Category: Enneagram Theory
Enneagram Type Two Panel
Beatrice Chestnut:
Signs you May Be an Enneagram 4
The Enneagram 4 is the most individualistic of the nine Enneagram types, and because of this, the Type 4 places a lot of emphasis on identity. But aside from their desire to stay unique, there are plenty of other signs you could be an Enneagram 4—even if you haven’t taken the official test yet!
Whether you’re familiar with the Enneagram system or new to personality type theory, these tell-tale signs you’re an Enneagram 4 will resonate with those uncertain about where they fit in the Enneagram personality theory.
1. You place a lot of importance on your unique talents
The Enneagram 4 is all about being unique, so carving out a place for themselves in the world is of the utmost importance to them. If you feel focused on what makes you unique above all other things about you, you may be an Enneagram 4.
2. Enneagram 4s feel existentially different from others
As a result of feeling different from others, the Enneagram Type 4 emphasizes creating a unique persona and standing out from the crowd. They fear they’re somewhat flawed and lack what it takes to experience happiness as others do. By amplifying their differences and unique traits, Type 4s hope to feel more appreciated and loved.
3. You connect with art and nature
Although many personality types find art and nature appealing, Enneagram 4s are moved by works of art and the great outdoors. Type 4s are notorious champions of poetry, art, literature, and philosophies that put humanity and nature in close company.
4. Your feelings rule you
Although an Enneagram 4 may be logical when needed, often, their feelings lead to their actions and decisions. In fact, others accuse them of being moody. Like how the 16-type system’s Feelers behave, a Type 4 will go with their heart over their head in most cases.
5. You’re ultra-sensitive
If your feelings rule your decisions, it’s an easy assumption to say you may also be a highly sensitive person (HSP). HSPs make up about 30 thirty of the population and are sensitive to emotions, stimuli, light, and sound and are overwhelmed by the world around them. Even if a Type 4 isn’t an HSP, a high level of sensitivity is paramount to their personality. You’re also very self-critical.
6. Notions of ‘normalcy’ turn you off
If being called normal makes you cringe, you’re probably an Enneagram 4! Type 4s pride themselves on their unique, quirky traits, and they feel gutted if someone accuses them of being ordinary.
7. You’re okay being vulnerable and authentic
One of the key traits of the Enneagram 4 is a love of authenticity and creating their truth. Because of this, type fours disdain people who are inauthentic and fake and strive to be the most vulnerable, truthful person they can be. On a side note, that doesn’t mean that an Enneagram 4 will allow themselves to expose vulnerable emotions on the regular. It just means they prefer to be as truthful and honest as possible.
8. You prefer deep conversations and emotions
In line with Type 4’s love of authenticity, these Enneagram personalities prefer to get down to the nitty-gritty of topics and skip the small talk. Small talk and what they deem “fake” conversations make them uncomfortable. Type 4s prefer to dig deep into how people feel and get to the truth of the matters, no matter how painful.
9. You’re okay with mood swings and melancholy
Mood swings and melancholy feelings are nothing new for Enneagram 4s. Because they strive to connect with their inner emotions, they see the beauty in sadness and other “negative” emotions that different types try hard to avoid. Instead of avoidance, a Type 4 will place these raw emotions into their art or works or inspiration.
10. You’re uncomfortable in social settings
The Enneagram 4 is uncomfortable in social settings because they feel misunderstood or lonesome. While their friends or acquaintances are talking, Type 4s often go into their heads, disappearing from all cognizant conversation, trying to grapple with why they feel so out of place. This emotion stems back to their fear of being flawed, as though everyone around them is content, while they will never reach this level of contentment.
11. You’re creative
Creativity is like a specific food group to an Enneagram 4. This personality type strives to nurture and expand their creative faculties however feasible, and they won’t stop at anything to make sure their unique skills stand out from the crowd. Because Enneagram 4s are all about staying unique, they often groom their talents and abilities until they are, indeed, an asset to their personal and professional lives.
