Don Riso Enneagram Point 6

6
THE LOYALIST
Enneagram Type Six

The Committed, Security-Oriented Type:
Engaging, Responsible, Anxious, and Suspicious


Type Six in Brief

The committed, security-oriented type. Sixes are reliable, hard-working, responsible, and trustworthy. Excellent “troubleshooters,” they foresee problems and foster cooperation, but can also become defensive, evasive, and anxious—running on stress while complaining about it. They can be cautious and indecisive, but also reactive, defiant and rebellious. They typically have problems with self-doubt and suspicion. At their Best: internally stable and self-reliant, courageously championing themselves and others.

  • Basic Fear: Of being without support and guidance

  • Basic Desire: To have security and support

  • Enneagram Six with a Five-Wing: “The Defender”

  • Enneagram Six with a Seven-Wing: “The Buddy”

Key Motivations: Want to have security, to feel supported by others, to have certitude and reassurance, to test the attitudes of others toward them, to fight against anxiety and insecurity.

The Meaning of the Arrows (in brief)

When moving in their Direction of Disintegration (stress), dutiful Sixes suddenly become competitive and arrogant at Three. However, when moving in their Direction of Integration (growth), fearful, pessimistic Sixes become more relaxed and optimistic, like healthy NineLearn more about the arrows.

Examples: Krishnamurti, Johannes Brahms, Mark Twain, Sigmund Freud, J. Edgar Hoover, Richard Nixon, Robert F. Kennedy, Malcolm X, George H.W. Bush, Diana, Princess of Wales, Prince Harry, J.R.R. Tolkien, John Grisham, Mike Tyson, Bruce Springsteen, U2’s Bono, Melissa Etheridge, Eminem, Oliver Stone, Michael Moore, Spike Lee, Marilyn Monroe, Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman, Mark Wahlberg, Woody Allen, Diane Keaton, Mel Gibson, Sally Field, Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Julia Roberts, Jennifer Aniston, Elliot Page, Paul Rudd, Sarah Jessica Parker, Ben Affleck, Hugh Laurie, Katie Holmes, David Letterman, Jay Leno, Ellen Degeneres, Andy Rooney, Katie Couric, Newt Gingrich, Alex Jones (Infowars), Rush Limbaugh, Chris Rock, Lewis Black, Larry David, Seinfeld’s “George Costanza,” Lord of the Rings’ “Frodo Baggins”


Type Six Overview

We have named personality type Six The Loyalist because, of all the personality types, Sixes are the most loyal to their friends and to their beliefs. They will “go down with the ship” and hang on to relationships of all kinds far longer than most other types. Sixes are also loyal to ideas, systems, and beliefs—even to the belief that all ideas or authorities should be questioned or defied. Indeed, not all Sixes go along with the “status quo”: their beliefs may be rebellious and anti-authoritarian, even revolutionary. In any case, they will typically fight for their beliefs more fiercely than they will fight for themselves, and they will defend their community or family more tenaciously than they will defend themselves.

The reason Sixes are so loyal to others is that they do not want to be abandoned and left without support—their Basic Fear. Thus, the central issue for type Six is a failure of self-confidence. Sixes come to believe that they do not possess the internal resources to handle life’s challenges and vagaries alone, and so increasingly rely on structures, allies, beliefs, and supports outside themselves for guidance to survive. If suitable structures do not exist, they will help create and maintain them.

Sixes are the primary type in the Thinking Center, meaning that they have the most trouble contacting their own inner guidance. As a result, they do not have confidence in their own minds and judgments.

This does not mean that they do not think. On the contrary, they think—and worry—a lot! They also tend to fear making important decisions, although at the same time, they resist having anyone else make decisions for them. They want to avoid being controlled, but are also afraid of taking responsibility in a way that might put them “in the line of fire.” (The old Japanese adage that says, “The blade of grass that grows too high gets chopped off” relates to this idea.)

Sixes are always aware of their anxieties and are always looking for ways to construct “social security” bulwarks against them. If Sixes feel that they have sufficient back up, they can move forward with some degree of confidence. But if that crumbles, they become anxious and self-doubting, reawakening their Basic Fear. (“I’m on my own! What am I going to do now?”) A good question for Sixes might therefore be: “When will I know that I have enough security?” Or, to get right to the heart of it, “What is security?” Without Essential inner guidance and the deep sense of support that it brings, Sixes are constantly struggling to find firm ground.

