattering and getting distracted. They say to themselves: “I am wise and perceptive” instead of I’m a lightweight. They put their creative bursts and inspirations into a system and structure. They stay with a project or interest, going deeply into it, until they really understand and savor the experience instead of being a dilettante. Now able to be still and observant, they appreciate silence and solitude. Practicing detachment and sobriety, they stay in the present taking in only as much as they need and expending only as much energy as the situation requires. I am therefore I delight replaces I have to be up to be accepted.

Report for a 7

Posted on by DrToni

Your Type in Depth

Your primary type is Seven. In this section, we’ll dive deep into the Seven profile to understand how it drives your core emotions, fears, and desires, as well as how it impacts you in relationships and at work.

In a Nutshell

Sevens are defined by their desire to experience everything good and pleasurable that the world has to offer, while avoiding pain, boredom, and limitations. Although Sevens appear enthusiastic and fun-loving, deep down, they have a fear of getting stuck in negative emotions. Thus, they tend to disconnect from their deeper feelings, instead focusing on their imagination and zest for life to keep them moving forward and gathering new, pleasurable experiences.

Sevens aim to fill every minute with an activity. They approach life as an endless rollercoaster of fun, joyous experiences—and if not fun, at least not sad, bored, anxious, depressed or painful. Sevens use their charm, enthusiasm, imagination, and positive attitude to get as much enjoyment as possible out of every moment of life. Ideally, a Seven aspires to ride a continuous high, avoiding the drearier aspects of reality.

At their core, Sevens ultimately seek deep inner satisfaction, to live a truly meaningful and satisfying life. However, they can sometimes become confused about what it means to get the most out of life, becoming distracted by momentary pleasures rather than pursuing the truly meaningful. Sevens often get caught up in trying every option they have available, becoming frustrated when they run into limitations that stop them from exploring a potential path. Unless a Seven has developed a level of comfort with boredom and even pain, they will have a tendency to consume experiences without being satisfied by them.

Strengths

  • Enthusiasm for life
  • Optimism and positive thinking
  • Ability to imagine possibilities and brainstorm many ideas
  • Adventurous, playful, and spontaneous
  • Future-oriented and able to generate excitement about possibilities

Challenges

  • Struggle to focus and avoid distractions
  • Find it difficult to deal with limits and constraints
  • More easily sees what is imagined, rather than reality
  • Fears commitment and the boredom that may come with it
  • Has trouble staying in the present moment

Core Weakness

Gluttony: insatiable hunger for stimulating experiences of any kind.

Sevens are driven by the belief that they will feel satisfied when they have experienced all life has to offer. Instead of deeply digesting an experience, Sevens crave little bites of as many pleasurable experiences as possible, whether that’s food, conversation, travel or learning. Gluttony arises when they crave more and more but taste less and less, not realizing that chasing constant pleasure keeps them from deeper satisfaction.

Core Belief

“I can imagine a better reality.”

Core Fear

Being deprived, limited, or bored. Missing out on what life has to offer, and thus wasting they time they have on Earth.

Sevens move away from fear, anxiety, sadness and worry, instead moving towards whatever feels good. They would not describe themselves as fearful people, mostly because they are so good at disconnecting from any sort of fear or pain. Sevens are so focused on pursuing what they think will make them happy, they don’t stop to reflect on what they are fleeing from.

Core Desire

To feel deeply fulfilled with the life they are living. To be living joyfully in every present moment. To be satisfied and content.

Core Traits

Optimism. Sevens like to keep things positive and upbeat. Given their ability to imagine a better world, they easily pick up on the positive aspects of any situation. They are quick to find the silver linings in any situation. This is a great motivational tool but does allow a Seven to deny the existence or influence of any negative information, which can derail a project or relationship.

Need for Speed. Sevens are busy bees—walking fast, talking fast, and thinking fast. Physically they can be hard to keep up with, as they sandwich as much as possible into their schedule and any down time is quickly filled with an activity. Mentally, their mind is constantly at play, constantly distracted by shiny objects. In their need to stay busy, they can find it hard to focus on a particular goal. They may overlook important details and produce inconsisten results.

