Enneagram Type 7, 2, 9- Can you be too Positive

The Tyranny of Relentless Positivity

When we ignore difficult emotions, they end up controlling us. Here’s how embracing emotional agility allows us to deal with the world as it is.

We are caught up in a rigid culture that values relentless positivity over emotional agility, true resilience, and thriving, says Susan David, Ph.D., a Psychologist on the faculty of Harvard Medical School and author of the book Emotional Agility. And when we push aside difficult emotions in order to embrace false positivity, we lose our capacity to develop deep skills to help us deal with the world as it is, not as we wish it to be. In this TED Talk, Dr. David explores why tough emotions are essential for living a life of true meaning and, yes, even happiness.

Susan David, Ph.D.: “In South Africa, where I come from, “sawubona” is the Zulu word for “hello.” There’s a beautiful and powerful intention behind the word because “sawubona” literally translated means, “I see you, and by seeing you, I bring you into being.” So beautiful, imagine being greeted like that. But what does it take in the way we see ourselves? Our thoughts, our emotions and our stories that help us to thrive in an increasingly complex and fraught world?

This crucial question has been at the center of my life’s work. Because how we deal with our inner world drives everything. Every aspect of how we love, how we live, how we parent and how we lead. The conventional view of emotions as good or bad, positive or negative, is rigid. And rigidity in the face of complexity is toxic. We need greater levels of emotional agility for true resilience and thriving.

The conventional view of emotions as good or bad, positive or negative, is rigid. And rigidity in the face of complexity is toxic.

My journey with this calling began not in the hallowed halls of a university, but in the messy, tender business of life. I grew up in the white suburbs of apartheid South Africa, a country and community committed to not seeing. To denial. It’s denial that makes 50 years of racist legislation possible while people convince themselves that they are doing nothing wrong. And yet, I first learned of the destructive power of denial at a personal level, before I understood what it was doing to the country of my birth.

My father died on a Friday. He was 42 years old and I was 15. My mother whispered to me to go and say goodbye to my father before I went to school. So I put my backpack down and walked the passage that ran through to where the heart of our home my father lay dying of cancer. His eyes were closed, but he knew I was there. In his presence, I had always felt seen. I told him I loved him, said goodbye and headed off for my day. At school, I drifted from science to mathematics to history to biology, as my father slipped from the world. From May to July to September to November, I went about with my usual smile. I didn’t drop a single grade. When asked how I was doing, I would shrug and say, “OK.” I was praised for being strong. I was the master of being OK.

But back home, we struggled—my father hadn’t been able to keep his small business going during his illness. And my mother, alone, was grieving the love of her life trying to raise three children, and the creditors were knocking. We felt, as a family, financially and emotionally ravaged. And I began to spiral down, isolated, fast. I started to use food to numb my pain. Binging and purging. Refusing to accept the full weight of my grief. No one knew, and in a culture that values relentless positivity, I thought that no one wanted to know.

Moving Beyond Emotional Rigidity

But one person did not buy into my story of triumph over grief. My eighth-grade English teacher fixed me with burning blue eyes as she handed out blank notebooks. She said, “Write what you’re feeling. Tell the truth. Write like nobody’s reading.” And just like that, I was invited to show up authentically to my grief and pain. It was a simple act but nothing short of a revolution for me. It was this revolution that started in this blank notebook 30 years ago that shaped my life’s work. The secret, silent correspondence with myself. Like a gymnast, I started to move beyond the rigidity of denial into what I’ve now come to call emotional agility.

Life’s beauty is inseparable from its fragility: We are young until we are not. We walk down the streets sexy until one day we realize that we are unseen. We nag our children and one day realize that there is silence where that child once was, now making his or her way in the world. We are healthy until a diagnosis brings us to our knees. The only certainty is uncertainty, and yet we are not navigating this frailty successfully or sustainably. The World Health Organization tells us that depression is now the single leading cause of disability globally—outstripping cancer, outstripping heart disease. And at a time of greater complexity, unprecedented technological, political and economic change, we are seeing how people’s tendency is more and more to lock down into rigid responses to their emotions.