Sixes attempt to build a network of trust over a background of unsteadiness and fear. They are often filled with a nameless anxiety and then try to find or create reasons why. Wanting to feel that there is something solid and clear-cut in their lives, they can become attached to explanations or positions that seem to explain their situation. Because “belief” (trust, faith, convictions, positions) is difficult for Sixes to achieve, and because it is so important to their sense of stability, once they establish a trustworthy belief, they do not easily question it, nor do they want others to do so. The same is true for individuals in a Six’s life: once Sixes feel they can trust someone, they go to great lengths to maintain connections with the person who acts as a sounding board, a mentor, or a regulator for the Six’s emotional reactions and behavior. They therefore do everything in their power to keep their affiliations going. (“If I don’t trust myself, then I have to find something in this world I can trust.”)

Although intelligent and accomplished, Connie still has to wrestle with the self-doubt of her type:

“As my anxiety has come under control, so has my need to ‘check out’ everything with my friends. I used to have to get the nod of approval from several hundred (just joking!) ‘authorities.’ About nearly every decision would involve a council of my friends. I usually would do this one on one: ‘What do you think, Mary?’ ‘If I do this, then that might happen.’ Please make up my mind for me!’…Recently, I’ve narrowed my authorities to just one or two trusted friends, and on occasion, I’ve actually made up my own mind!“

Until they can get in touch with their own inner guidance, Sixes are like a ping-pong ball that is constantly shuttling back and forth between whatever influence is hitting the hardest in any given moment. Because of this reactivity, no matter what we say about Sixes, the opposite is often also as true. They are both strong and weak, fearful and courageous, trusting and distrusting, defenders and provokers, sweet and sour, aggressive and passive, bullies and weaklings, on the defensive and on the offensive, thinkers and doers, group people and soloists, believers and doubters, cooperative and obstructionistic, tender and mean, generous and petty—and on and on. It is the contradictory picture that is the characteristic “fingerprint” of Sixes, the fact that they are a bundle of opposites.

The biggest problem for Sixes is that they try to build safety in the environment without resolving their own emotional insecurities. When they learn to face their anxieties, however, Sixes understand that although the world is always changing and is, by nature uncertain, they can be serene and courageous in any circumstance. And they can attain the greatest gift of all, a sense of peace with themselves despite the uncertainties of life.

(from The Wisdom of the Enneagram, p. 235-236)


Type Six—Levels of Development

Healthy Levels

Level 1 (At Their Best): Become self-affirming, trusting of self and others, independent yet symbiotically interdependent and cooperative as an equal. Belief in self leads to true courage, positive thinking, leadership, and rich self-expression.

Level 2: Able to elicit strong emotional responses from others: very appealing, endearing, lovable, affectionate. Trust important: bonding with others, forming permanent relationships and alliances.

Level 3: Dedicated to individuals and movements in which they deeply believe. Community builders: responsible, reliable, trustworthy. Hard-working and persevering, sacrificing for others, they create stability and security in their world, bringing a cooperative spirit.

Average Levels

Level 4: Start investing their time and energy into whatever they believe will be safe and stable. Organizing and structuring, they look to alliances and authorities for security and continuity. Constantly vigilant, anticipating problems.

Level 5: To resist having more demands made on them, they react against others passive-aggressively. Become evasive, indecisive, cautious, procrastinating, and ambivalent. Are highly reactive, anxious, and negative, giving contradictory, “mixed signals.” Internal confusion makes them react unpredictably.

Level 6: To compensate for insecurities, they become sarcastic and belligerent, blaming others for their problems, taking a tough stance toward “outsiders.” Highly reactive and defensive, dividing people into friends and enemies, while looking for threats to their own security. Authoritarian while fearful of authority, highly suspicious, yet, conspiratorial, and fear-instilling to silence their own fears.

Unhealthy Levels

Level 7: Fearing that they have ruined their security, they become panicky, volatile, and self-disparaging with acute inferiority feelings. Seeing themselves as defenseless, they seek out a stronger authority or belief to resolve all problems. Highly divisive, disparaging and berating others

Level 8: Feeling persecuted, that others are “out to get them,” they lash-out and act irrationally, bringing about what they fear. Fanaticism, violence.

Level 9: Hysterical, and seeking to escape punishment, they become self-destructive and suicidal. Alcoholism, drug overdoses, self-abasing behavior. Generally corresponds to the Passive-Aggressive and Paranoid personality disorders.