Future Focus. Sevens spend a lot of time thinking about the future. They anticipate what’s coming next and want to figure out how to make everything as fun as possible. They are excited by brainstorming, creative planning, creating visions for the future, and kickstarting projects. Sevens spend so much time looking forward, they often get stuck in a ‘grass is greener’ mentality, forgetting that real happiness can only be experienced in the here and now.

Resistance to Limits. Sevens need to feel free to indulge their imagination, creativity and enthusiasm whenever it strikes, and will seek a life that allows them to do so. They avoid having limits and constraints at all costs. Sevens see potential blockers everywhere: in people, processes, institutions, and society. They question authority figures, rules, and regulations that limit them, and will choose careers and relationships that provide them with more choices rather than less.

Paradoxically, this obsession with unlimited freedom can actually result in Sevens having very little actual freedom; by refusing to commit to anything, Sevens may sabotage their personal power and limit their ability to achieve their goals. For true freedom, the Seven must learn to choose commitments carefully and strategically, so that they create more options for themselves in the long run.

Emotional Life

Sevens seek to disconnect from their emotions. While they have emotions just like everyone else, Sevens don’t see the value in actually feeling them—they would rather think about them. Thinking about emotions creates distance from the true feeling, and allows the Seven to avoid being controlled by their emotional experiences.

Sevens are masters of rationalization and idealization. With rationalization, the Seven finds good reasons to justify their actions, perspectives and beliefs. Idealization, on the other hand, allows Sevens to see people and experiences as being better than they are.

Anyone can rationalize their behavior to not feel bad about their actions. However, for a Seven it is a double bind. Using their mental agility, it is both playful and easy for a Seven to create good reasons for how they wish to feel, think or act. But doing so hides their true feelings and intentions, keeping them from truly tuning in to their inner guidance systems.

Sevens are skilled at using their imagination to overlook the flaws or less positive qualities of a person, place or thing. While idealizing someone you love is quite normal, for a Seven these rose-colored glasses can mask how they really feel about a loved one. A Seven may focus only on how they imagine a person or a situation, never probing deeper—lest their bubble burst and they are bounced back to reality.

Sevens are very good at feeling positive emotions. They love to feel emotionally high, to experience the thrill of new adventures, new ideas, new romances, and intense experiences. Sevens are often more excited by the anticipation of an upcoming event than the event itself. They love to be in love—that moment in a relationship where nothing is fully known yet and everything is to be discovered.

Yet, deep down, every Seven knows that what goes up must come down. Behind the trademark smile and enthusiastic demeanor, Sevens can struggle with loneliness, grief and self-doubt—living with a terrible feeling that they just aren’t living life to the fullest. If Sevens do get stuck in a negative space for too long, they can become critical and pessimistic.

Childhood Origins

In childhood, most Sevens experienced a disruptive and painful event. Like someone pulling the ejection seat cord too soon, Sevens can feel like their childhood ended before they were ready. To cope, they revert to an earlier time when they felt happier, connected, safe and in control.

This retreat into positive thoughts, fantasies and plans leads the Seven to develop an active imagination, a positive temperament and an inventive mind, while also successfully avoiding the harsh realities of their situation.

Sevens will primarily recall their childhood as being a happy one, however, that is often an indication of their ability to look on the bright side of even the worst situations. Sevens learn to distract themselves from their childhood; the more difficult the childhood, the more skilled they are at imagining alternate realities.

Many Sevens often have a good relationship with one parent over the other. Typically, they prefer the overprotective, permissive parent versus the authoritarian one, as Sevens associate authority with control and quickly learn they dislike being told what to do. They learn that being imaginative, charming, a good talker and entertaining are ways to disarm authority and subtly undermine the rules, representing a way to avoid limitations and discomfort.

In Relationships

Sevens are energetic, adventurous and enthusiastic partners who seek a counterpart who will join them in experiencing everything life has to offer.