On the one hand, we might obsessively brood on our feelings, getting stuck inside our heads, hooked on being right, or victimized by our news feed. On the other, we might bottle our emotions, pushing them aside and permitting only those emotions deemed legitimate.

In a survey I recently conducted with over 70,000 people, I found that a third of us—a third—either judge ourselves for having so-called “bad emotions,” like sadness, anger or even grief. Or actively try to push aside these feelings. We do this not only to ourselves, but also to people we love, like our children—we may inadvertently shame them out of emotions seen as negative, jump to a solution, and fail to help them to see these emotions as inherently valuable.

The Tyranny of Relentless Positivity

Normal, natural emotions are now seen as good or bad. And being positive has become a new form of moral correctness. People with cancer are automatically told to just stay positive. Women, to stop being so angry. And the list goes on. It’s a tyranny. It’s a tyranny of positivity. And it’s cruel. Unkind. And ineffective. And we do it to ourselves, and we do it to others.

If there’s one common feature of brooding, bottling, or false positivity, it’s this: they are all rigid responses. And if there’s a single lesson we can learn from the inevitable fall of apartheid, it is that rigid denial doesn’t work. It’s unsustainable.For individuals, for families, for societies.And as we watch the ice caps melt, it is unsustainable for our planet.

But when we push aside normal emotions to embrace false positivity, we lose our capacity to develop skills to deal with the world as it is, not as we wish it to be.

Research on emotional suppression shows that when emotions are pushed aside or ignored, they get stronger. Psychologists call this amplification. Like that delicious chocolate cake in the refrigerator, the more you try to ignore it, the greater its hold on you. You might think you’re in control of unwanted emotions when you ignore them, but in fact, they control you. Internal pain always comes out. Always. And who pays the price? We do. Our children, our colleagues, our communities.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not anti-happiness. I like being happy. I’m a pretty happy person. But when we push aside normal emotions to embrace false positivity, we lose our capacity to develop skills to deal with the world as it is, not as we wish it to be. I’ve had hundreds of people tell me what they don’t want to feel. They say things like, “I don’t want to try because I don’t want to feel disappointed.” Or, “I just want this feeling to go away.”

“I understand,” I say to them. “But you have dead people’s goals.” Only dead people never get unwanted or inconvenienced by their feelings.

Only dead people never get stressed, never get broken hearts, never experience the disappointment that comes with failure. Tough emotions are part of our contract with life. You don’t get to have a meaningful career or raise a family or leave the world a better place without stress and discomfort. Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.

So, how do we begin to dismantle rigidity and embrace emotional agility? As that young schoolgirl, when I leaned into those blank pages, I started to do away with feelings of what I should be experiencing. And instead started to open my heart to what I did feel. Pain. And grief. And loss. And regret.

How to Embrace Emotional Agility

Research now shows that the radical acceptance of all of our emotions—even the messy, difficult ones—is the cornerstone to resilience, thriving, and true, authentic happiness. But emotional agility is more than just an acceptance of emotions, we also know that accuracy matters. In my own research, I found that words are essential. We often use quick and easy labels to describe our feelings. “I’m stressed” is the most common one I hear. But there’s a world of difference between stress and disappointment or stress and that knowing-dread of “I’m in the wrong career.” When we label our emotions accurately, we are more able to discern the precise cause of our feelings. And what scientists call the “readiness potential” in our brain is activated, allowing us to take concrete steps. But not just any steps, the right steps for us. Because our emotions are data. Our emotions contain flashing lights to things that we care about.

We tend not to feel strong emotion to stuff that doesn’t mean anything in our worlds. If you feel rage when you read the news, that rage is a signpost, perhaps, that you value equity and fairness—and an opportunity to take active steps to shape your life in that direction. When we are open to the difficult emotions, we are able to generate responses that are values-aligned.

But there’s an important caveat. Emotions are data, they are not directives. We can show up to and mine our emotions for their values without needing to listen to them. Just like I can show up to my son in his frustration with his baby, but not endorse his idea that he gets to give her away to the first stranger he sees in a shopping mall.