Compatibility with Other Types

Type 6 in relationship with type:

    2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9


Misidentification with Other Types

Type 6 compared with type:

1     2     3     4     5     7     8     9


Addictions

Rigidity in diet causes nutritional imbalances (“I don’t like vegetables”). Working excessively. Caffeine and amphetamines for stamina, but also alcohol and depressants to deaden anxiety. Higher susceptibility to alcoholism than many types.


Personal Growth Recommendations
for Enneagram Type Sixes

  • Remember that there is nothing unusual about being anxious since everyone is anxious and much more often than you might think. Learn to be more present to your anxiety, to explore it, and to come to terms with it. Work creatively with your tensions without turning to excessive amounts of alcohol (or other drugs) to allay them. In fact, if you are present and breathing fully, anxiety can be energizing, a kind of tonic that can help make you more productive and aware of what you are doing.

  • You tend to get edgy and testy when you are upset or angry, and can even turn on others and blame them for things you have done or brought on yourself. Be aware of your pessimism: it causes you dark moods and negative thought patterns that you tend to project on reality. When you succumb to this self-doubt, you can become your own worst enemy and may harm yourself more than anyone else does.

  • Sixes tend to overreact when they are under stress and feeling anxious. Learn to identify what makes you overreact. Also realize that almost none of the things you have feared so much has actually come true. Even if things are as bad as you think, your fearful thoughts weaken you and your ability to change things for the better. You cannot always manage external events, but you can manage your own thoughts.

  • Work on becoming more trusting. There are doubtless several people in your life you can turn to who care about you and who are trustworthy. If not, go out of your way to find someone trustworthy, and allow yourself to get close to that person. This will mean risking rejection and stirring up some of your deepest fears, but the risk is worth taking. You have a gift for getting people to like you, but you are unsure of yourself and may be afraid of making a commitment to them. Therefore, come down clearly on one side or the other of the fence in your relationships. Let people know how you feel about them.

  • Others probably think better of you than you realize, and few people are really out to get you. In fact, your fears tell you more about your attitudes toward others than they indicate about others’ attitudes toward you.

Posted in Six

Reflections from an Enneagram Six

 Learning to Trust That God Will Never Leave Me

When I started working with InterVarsity in 2014, I realized how little I actually knew myself. Through all the reflection, personality, and emotional health tools that I became aware of, I always proceeded with caution and excitement. Caution because I was afraid of what would be exposed. Excited because I knew, even when I didn’t want to admit it, that this was an opportunity to know God more intimately.

As I’ve explored the Enneagram, I’ve seen this also as a tool: to sharpen and deepen my understanding of myself, and to encounter God with greater vulnerability and trust. When I first heard other staff talk about “their numbers,” however, I assumed the numbers represented worth, and that some numbers were greater than others (I mean, that’s usually what numbers represent). So I hesitated for a long time to read into anything related to the Enneagram. But as I heard people whom I deeply trusted talk about how understanding their number was impacting their spiritual formation, I decided to try it out.

As I read the names of each number, I tried to guess intuitively which one I’d be; perfectionist seemed to make the most sense. But then I read descriptions and scenarios for each number, and realized I was very wrong. I even cross-checked with my wife, and she confirmed. I was a Six, a Loyalist.

The Enneagram Institute defines Loyalists as “the committed, security-oriented type. Sixes are reliable, hard-working, responsible, and trustworthy. Excellent ‘troubleshooters,’ they foresee problems and foster cooperation, but can also become defensive, evasive, and anxious—running on stress while complaining about it. They can be cautious and indecisive, but also reactive, defiant and rebellious. They typically have problems with self-doubt and suspicion. At their Best: internally stable and self-reliant, courageously championing themselves and others.” As I wrestled with both the positive and negative characteristics of a Loyalist, I realized that there is much to embrace about how I am wired, and there is much to pray and repent for. But both the positive and negative are opportunities for me to seek Jesus in a deeply transformative way.

The Positive Characteristics of Loyalists

I have always been loyal to the activities and communities I’ve been a part of. Loyalists get their name because they are most loyal to their friends and their values. It is this type of personality that has the ability to strengthen my faith as a Christian, my commitment as a husband, and my compassion as a friend. It is the loyal nature of my character that also drives discontent for injustice, righteous indignation in ministry, and anger toward manipulation. It is the Loyalist in me that helps make me a great ally, and a committed defender.