14. You romanticize relationships and life events
If you’re a Type 4, you’re a romantic person who compares your life to books and films. This isn’t to say you’re illogical or unrealistic – that’s the opposite. Enneagram Type 4s are romantic because they expect and hope for a fairytale partnership and effortless friendships. They realize their dreams are not achievable. While they see their expectations are too high, this often makes them feel disillusioned with the realities of life.
15. You feel like you’re missing the key ingredient for happiness
Despite how content an Enneagram 4 becomes, they still feel “empty,” as though they lack a significant piece of themselves that would lead them to happiness. This feeling leaves the Enneagram Type 4 motivated to express their individuality to be accepted.
16. Withdrawing from others is commonplace
If you’re moody and prone to withdrawal, you may be an Enneagram 4. These types will often hole themselves up to discover their feelings and hash them out in private through art, writing, or other forms of expression. For example, if a Type 4 feels best when sewing or designing, they’ll abandon all social expectations and devote themselves to those tasks for a few days without offering explanations. The Type 4 will also withdraw from others when under a lot of stress.
17. You’re self-aware
Although other Enneagram types are also self-aware, the Type 4 is one of the most self-examining. They spend hours, days, and weeks dissecting actions and behaviors to understand themselves better. Because of their devotion to these habits and their general talent for insightfulness, Enneagram 4s are attuned to their emotions, motivations, and crutches — and will explain it to their loved ones if they feel the need to divulge their past actions.
18. You get jealous or envious when you’re unhappy
A sad reality is that of an Enneagram 4: they will feel unhappy until they learn to make their own happiness. Type 4s feel unable to achieve satisfaction on their own, so they seek and search through their unique traits and talents. Whether a 4’s skills bring them joy will vary from person to person, but a healthy Type 4 will no longer be jealous or envious of others.
In the meantime, a key trait for average or unhealthy Type 4s is to feel envious of others whom they deem as “happy” or “fulfilled” because they feel they’re always searching for that happiness and fulfillment.
19. You’re compassionate and caring
People accuse Individualists of being self-centered, thanks to their concern for their “uniqueness” and “happiness.” However, the Type 4 is one of the most genuine types of the Enneagram, who understand and empathize with a whole spectrum of emotions. Because of their understanding, they can be the most caring personality type to add to a friend list.
20. You’re often lost in your head
When Type 4s seem withdrawn and aloof, they’re lost in their thoughts. These emotionally-charged types are not strangers to disappearing into their heads, content to explore the creative and subconscious possibilities of art, human understanding, and more. Because Enneagram 4s aren’t afraid of losing themselves inside their minds, others might assume they’re spacey or ditzy because they fade in and out of conversations in favor of their inner world.
The takeaway
You may be an Enneagram Type 4 if you identify with several of the Type 4 traits above. As unique individuals, Enneagram 4s emphasize staying authentic, avoiding “false” narratives, and being self-aware. Emotional and okay with being vulnerable (sometimes), Type 4s don’t mind showcasing their weaknesses and honoring their strengths in art and other creative outlets. If this sounds like you, you might be an Enneagram Type 4. But since many personality types may experience an overlap of particular characteristics, you may want to make sure you’re a specific type by taking the free Enneagram test if you haven’t done so already.
Type Nine
Personality Style NINE: The Peaceful Person
Core Value Tendency: NINES are attracted to and value peace, harmony, and unity. They desire to make the world an ecumenical, harmonious, conflict-free place to live in. They like being peaceful, calm, and ordered and prefer to go with the flow. The universe is unfolding as it should and they see no need to push the river since it’s flowing fine by itself. Being at one with yourself and your surroundings is what life is all about.
Adaptive Cognitive Schema: The objective vision that keeps NINES aligned with their true nature and with reality is the realization of their unity with the universe and their functioning according to the same laws that govern everyone else. This gives them their sense of peace, harmony, integration, and oneness with all reality. They further believe that the laws of the universe are warm and loving (vs cold and indifferent) since they have given birth to organic, living, warm creatures. Teleology is built right into the laws of the cosmos. There is a value and meaning, a purpose and direction that is manifest in all that is.