We own our emotions, they don’t own us. When we internalize the difference between how I feel in all my wisdom, and what I do in a values-aligned action, we generate the pathway to our best selves via our emotions. So, what does this look like in practice?

  1. When you feel a strong, tough emotion, don’t race for the emotional exits. Learn its contours, show up to the journal of your hearts.
  2. What is the emotion telling you? And try not to say “I am,” as in, “I’m angry” or “I’m sad.” When you say “I am” it makes you sound as if you are the emotion. Whereas you are you, and the emotion is a data source. Instead, try to notice the feeling for what it is: “I’m noticing that I’m feeling sad” or “I’m noticing that I’m feeling angry.”

These are essential skills for us, our families, our communities. They’re also critical to the workplace.

In my research, when I looked at what helps people to bring the best of themselves to work, I found a powerful key contributor: individualized consideration. When people are allowed to feel their emotional truth, engagement, creativity, and innovation flourish in the organization. Diversity isn’t just people, it’s also what’s inside people, including diversity of emotion. The most agile, resilient individuals, teams, organizations, families, communities are built on an openness to the normal human emotions. It’s this that allows us to say, “What is my emotion telling me?” “Which action will bring me towards my values?” “Which will take me away from my values?” Emotional agility is the ability to be with your emotions with curiosity, compassion, and especially the courage to take values-connected steps.

Emotional agility is the ability to be with your emotions with curiosity, compassion, and especially the courage to take values-connected steps.

When I was little, I would wake up at night terrified by the idea of death. My father would comfort me with soft pats and kisses. But he would never lie. “We all die, Susie,” he would say.”It’s normal to be scared.” He didn’t try to invent a buffer between me and reality. It took me a while to understand the power of how he guided me through those nights. What he showed me is that courage is not an absence of fear; courage is fear walking. Neither of us knew that in 10 short years, he would be gone. And that time for each of us is all too precious and all too brief. But when our moment comes to face our fragility, in that ultimate time, it will ask us, “Are you agile?” “Are you agile?” Let the moment be an unreserved “yes.” A “yes” born of a lifelong correspondence with your own heart. And in seeing yourself. Because in seeing yourself, you are also able to see others, too: the only sustainable way forward in a fragile, beautiful world. Sawubona.”

Enneagram Childhood Wounds

Enneagram Childhood Wounds (A 3-point guide)

In this article, we will look at the childhood wounds of eatch enneagram type. This article also explores the covert messages each enneagram type received which influenced their personality.

Here are the Childhood Wounds of each Enneagram type:

  • Enneagram Type 1: Hypercriticism
  • Enneagram Type 2: People Pleasing and Self Sacrifice
  • Enneagram Type 3: Worthlessness
  • Enneagram Type 4: Abandonment Wound
  • Enneagram Type 5: Lack of Affection/ Intimacy
  • Enneagram Type 6: Lack of Safety
  • Enneagram Type 7: Lack of Nurturance
  • Enneagram Type 8: Lack of Vulnerability
  • Enneagram Type 9: Neglect

Enneagram Type 1: Hypercriticism

Enneagram One as children felt harshly criticized, punished, or inadequate. It’s possible that the household rules were incongruent. As a result, they grew preoccupied with being perfect and avoided making mistakes in order to escape being judged. “You should always strive to be better than you really are,” was the main theme.

Ones felt estranged from the protective figure in their lives as kids. Based on the circumstances of their house, this may have been the mother or the father. This can indicate that the parent they expected to be powerful and protective was instead hostile and abusive. It could also indicate that the parent was preoccupied, unreasonable, strict, or overly demanding.

In this way, Enneagram Type Ones who faced hypercriticism, grow up to become hypercritical of themselves.

Enneagram Type 2: Self Sacrifice and People Pleasing

These children only experienced love if they were serving or satisfying others; their own needs seemed selfish. As a consequence, they tuned in to others’ needs and wants rather than their own. Love came to be described as the act of giving to others, even when the love was not always returned.

Twos aspire to be needed by others. In a child, this may manifest as The Two helping younger siblings with domestic chores or taking on parental tasks to make their lives smoother while also earning their family’s respect and admiration. They believe that by being responsible and nurturing, they can eventually win the love which most children accept as normal.