The Good:

  • Fun-loving and enthusiastic, always planning the next adventure
  • Energetic and engaged in exploring the world
  • Optimistic and good at seeing the “silver lining”

The Bad:

  • Tend to avoid calm, quiet moments
  • Avoids conflict and painful conversations
  • Flighty and distractible

Sevens are active romancers, forming deeper bonds through activities and conversations. Common interests are very important to a Seven relationship. In their ideal world, a Seven’s partner would join them in their favorite activities, making something they already enjoy even more fun.

Sevens measure a relationship by how much fun everyone is having. A Seven can commit to a relationship when they realize that fun and commitment aren’t mutually exclusive, and know they will continue to have options, variety and space to explore within the relationship. Sevens know relationships aren’t always conflict-free, and the mundane chores are a part of any living situation, but they need to feel confident that their partners will help them find a way to make the mundane as pleasurable as possible.

Sevens can help their partners do things they ordinarily would not have thought possible. They see the potential in people, and combined with their positivity and optimism, can help their partners in new and unexpected ways.

Sevens are very imaginative, and while that helps with planning adventures, it can lead to miscommunication. Their minds are readily flooded with associations and imaginative ideas, and can easily find themselves interpreting what others say in a way that wasn’t intended. Sevens can find themselves having two entirely different conversations unless they learn to articulate these associations.

Negative emotions and experiences are the Seven blind spots, and this is especially true in relationships. They will struggle to share their deeper fears and experiences until they have built a trusted foundation with someone who is emotionally self-sufficient. Their relationships would benefit from having an agreed process for sharing and discussing the negative feelings, stories and experiences that build up in a relationship. As this requires slowing down and listening, something a Seven struggles with, developing a safe space or process for the icky stuff will be key.

At Work

At work, Sevens want to have the freedom to pursue many different options, as they are never exactly sure what they will enjoy the most. They will automatically seek out whatever sounds fun, exciting or intellectually stimulating and will immediately start brainstorming a million different ways to achieve it, no matter how unrealistic.

What the Seven needs at work:

  • The freedom to pursue their ideas
  • A friendly boss and democratic decision-making process
  • Respect and appreciation for their ideas
  • Contact with interesting people

Sevens are very good at believing in their ability to tackle any project, and enjoy figuring it out as they go. Often seen as a jack of all trades who can turn their hand to anything, they are creative planners and visionaries who enjoy starting projects, but start to lose interest when things become too detailed, slow or boring.

Sevens are natural networkers and will have friends and acquaintances across the organization. They will charm the people above and below them on the organizational chart, often as a way to avoid being trapped or have someone in ‘power’ tell them what to do. For this reason, Sevens will feel more comfortable in flat, democratic organizations than hierarchical ones.

In their enthusiasm they may lose touch with what’s real, exaggerate their abilities and move so fast they skip over important details. If they find themselves tasked with a project they aren’t enjoying, or are required to follow a rigid process, they may well pass the project off to someone else or simply take a very long time to complete it.

Sevens will seek workplaces that provide them with multiples experiences and constant variety. Whether it’s the ability to travel, to tackle different projects, to constantly meet new and interesting people or always be learning new things, a Seven will want work to feel like a thrilling adventure or they will lose interest and try something new.

The Spectrum of Health

Like all types, Sevens express their characteristics differently depending on how well they are functioning. When Sevens are healthy, happy, and well-adapted, they will tend to display more of the positive qualities of their type. When they are less healthy and happy, they will show more of their characteristic weaknesses.

Stressed

When Sevens are psychologically unhealthy, they are some of the most reckless, out of control and manic of all the types. Because they are avoiding pain at any cost, they are like an unstoppable whirlwind, bouncing between activities that promise relief but never really deliver. They may cycle between a somewhat manic state and depression, leaving a trail of chaos and confusion in their wake. In the process they may physically or mentally burn out, neglect their finances, and wreak havoc on their physical health.

Stressed Sevens can be described as:

  • Impulsive
  • Irresponsible
  • Reckless
  • Erratic
  • Out of control
  • Panic-stricken
  • Depressed
  • Critical

Average

At average levels of psychological health, Sevens are keenly aware of what they might be missing out on. They maintain the appearance of having lots of options by keeping busy—whether that’s juggling multiple projects, entertaining many people, or keeping up with the latest trends. Their energy is scattered and unfocused as they seek distraction, stimulation, and gratification from outside of themselves.