When I am healthy, I find that I am not only able to remain faithful to the people and communities around me, but I am also able to easily build trust that pushes the whole team/community forward. In ministry, this means I am able to build trust with students in ways that point them to Jesus. I am able to challenge and redirect students when we need to make a shift. I am also able to encourage and empower them when they are faithfully taking risks. Because they know I am on their side, building a team to pursue mission is fun and faith-building. I am also able to develop strong trust with peers and superiors. I am able to develop influence in a way that builds momentum for my teammates, and in a way that could healthily challenge us to consider direction that we weren’t before. This makes me a great team player, and a useful influencer. In relationships, this makes me a good partner and friend.

The Negative Characteristics of Loyalists

My biggest fear is detachment. I fear being abandoned by others and remaining alone. This fear makes my strength as a Loyalist also a weakness. Because I fear losing affection, value, and self-worth, often my motivation to commit, and to remain loyal to people, communities, and beliefs, is rooted in fear. This leads to anxiety and stress. In stress, I overperform and overcommit to compensate for my fear (which is probably why I initially thought I’d be a perfectionist). Often, my self-confidence and self-worth come from the affirmation of others, which means if I don’t have that, then I tend to struggle with self-doubt.

This impacts my relationship with God because I will often project a lack of public affirmation onto him. So if I am not feeling affirmed by the community around me, I can assume God also isn’t affirming me. In this way, relationships take the place of God in my life and can easily become an idol. Supervisors, friends, and family can all sound like the voice of God in my ear. This cripples my ability to actually hear from God, and shifts my faithfulness to people and communities, who, being sinful and part of a fallen world, will ultimately fail me. This type of inferiority complex could impact my ability to seek opportunities to grow. I often find myself only taking a growth opportunity when it is directed to me by someone else. This makes it hard for me to identify gifts that I have that haven’t already been affirmed by others, and avoid seeking opportunities to grow in those gifts (which has been true for me in my church participation). It also could impact my ability to embrace the identity that God has given me and exchange that with false half-truths that damage the view I have of myself. As a college student, though I showed very clear leadership skills and potential, I never viewed myself as a leader because of lies that were told to me in the beginning of my discipleship as a Christian.

Growing as a Loyalist

Understanding how I am tempted to believe lies about myself, others, and God; where those lies come from; and the truth about myself, others, and God has all been helpful in my journey of growing as a Loyalist. Having consistent space to reflect on my day, my emotions, and my reactions has been helpful for me to both proactively catch moments I am likely to lean into the negative characteristics of a Loyalist and willingly choose to respond differently, and reactively catch moments that I failed in avoiding the critical characteristics, and faithfully confess and repent before God and others. Every morning this looks like a care-casting exercise. Every afternoon this looks like a midday reflection where I stop, journal, and pray. Every evening, this looks like an Examen.

Since my fear of abandonment causes me to believe lies about myself, I’ve also learned to hold a few images and phrases during different seasons to remind myself about the truth of who I am daily. For example, during this season, I spend my morning prayer time reflecting on the truth that I am God’s son, and he is my Father. I look through my schedule for the day to anticipate the moments I may be tempted to believe otherwise, and declare God’s truth over those moments in faith. This has helped me not only increase my personal awareness, but also grow in emotional health.

I’m learning how to embrace both the strengths of being a Loyalist, thanking God for how I can be a gift to my communities, and how this strengthens my faith in Jesus. I’m also learning how to acknowledge the weaknesses of being a Loyalist, confessing to God where I often fall short, and diligently working on turning those weaknesses into opportunities to grow more faithful to Jesus.


Timothy Holmes

Timothy Holmes is an InterVarsity campus staff minister at John Jay College of Criminal Justice in New York City.

Type Six

 

Personality Style SIX: The Loyal Person

Core Value Tendency: SIXES are attracted to and value loyalty. They desire to be faithful, conscientious, responsible persons, keeping their word and honoring their commitments. They want to make the world a safer, more secure, more reliable, trustworthy place to live in. Doing your duty and honoring your traditions is what life is all about.

Adaptive Cognitive Schema: Faith is the objective principle that keeps SIXES connected to their true self and to reality. When SIXES believe in themselves and in their inner authority, they have the certitude that they are already on the side of Being. The Force is with them. They believe the universe is ultimately trustworthy and is out to do them well, not to do them in. When SIXES are in touch with their genuine self and others’ true selves, they are neither afraid nor need to prove their strength and loyalty. Courage and commitment are naturally present.