Enneagram Type 3: Worthlessness

To the heart of the matter – These children believed that they were only recognized for what they did and how well they did it. Their feelings were dismissed and neglected; all that mattered was their accomplishment and what was demanded of them. Their capacity to love themselves and others was impaired as a result of this. Genuine love was replaced with admiration.

Threes suffered with the pestering thought that their genuine selves were unworthy or unimportant. They secretly feared that if people realised who they truly were, they would be rejected or abandoned. So they attempted to look perfect, smile pleasantly, and obtain awards or honors to deflect attention from their true selves.

Enneagram Type 4: Abandonment Wound

Fours as children felt abandoned by their caregivers. They felt isolated from the source of affection for reasons they couldn’t comprehend. They didn’t feel “seen” or heard, and they didn’t feel like their parents. As a response, to deal with abandonment, they retreated inward to their feelings and fantasies.

Fours desire to discover their identities because they believe it will relieve them of the feelings of sadness that have afflicted them their entire lives.

Many Fours fantasise about encountering someone who will fully accept them for who they truly are. They aspire to find that bond in a friend or romantic relationship because they felt so estranged from their family as children.

Enneagram Type 5: Lack of Affection/ Intimacy

Caregivers did not provide meaningful engagement, feelings, or love to these children. Alternatively, the child may have had a prying, overbearing parent who made them feel judged and powerless in the face of this intrusion. As a response, they erected barriers around themselves and withdrew into their imaginations.

Fives shut themselves off from the outer world and their family. They would often lock themselves up in their rooms, searching for a topic or field of expertise that would allow them to find a niche in their families or society. This was a one-of-a-kind field of expertise for them.

Enneagram Type 6: Lack of Safety

Sixes were reared in an unstable environment with no safe haven. They had lost hope that they would ever be safe. As a result, they resorted to their own internal defence of denying reality and dismissing their own instincts/inner direction.

In order to receive approval from guardian figures, the Six ignored their own inner self. They believe that with enough help, they might be able to feel comfortable and self-sufficient. They feel cut off from their own inner wisdom and in an endeavour to discover their “tribe,” they can be cordial or confrontational. They are obsessed with determining the “best” plan of action.

Enneagram Type 7: Lack of Nurturance

These children were either deprived of nurturing or had been taken away too soon. They dealt with this lack by looking for ways to divert themselves from the anxiety and sorrow. They chose to focus on good possibilities and depend on themselves to achieve their goals and feel nurtured.

Sevens learnt to cope with this by focusing on “transitional items,” or toys and hobbies that would fill the void inside. They acquired the subliminal message that they needed to take care of themselves because no one else could. As a result, they’d seek for distractions, hobbies, opportunities, and things that would pique their interest and keep them occupied.

Enneagram Type 8: Lack of Vulnerability

These children frequently grew up in dangerous emotional or physical settings and had to mature far too quickly. They may have felt restrained since they didn’t feel secure to display any sensitivity. Because their vulnerability was utilised against them, they concentrated solely on increasing their toughness.

They are often bold and adventurous children, and as a consequence, they were routinely punished. They decide to adopt an air of indifference and dogged determination in order to protect their mind from these recurrent punishments. They will dwell in continual fear of rejection and abandonment if they had an abusive upbringing in some manner.

Enneagram Type 9: Neglect

To the very core of their being., these children felt worthless or “lost” because they were forgotten or neglected. They were neglected or assaulted for having needs or asserting themselves (particularly anger), so they chose to stay under the radar and concentrate on the needs and problems of others.

Imagine a child wearing headphones and playing games while their parents fought in this other room. They fantasise about happier times, attempt to block out their anxieties and fear, and divert their attention away from their own emotions.

Nines have a tough time distinguishing their own feelings from those of others since they are so attached to the people they love. Instead of creating their own distinct identity, they are given a sense of belonging by their parents. It’s as though they’ve been strangled inside their own bodies. They learn to become numb to pain, reject their emotions, and fade into obscurity.

If you’re facing this, it may be a good idea to seek the help of a therapist or other mental health professional. You can find a therapist at BetterHelp who can help you learn how to cope and address it.