Average Sevens can be described as:

  • Restless
  • Busy
  • Excited
  • Entertaining
  • Distracted
  • Unfocused
  • Impatient
  • Demanding

Thriving

At their best, Sevens can harness enormous enthusiasm and curiosity, yet still remain focused and deeply engaged with a task until it’s completed. They are creative and practical, producing work that reinforces their identity. They are appreciative for all of life’s experiences, able to digest them fully, and discover by doing so they are both satisfied with life and have all their needs met.

Thriving Sevens can be described as:

  • Appreciative
  • Joyful
  • Deeply grateful
  • Focused
  • Prolific
  • Innovative
  • Versatile
  • Optimistic
  • Spontaneous

Transformations

Essential to the Enneagram is the idea of growth and movement. Rather than being locked into a static personality type, the Enneagram shows how we can shift and change, both under stress and in times of expansion and growth. The two primary ways our personalities undergo transformation is through wings and arrows.

Wings

In the Enneagram, each type is considered to have two potential wings. Your potential wings are the types which are adjacent to your primary type on the Enneagram diagram. For most people, their primary type explains the core of their behavior, while the wing drives secondary (and sometimes contradictory!) aspects of who they are. Learning about your wing will help you to understand your personality in more depth.

Wings are also a way to think about development. In studying the Enneagram, the first goal is always to understand ourselves as we are. The second goal is to understand how to move out of our patterns so that we may become more well-rounded, adaptable, and effective as people. Wings can help us to understand who we are, but they can also help us to see new behaviors that we might experiment with in order to grow and develop. Because our wings are adjacent to our own patterns, they can be easier to “try on” as compared with other, unrelated types.

As a Seven, you may have either a Six or an Eight wing, or a bit of both. These wings modify how you express your type, and add depth to understanding what drives you. If there are some aspects of who you are that do not seem to fit with your primary type, then understanding your wings may explain why.

Your wing expression:

40%96%0102030405060708090100SIXEIGHT

The Six Wing

Sixes are loyal, responsible and safety-conscious people who want to make the world safe and secure for the people they care about. At their core, they fear not being able to survive on their own, and so they rely on people, institutions and beliefs to provide them with support—while also being deeply skeptical and wary of those who may not deserve their trust. It takes them time to put their trust into someone or something, but when they do, they are exceedingly loyal.

A Six wing brings more courage, calm, and commitment to the Seven personality type. Where a Seven will constantly look for the next best thing, Sixes are evaluating all the risks of a situation, considering different options and developing a plan before taking action. A Seven with a Six wing is thus more likely to look before leaping, to pause to consider what might go wrong and be willing to compromise on the path forward. A Six wing can help to moderate the Seven’s desire to try everything first and worry about it later.

Developing a Six wing will increase a Seven’s ability to be uncomfortable. Sixes are deeply skeptical, continually questioning whether someone or something can be trusted. Once they do trust someone, Sixes are incredibly loyal to them. But that takes courage to get to know someone first, warts and all. A Seven with a Six wing will be loyal to a small group of people, who they have taken the time to get to know, while not feeling responsible for being the entertainment.

Contributions of a Six wing

  • Able to face fears more easily
  • Commitment to a course of action
  • Take relationships more seriously
  • See the negative possibilities along with the positive

The Eight Wing

Eights are independent, assertive and decisive, challenging themselves to shape the world they live in. At their core, Eights fear being controlled by others and adopt a strategy of strength, readily asserting their power by being fearless, opinionated and confident.

An Eight wing bring more honesty and realism to the Seven Personality Type. While Sevens tend to be overly optimistic about their capabilities, resources and accomplishments, Eights efficiently assess the resources they actually have, quickly getting to the bottom line. This allows them to produce more concrete results in their projects. For a Seven, developing an Eight wing helps them be more honest with themselves and focus on making things happen instead of imagining them.

Developing an Eight wing can increase a Seven’s confidence with conflict. Eights recognize pain as a normal part of life—theirs and others—and do not see conflict as a problem, but rather a normal part of getting things done. When Sevens develop their toughness, they become less afraid of being hurt. This enables them to be more focused and independent.