Adaptive Emotional Schema: The state that accompanies the SIXES objective paradigm is courage, an inner strength that comes from being in touch with one’s inner self and with the objective laws of reality. Courage involves taking responsibility for one’s own beliefs, decisions, and actions. It is the “courage to be” oneself. Any organism spontaneously responds to protect itself and what it values.

Adaptive Behavioral Schemas: Faith and courage lead to being semper fidelis and semper paratus, always faithful and always prepared. SIXES actively scan their surroundings for what might go wrong. They have an intuitive sense for danger and so are rarely caught off guard. SIXES respond well in emergencies because they are usually prepared for them. When crises arise, they respond spontaneously and effectively. Since SIXES are conscientious, responsible, and value doing their duty, they make excellent stabilizers and maintainers in organizations and systems. They can be trusted to be reliable leaders and faithful followers. Because they keep their word, SIXES manifest a stick-to-it-ness and their commitments can be counted on.

Maladaptive Cognitive Schema: When SIXES exaggerate their loyal qualities, they over-identify with the idealized self image of I am loyal; I do my duty. To compensate for a set of maladaptive beliefs that they are not strong or faithful enough, that they may be cast out of their group, that they are likely to be harmed, they become overly suspicious and circumspect, doubting their own orthodoxy and ability to protect themselves and doubting the good intentions of others. The world is seen as a dangerous place that needs to be monitored, guarded against, and restrained.

Maladaptive Emotional Schema: As a consequence of living in an unpredictable and hostile world, SIXES experience the passion of fear. Mistrusting their own common sense and inner authority, they fear they may not be up to the task or challenge, and may let others and especially authority down. They fear the judgments and actions of authorities.

Maladaptive Behavioral Schema: Perennially perceiving the world as threatening and dangerous, and feeling fearful most of the time, SIXES adopt either a phobic or counterphobic stance. From a fearful reactionary place, they let their worries inhibit them, doubting their decisions and delaying their actions. From a counter-fearful position, they impulsively push through their fears, often recklessly pursuing, attacking, or acting out the very thing they are afraid of.

What is Avoided: Seeking to be safe, phobic SIXES avoid being rebellious or devious. Counterphobic SIXES avoid being caught off guard with no exits. SIXES avoid ambiguous ideas, positions, relationships, and situations. They want things clear and want to know where other people really stand on issues. They can be dogmatic, fanatic, vigilantes, brave and daring to compensate for feeling phobic. SIXES may avoid making their own judgments and decisions without the confirmation of someone else. They don’t trust their spontaneous reactions.

Defensive Maneuvers: SIXES ward off unacceptable impulses and behaviors by projecting them onto others, thereby keeping them away from their sense of self. Instead of acknowledging their own anger at having their inner authority encroached or disrespected, SIXES project their anger onto others and then experience the world as hostile and threatening. They give away their authority and then either fearfully go along with what they are told or challenge any external authority in a reactionary manner. SIXES may either become defenders of the faith or conscientious objectors.

Childhood Development: SIXES often had caretakers who did not wield their authority well. They may have been abusive, authoritarian, absent, overly protective, or inconsistent. SIXES learned the world was dangerous and unreliable. They developed a wary ambivalent attitude toward authority figures. Either they wanted to get authority on their side to protect them or they needed to oppose authority to protect themselves. Their “fearful mind” developed to help them sense and ward off danger, protecting them from being caught off guard or betrayed.

Non-Resourceful State: When SIXES are under stress, they trust themselves less and become more worrisome and indecisive. They might become more dogmatic and orthodox to resolve their doubts. Or they might become more suspicious of others and be more rebellious against any form of authority. They take on more projects, get busy and run around instead of dealing with their inner fears. They may assume a role or identify within some group to feel more secure, becoming devoted followers or loyal middle managers.

Resourceful State: When SIXES are in a resourceful relaxed state, they get in touch with their inner authority. They trust their instincts and have faith in themselves. They accept the responsibility for their own choices and act on them courageously. They believe they can take care of themselves in an emergency. They believe the world is on their side vs against them. They remain calm and say to themselves: “I am settled” vs I am upset. They make molehills out of mountains instead of vice versa, realizing they tend to imagine the worst, blow things out of proportion, and see danger and evil intentions where there are only inconveniences and inadvertences. They find truth in all sides of an issue vs polarizing issues into who is on their side and who is against them. I am therefore I am courageous replaces I am loyal therefore I’m O.K.

Posted in Six