 

Wounding Messages of Each Enneagram Type

Wounding Messages of Each Enneagram Type

Learn the wounding messages of each enneagram type and discover which one you have lived your life believing in.

Wounding messages are the thoughts that we have constantly playing in the back of our mind.

Each and every single person will develop a wounding message (sometimes called childhood wounds). We develop these very early on in childhood and they become an inner voice that keeps us from being free.

These (untrue!) wounding messages of each enneagram type are things that we either actually heard or things we perceived to be true as children.

A Note on Wounding Messages for Parents
Please realize that while wounding messages of each enneagram are usually derived from our parents or significant care givers, they may not have actually been inflicted by that adult.

Sometimes it is because the parent put that wound on their child but often times the parent didn’t do anything wrong and the child was just sensitive to that message and perceived it to be true.

You could be a 100% perfect parent and your child will still develop a wounding message.

Your goal is only to try to set them up for success and to help them see early on that those wounding messages are inaccurate.

"it's not ok to make mistakes"

Type 1’s Wounding Message

For an enneagram 1, their wounding message is “It’s not ok to make mistakes.”

There are other variations of this message such as “It’s not ok to be wrong” or “It’s not ok to behave badly.”

Once you realize this wounding message, it’s easy to see how that has ingrained the type 1’s core desire and core fear.

For a 1 that core desire is to be good/right (aka no mistakes) and the core fear is being bad/wrong (making mistakes).

What type 1s long to hear is “You are good” (or you are good enough).
Hearing this and understanding this allows the 1 to have a weight lifted off of them.

"it's not ok to have your own needs" - Wounding Messages of Each Enneagram Type

Type 2’s Wounding Message

For an enneagram 2, their wounding message is “It’s not ok to to have your own needs.”

There are other variations of this message such as “It’s not ok to be a burden” or “It’s not ok to put your needs first.”

Once you realize this wounding message, it’s easy to see how that has ingrained the type 2’s core desire and core fear.

For a 2 that core desire is to be loved/wanted/needed (for who they are, not how they help) and the core fear is being unloved/unwanted/not needed.

What type 2s long to hear is “You are wanted and loved for just being you.”
Hearing this and understanding this allows the 2 to have a weight lifted off of them.

Type 3’s Wounding Message

For an enneagram 3, their wounding message is “It’s not ok to have your own feelings and identity.”

There are other variations of this message such as “It’s not ok to fail” or “It’s not ok to not work hard.”

Once you realize this wounding message, it’s easy to see how that has ingrained the type 3’s core desire and core fear.

For a 3 that core desire is to be valued/admired/successful and the core fear is being not valued/not admired/unsuccessful. They believe that if they have their own feelings or identity they will not be valued/admired.

What type 3s long to hear is “You are loved and valued for simply being you” (the real you; not the mask you wear).
Hearing this and understanding this allows the 3 to have a weight lifted off of them.

"it's not ok to be too much or not enough" - Wounding Messages of Each Enneagram Type

Type 4’s Wounding Message

For an enneagram 4, their wounding message is “It’s not ok to be too much or not enough.”

There are other variations of this message such as “It’s not ok to not fit in” or “It’s not ok to be so emotional.”

Once you realize this wounding message, it’s easy to see how that has ingrained the type 4’s core desire and core fear.

For a 4 that core desire is to be authentic/uniquely themselves/have their own unique identity (aka who they truly are) and the core fear is being inauthentic/not truly themselves/having not identity (fear having to blend in when that’s not who they are).

What type 4s long to hear is “You are seen and loved for who you are.”
Hearing this and understanding this allows the 4 to have a weight lifted off of them.

"it's not ok to be comfortable in the world"

Type 5’s Wounding Message

For an enneagram 5, their wounding message is “It’s not ok to be comfortable in the world.”

There are other variations of this message such as “You don’t have enough energy/skills to make it here” or “It’s not ok to let your guard down because you won’t be able to handle things competently.”

Once you realize this wounding message, it’s easy to see how that has ingrained the type 5’s core desire and core fear.