Contributions of an Eight wing

  • Access to personal strength and power
  • Assertiveness and ability to express opinions
  • Honest assessment of abilities and resources
  • Move quickly from planning to doing
  • Focus on achieving concrete results

Arrows

Arrows in the Enneagram represent a path to development. Each Enneagram type is connected to two other types in the diagram, and each connection is marked with an arrow in a particular direction. These arrows can be thought of as pointing in the direction of growth. One arrow points towards your primary type, indicating that you must grow from this development point. The other arrow points away from your primary type, indicating that you will grow toward this development point.

In contrast with wings, which are somewhat related with our primary type, arrows point to aspects of our personality that may be completely neglected. We tend to access our arrow points during times of upheaval, when we are experiencing stress or profound personal growth. Accessing arrow points is often difficult and disruptive, but integrating these points with our personalities is an important part of becoming our highest selves.

Sevens connect with development points of type Five and One. The characteristics of these types represent key developmental stages in the growth of the Seven personality type. You may have already developed somewhat through your arrows, or you may find that your arrows present new opportunities for you to think about how to be more effective.

Your scores for each of your arrow points can give you some idea of how much you’ve already developed through these points. Higher scores indicate that you’ve already developed somewhat, while lower scores indicate an area for future growth.

Your arrow development:

83%64%0102030405060708090100FIVEONE

Developing Through Five

The origin point of the Seven is type Five. This represents a mode that is blocked or repressed for the Seven. For Sevens, the origin point represents a repressed sense of restraint. Sevens tend to assume the satisfaction they seek will be found in activity; talking to people, travelling to places, reading books, attending parties, changing jobs, and so on. In contrast, Fives tend to work toward minimizing external activity, limiting their needs and withdrawing into objective reflection. In essence, they seek to detach from the world.

So, a key development point for the Seven is to rediscover the joy of solitude. By withdrawing to a safe space where they can relax and mindfully take care of themselves, they can find space to disconnect from distractions and momentary pleasures and methodically reconnect to their inner sense of knowing.

Tasks for development through the origin point

  • Create quiet time.Instead of aiming to fill every minute with an activity, build time into your schedule for nothingness, where you don’t have to entertain yourself or others. Create a space that’s just for you, for resting and taking care of you.
  • Make decisions slowly.Learning to say ‘no’ can be tricky for a Seven. Instead, aim to make decisions slowly. Set a waiting time period, for instance, “I will make this decision in 5 days.” The bigger the decision, the longer the wait. This waiting period allows you to reflect on the situation and listen to your true feelings and intentions, enabling you to make decisions that align with your needs.
  • Take a step back.Sevens are often at the whim of their mental impulses, whereas Fives practice detaching from their thoughts and simply observing them. Sevens will benefit from practicing meditation, mindfulness or concentration activities that build their ability to observe their mind rather than getting caught up in it.

Developing Through One

The growth point of the Seven is type One. This represents a mode that the Seven can move towards as they seek to grow into new ways of being. For Sevens who have developed their own characteristics into a healthy mode of being, discovering and adopting more of the healthy behaviors of Ones can open up their growth even further. This means discovering the routine, structure and responsibility that comes naturally to Ones.

Whereas Sevens focus on themselves and ensuring everyone is having fun, Ones are instinctively focused on working toward their ideas about what is right and serving a higher good. When a Seven starts to feel called to actualize their dreams, they can begin to benefit from the One’s appreciation for constraints, discipline and structure. While Sevens naturally shy away from what feel like limitations, adopting a One’s attention to frameworks can actually be very supportive and grounding. Using the One’s tendency to be perfectionistic, detail-oriented, and hardworking, Sevens can begin to strike the perfect balance between work and play.