Adaptive Emotional Schema: The state that accompanies the NINES’ objective paradigm is action, love wishing to pass itself on. Action flows naturally from a sense of gratitude for being loved, from the recognition that one is capable of loving, and from the desire to do something in return. Action arises when individuals want to actualize and transcend themselves by connecting with other people and with the Source of the universe.
Adaptive Behavioral Schemas: Behavior that flows from a realization of being loved and loving, responding gratefully, and appreciating harmony, includes the abilities to reconcile opposites, find agreement, be diplomatic and allowing, and have an intuitive sense for when things fit together. NINES are easy going, calm, reassuring, non-pretentious, and relaxedly focused.
Maladaptive Cognitive Schema: When NINES exaggerate their peaceful qualities, they over-identify with the idealized self image of I am settled. To compensate for a maladaptive belief that they are not important enough to be cared about or don’t matter enough to be listened to, and to keep themselves from feeling neglected, NINES develop an attitude of resignation: “What’s the big deal? Why get upset? Nothing is that important. We’re not around that long anyway. Whatever we do will be undone eventually so why exert so much effort?” NINES settle in for the duration and go on automatic pilot. They neglect what is most important to them and fidget with distractions.
Maladaptive Emotional Schema: Along with the disposition to neglect what is essential, NINES experience the passion of indolence. They turn down their energy, settle into a comfortable routine, procrastinate, diffuse their attention, and don’t take care of business.
Maladaptive Behavioral Schema: Perceiving the world as neglectful and indifferent, and feeling indolent about what matters most to them, NINES merge with the identities and agendas of others and forget about their own goals and desires. They lose themselves in the opinions, feelings, and aims of others. What others are thinking and pursuing become more compelling than what they want. Postponing decisions and actions, NINES let their life take its course or let life happen to them. They become inattentive and fall asleep to their deepest desires.
What is Avoided: Because they are trying to be settled, NINES avoid any kind of conflict. They don’t allow themselves to get too enthusiastic about anything important. They avoid differences and highlight sameness and agreement. It’s difficult enough for NINES to locate their own ideas, feelings, and ambitions, let alone to assert them and act on them. NINES avoid focusing, discriminating, and prioritizing. If everything is the same, it’s difficult to make a decision. At the same time any decision they make has equal merit or weight.
Defensive Maneuvers: NINES ward off conflictual impulses and situations by numbing themselves and those around them. This is called narcoticization. When NINES say it doesn’t matter, they are also implying they don’t matter and you don’t matter. One way to avoid disappointment is to lower or eliminate your expectations. Nothing can hurt you if you don’t let anything matter or get to you.
Childhood Development: NINES were the non-noticed children. They sensed their caretakers didn’t pay enough attention to them, had other more important things to do, or, perhaps, didn’t love them or care about them. Just as their caretakers neglected them, so NINES learned to neglect themselves. Instead of expressing themselves, they distracted themselves. Instead of feeling the pain of not being sufficiently cared for, they resigned themselves for the duration, numbed out, learned to not let things get to them, and assumed a laissez – faire attitude. NINES were the not noticed children.
Non-Resourceful State: When NINES are under stress, they become more resigned, more shut down, more asleep, and avoid their issues even more. They put off doing what needs to be done, engage themselves with inconsequential activities, daydream or sleep more. If that doesn’t work, they may become obsessive and compulsive about the work they’re doing. They may become overly responsible, dutiful, scrupulous, fearful, ruminative, and worrying. They doubt themselves and seek the affirmation of some outside authority.
Resourceful State: When NINES are in a resourceful relaxed state, they focus and differentiate instead of distracting themselves or merging and becoming confluent. They stay awake and are aware. They are prompt and act decisively. They don’t put off until tomorrow what they can do today. They express their own opinion, feeling, preference. They believe they are loved and cared for and start caring for themselves. They think of themselves as being successful, professional, efficient, and competent. They believe they do matter and their actions in the world make a difference. Unblocking their feelings, they let their own energy flow into action instead of living off of others’ energy. They assume an active stance, allowing their love to pass itself on through action. I am therefore I matter replaces I don’t matter, so what’s the big deal?