For a 5 that core desire is to be competent/capable/knowledgable (finding a way to be comfortable in the world) and the core fear is being incompetent/incapable (fearing their needs being a problem for others).

What type 5s long to hear is “Your needs are not a problem.”
Hearing this and understanding this allows the 5 to have a weight lifted off of them.

"it's not ok to trust yourself" - Wounding Messages of Each Enneagram Type

Type 6’s Wounding Message

For an enneagram 6, their wounding message is “It’s not ok to trust yourself.”

There are other variations of this message such as “You need to check in with others first” or “It’s not ok to rely on your gut.”

Special Note on 6’s:
6s are unique in that there are two ways a 6 will act out their wounding message (and core fear).
They will either be a phobic 6 in which they depend on authorities and trusted advisors (I can’t trust myself so I will trust in others) or they will be counterphobic and not trust those in authority or advising roles (I can’t trust myself so maybe it’s not actually scary and I should just get over my fear) (counterphobic 6s can look a bit like 8s)

Once you realize this wounding message, it’s easy to see how that has ingrained the type 6’s core desire and core fear.

For a 6 that core desire is to be secure/supported (their world can be scary since they can’t trust themselves) and the core fear is being without support/without security (without others, they fear they won’t be safe).

What type 6s long to hear is “You are safe and secure.”
Hearing this and understanding this allows the 6 to have a weight lifted off of them.

"it's not ok to depend on others for anything" wounding message of each enneagram type

Type 7’s Wounding Message

For an enneagram 7, their wounding message is “It’s not ok to depend on others for anything.”

There are other variations of this message such as “Nobody will take care of you” or “You need to do things for yourself.”

Once you realize this wounding message, it’s easy to see how that has ingrained the type 7’s core desire and core fear.

For a 7 that core desire is to be content/satisfied (not needing to depend on others) and the core fear is being deprived/trapped in emotional pain (fearing not being able to do/solve it for themselves).

What type 7s long to hear is “You will be taken care of.”
Hearing this and understanding this allows the 7 to have a weight lifted off of them.

"it's not ok to be vulnerable" wounding message 8

Type 8’s Wounding Message

For an enneagram 8, their wounding message is “It’s not ok to be vulnerable or to trust anyone.”

There are other variations of this message such as “It’s not ok to be weak” or “Don’t trust others, you’ll only get hurt.”

Once you realize this wounding message, it’s easy to see how that has ingrained the type 8’s core desire and core fear.

For a 8 that core desire is to be independent/autonomous/strong (no vulnerability) and the core fear is being controlled/harmed/manipulated (their vulnerability being broken).

What type 8s long to hear is “You will not be betrayed.”
Hearing this and understanding this allows the 8 to have a weight lifted off of them.

"it's not ok to assert yourself"

Type 9’s Wounding Message

For an enneagram 9, their wounding message is “It’s not ok to assert yourself.”

There are other variations of this message such as “The needs/feelings of others matters more than yours” or “It’s not ok to rock the boat.”

Once you realize this wounding message, it’s easy to see how that has ingrained the type 9’s core desire and core fear.

For a 9 that core desire is to be at peace/harmonious/connected to others (nobody is upset with the 9’s needs/opinions) and the core fear is separations/loss of connection (conflict from asserting themselves).

What type 9s long to hear is “Your presence matters.”
Hearing this and understanding this allows the 9 to have a weight lifted off of them.

Understanding the wounding messages of each enneagram type can help you break free from your own internal believes and it can help you understand and love others better since you know they carry their own wounding message.

 

Uncovering Your Common Childhood Wounds by Enneagram Type

Our personality is shaped by our childhood experiences. Our personality also shapes how we perceive our childhood while we are a child, and what we remember about it as an adult. If that seems like a mindbender, let me explain.

It is likely that we are born with our personality preferences already in place. It’s tricky to verify but as any mother knows, children emerge into the world with very different personalities.

Now imagine for a moment you are a very young child, somewhere between 6 months to 2 years old. And let’s say, to keep things very simple, you have nine core needs you are subconsciously asking your parents to meet. Your parents are imperfect humans, unable to know exactly what you want and need at every moment. And so, every parent will fail to fulfill every one of their child’s needs. Each failure will be psychologically painful for you as a child.