Tasks for development through the growth point

  • Choose your constraints. Sevens eventually discover they don’t need to have every freedom or option available to them, and that some are more important than others. Make a list of all the “freedoms” you can think of, then rank them in order of importance to you. For each, decide what kind of choices you want to keep open and what are willing to let go of.
  • Develop playful routines.Healthy routines are key to remaining creative and productive. Review your current routines in four areas: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. Which routines or habits are helping you, and which are hindering, to achieve your higher purpose? Choose one routine you need to achieve your goals and consider how to make fun, freedom or play a part of it.
  • Commit to work and play. Turning your dreams into reality is hard work, and a Seven will naturally get distracted. Remain committed to the project by looking to bring playfulness into the project or relationship, rather than seeking it externally. Ask yourself, and your team, “How can we remain committed to this project in the long term while making it more enjoyable now?”

A Path Forward

Like all types, Sevens have patterns they act out unconsciously, based on their own core beliefs and fears. Sometimes these patterns work for us; sometimes they hold us back. In recognizing our patterns and how they limit us, we can begin to grow beyond the limitations of our unconscious fears.

Although the Enneagram can be extremely useful in understanding who you are and why you do the things you do, the real value of the system is uncovered when you begin to understand it as a way to grow and develop. The Enneagram can help us to see our patterns objectively, so that we can begin to understand that they are not inevitable—we can choose to take another approach if we need to. And, it can help us to understand what we need to do in order to grow and become happier, more effective, more actualized people.

Each type has particular patterns they must examine and overcome in order to move forward. Sevens must work to accept and appreciate pain and discomfort in the present moment, rather than seek to distract themselves from it. They must learn to recognise their impulses for fun and pleasure, as just that, impulses not as absolutes. Instead becoming conscious of whatever is real and true for them in the present moment, and think of their life’s journey as one focused on connecting with their inner guidance and instincts.

Growth tasks for Sevens

  • Find the joy in the ordinary. Notice when you are seeking out a heightened version of reality and instead start to notice the joy in the seemingly mundane.
  • Build deeper connections with people by being more consciously connected to yourself.
  • Accept and allow all of your feelings, motivations and intentions.
  • Be honest about the conflict or perceived criticism you are avoiding.
  • Notice when you are living in your imagination, andlearn to distinguish between fantasy and reality.
  • Work to get in touch with your deeper feelings, including fear, sadness and anger. Release past hurts.
  • Be honest with yourself about your progress. Be sure that when you are working on a project or a relationship, that you aren’t just ‘working on it’ in your imagination.

When Sevens are operating at their best, they are an innovative powerhouse, overflowing with creative concepts while prioritizing their attention. They keep the people around them enthusiastically and inspired about life, while connected to a deeper sense of abundance. Although it is never easy to examine and overcome our old patterns, Sevens who do so will find that life can be ever fuller and exciting than they ever thought possible.

 

MANTRA FOR SEVENS

Every experience is valuable, worthy and extraordinary.

 

What Makes You Unique

Although your Enneagram type explains a great deal about you, it doesn’t explain everything! Within your type, you have reached a specific level of development and growth which is unique to you, and you have also had experiences that have required you to stretch into different modes and develop traits that are not necessarily typical for your Enneagram type. In this section, we’ll look at the traits that are unique to you—both those traits that can be used as super-strengths, and those which may be holding you back.

Below, you’ll find information on the top 3 traits you can harness as your personal superpowers, and the top 3 traits which may be stopping you from achieving what you desire. One important thing to remember is that personality traits are never all good, or all bad. Every trait has its possible benefits and potential downsides—it’s all in how you use it.

Your Top 3 Personality Superpowers

Which of your personality traits are your biggest assets? We all have our strengths and weaknesses, and many psychologists believe that the key to success is not in trying to overcome all your flaws, but rather in making the most of what you have going for you. Let’s look now at some traits that you may be able to deploy to your benefit.

As you read over this section, remember that even beneficial personality traits can work against you if they are overused. For each superpower below, you’ll see how it can benefit your life, as well as how it may backfire if not kept in balance.

2002468101214161820ENTHUSIASM

Enthusiasm. Your zest for life is obvious to everyone around you, and you find yourself driven by a relentless enthusiasm for what’s coming next. You keep your life exciting and moving forward, rarely letting things get dull. Other people find you exciting (and sometimes exhausting!) to be with, and you never have a shortage of fun ideas. Although you can wear yourself out with your boundless appetite for trying new things, for the most part, your enthusiasm brings you a life that is full of fun and adventure.