However, of those nine, you are hypersensitive to one need in particular going unmet. And you will be more strongly shaped by events and experiences that trigger psychic pain around the need you are extra sensitive to.

That also means you remember those events more clearly. They leave a more lasting impact on your psyche; they are memories you are more likely to revisit and events you are more likely to reenact throughout your life.

Which means that when you talk to people of different Enneagram types and ask them to describe their childhood, some common patterns start to emerge. While every childhood is different, and some are far more traumatic than others, our inborn personality type shapes how we see and experience the childhood we have no matter how good or bad.

Here is a brief overview of common elements from each type’s childhood. While you might recognize elements of your own childhood in these descriptions, you might also realize that everyone carries around pain from their childhood, even if it’s not obvious to the people around them.

Enneagram One

The One child was required to take on too much responsibility too soon. They were pressured to do something “correctly” or “perfectly” before they were ready, either physically or psychologically. For example, potty training before they were ready, or having to be the family spokesperson.

The One learnt not to trust or rely on their natural instincts. Instead they found that “being good” was defined by an external authority who regularly informed them they were doing something “the right way.”

To avoid being criticized and seen as “bad”, the One child internalized that critical voice and used it to self-monitor their behavior. They discovered that being “faultless” earned them positive reassurance and acceptance.

Enneagram Two

The Two child realized early on that to stay connected to the people they loved, they had to choose between their own needs and the other person’s needs. And they chose the other person.

The Two child may have had to take care of a caregiver, or were simply told they needed too much. Their caregivers may have been inexperienced or overwhelmed, failing to provide some basic aspects of love and care. While this could include all sorts of basic needs, Twos generally report that it was the early emotional needs they missed the most, like the need to feel recognized and loved unconditionally.

Twos recall repeatedly hearing the message that they were “too much,” “too sensitive” or “too emotional.” This reinforced their sense that their needs were overwhelming for others, so they suppressed their own needs and emotions to be liked.

Instead, they became experts at sensing others’ needs and working out how to meet them. As they grow, they gain approval and affection by being likable and selectively supporting the people they most want to reciprocate love and support in return.

Enneagram Three

Some Threes had well-intentioned parents who praised them for their accomplishments, for what they ‘did’ rather than for who they are.  Or they may have been part of a big family and did not receive the attention they needed. So they started performing, finding ways to stand out and get noticed, such as being the family comedian or opera singer.

Some Threes simply lacked parental support and protection. For example, if their father, or father figure, was absent, the Type Three child may have felt the need to step in and fill the gap left by that protective presence.

One way or another, the Three child learns that the path to love and appreciation is through doing and action. And so they become superhuman doers, achieving whatever goals they set for themselves and being impressive in the eyes of others.

Enneagram Four

All children are sensitive to loss. Yet when the Four child experiences actual or perceived loss of love early in life, they blame themselves for it.

It might be that another sibling came along, or another life event simply made the parent less available or completely unavailable. The Four child made sense of this abandonment or deprivation by convincing themselves they somehow caused this. By claiming this loss for themselves, it gave the Four child a way to control the situation.

While rarely true, having a sense of control allows the Four child to believe they can regain what was lost. Hence they strive to prove themselves worthy of love, showing people how special they are, all the while truly believing in their own inadequacy.

Enneagram Five

For whatever reason, the Five’s caregiver was somehow not responsive to their needs. And the Five child felt neglected. Not getting enough of what they needed led them to be self-sufficient, learning to get by on less by retreating into their heads and protecting their meager resources.

Other Fives experienced a sense of invasion or intrusion. Often, they had to deal with other people’s emotional drama or relationships that were too intense. They learnt to withdraw, either emotionally or physically, by detaching from feelings and people.

Fives sought refuge in the private space of their intellect, after they realized that they could not get their needs met through force or seduction. When relationships feel like a threat to their safety, retreating into their intellect seems like the only way to protect themselves.

Enneagram Six

The Six child had a problem with authority, and was often left feeling unprotected by the very person who was meant to protect them.  The caregiver may have been unpredictable, unreliable or undependable. For a long time life seemed dangerous on a daily basis, and so the Six concluded the world must be that way too.