2002468101214161820OPTIMISM

Optimism. Your dedication to a glass-half-full mentality keeps you going when others might give up, and gives you the courage to try things that many might see as too risky. You genuinely believe that things usually work out for the best, and with your determination to make things go your way, this is often a self-fulfilling prophecy. You have a tendency to be optimistic even when things are dire, and sometimes this means that you gloss over the negative and are taken by surprise when problems arise. When it comes to important plans, be sure to take time to think about how things could go wrong, even if it feels unnatural and overly pessimistic. Once your due diligence is done, you can move forward with even more confidence that things will work out in your favor.

1902468101214161820ANALYSIS

Analysis. You wouldn’t dream of doing something without thinking it through, and you typically have a deeper understanding of the situation than the people around you—simply because you take the time to really think about it. While you may sometimes be accused of overthinking things (and in fact, you are prone to getting stuck in analysis when you should be taking action), for the most part, your thoughtfulness allows you to understand more deeply, predict more accurately, and set more detailed goals. Rather than react too quickly, you take time to ponder, with the result that your choices tend to be well thought-out and carefully considered.

Your Top 3 Personality Blind Spots

Now, let’s take a look at those aspects of your personality that are likely to get in your way, cause you stress, or interfere with you achieving what you want. These are traits that you need to be especially conscious of, as they can tend to sidetrack you if you are not paying attention.

As with your strengths, these traits are not always negative; in fact, by being aware of them, you’ll be more able to turn them to your advantage. The goal is not to eliminate these qualities from your personality; rather, you want to explore and master them so you can choose the most effective behavior for yourself in any given situation.

1902468101214161820IMAGE

Image. You are very aware of what people think of you, and you cultivate your image with care. This means that you often make choices that others admire, and are often well-liked. However, it can also lead you to be overly concerned with appearances over substance—in the worst case scenario, leading a life that looks good from the outside but isn’t fulfilling. Worse yet, your concern for image sometimes backfires, causing you to come off as inauthentic and creating distance in your relationships. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be admired, as long as you keep a sense of balance. Sometimes the right choice isn’t the one that wins you the most acclaim, and sometimes you have to be willing to ruffle a few feathers as you pursue what’s right for you.

1702468101214161820SUPERIORITY

Superiority. Although you may not freely admit it, the truth is, you believe that you are a bit better than other people—or that you should aspire to be. Although you may find that you produce excellent results simply because you expect more from yourself, your belief that you are superior creates a lot of pressure on you and can sometimes make you come off as arrogant. While there’s nothing wrong with aspiring to great things, the fact is that everyone has their flaws and weaknesses, you included. You may find more peace and contentment in life if your identity doesn’t depend so much on being “the best.”

1102468101214161820PRESENT

Present Focus. You are a grounded sort of person, tuned into what’s happening now. You don’t spend much time thinking about the future or imagining what might come next. You’re way ahead of those multitasking folks who struggle to “stay present,” but you can also be a bit blindsided by life. Without a vision for the future, your path through life can be haphazard, and you may make decisions based on circumstance rather than a cohesive plan for what you want. Although nobody can predict the future, that doesn’t make thinking ahead a waste of time. Making a point to think about how you’d like your life to go will make it more likely that you get what you want.

 

Making the Most of Who You Are

The Enneagram presents a rich opportunity to discover what drives us, what matters to us, and who we are at our core. You may have found that your Enneagram report confirmed some of what you already knew about yourself. You may have also found words for aspects of yourself that you were aware of, but didn’t know how to describe. And you may have also seen some sides to yourself that you were uncomfortable with.

Many people find that taking an Enneagram assessment and discovering their type helps them to get back in touch with important parts of themselves that have been obscured or pushed aside in daily life. Others find that the Enneagram helps them to understand the paths they might take to be more fulfilled and empowered in their goals. Whatever your purpose with the Enneagram, we thank you for allowing us to help you along your way. We wish you the best of luck in your journey to your higher self!