An unpredictable caregiver might be an alcoholic, be violent, or have mental health challenges. Or, the Six child may have been raised by a parent who was overly strict with constantly shifting expectations or illogical punishments. Given the unpredictable nature of their environment, the Six child learnt to be constantly on the lookout for small cues that signaled the presence of danger or threat.

They became very skilled at anticipating what was going to happen next so they could be prepared for danger or challenges. Being able to predict when something scary or bad might happen was their way of staying safe and gave the Six child an inner sense of security.

Enneagram Seven

The Seven adult may remember their childhood as being quite rosy, fun or idyllic. But that’s how they want to remember it.

Many Sevens report an event in childhood that shook them out of their playful reverie; where they realized how ill-equipped to face the challenges of life they really were. And so they withdrew to an earlier stage of development where they felt more secure and in control.

For Sevens, this experience of safety comes in the form of positivity. They aim to only feel positive feelings and reframe any negatives in a good light.  They focus on whatever feels good to avoid suffering – whether from pain, negative feelings or any other dark experience.

Enneagram Eight

The Eight child had to grow up fast. To them, home was a battleground, where conflict or combat were necessary to survive. Perhaps because of violence, neglect or simply being the youngest or smallest child in a big family, the Eight child saw the need to adopt a tough persona.  Whether that was to be stronger, more powerful or protective of others, they let go of their innocence to get by in a world that did not provide love, care or protection to the weak.

The Eight child saw the world as divided into the weak and the strong, and vowed never to be powerless, vulnerable or alone ever again.

Enneagram Nine

The Nine child felt overlooked, not heard or not included. They may have been a middle or younger child and unable to get the attention they needed. Or a quiet voice whose opinion got lost in a sea of loud or forceful voices.

So they learnt to go along to get along, finding ways to blend in and avoid getting upset by wanting what others wanted. They learned to remain calm when what they wanted was dismissed, and simply allowed others to decide for them.

They became the easy going, friendly child who would accommodate the needs of the family, as a way to feel a sense of belonging or connectedness.

Summary

Here the Enneagram teaches us two things. One, that very few of us escape childhood without wounds that need healing. And two, that we need to have a lot of compassion for ourselves and others as we navigate life unconsciously reacting to the pain of childhood we all carry with us.

SAMANTHA MACKAY

Samantha Mackay is a certified Enneagram and leadership development coach who believes work should be energizing, not draining. She combines the Enneagram with her experience of recovering from burnout twice to help leaders and teams thrive during stressful times. Connect with Samantha at www.samanthamackay.com

Origins of the Enneagram

I was 24 years old when I walked into a bookstore in Los Gatos, California and bought my first book about the Enneagram. I had never heard of the personality system, but the symbol on the cover intrigued me.

The timing could not have been better. Just months before, I learned that my live-in boyfriend was stealing money from me. The Florida vacation, the fancy dinners, and the expensive gifts were all being funded by money heisted from my own bank account.

I may have stumbled across the Enneagram by accident, but it became the best tool to help me understand what had happened. This ancient personality system is like the Rosetta Stone of human nature. It gave me a context and translation for what was otherwise mystifying behavior.

Why would a person steal from his girlfriend to take her on a vacation? The Enneagram offered an explanation.

What is the Enneagram and where does it come from?

The Enneagram is a system of human personality that helps to explain why people behave the way they do. It suggests that your experience in life is dictated largely by where your attention goes. The system is complex, but in its simplest terms, it outlines nine distinct habits of attention and how they influence behavior.

The information the Enneagram offered me was tremendously valuable, but as I learned more, I became curious about its roots. Who invented it? Where did it come from?

I quickly discovered that – it’s complicated. The origins of the Enneagram can’t be summarized in a sentence or two. To learn the history of the Enneagram, you enter a world of sacred geometry, esoteric mystery schools, ancient Greece, and Sufi wisdom.

To unravel the mystery of the Enneagram, I needed a guide, so I spoke with Enneagram educator Stephanie Davis.

Davis has been working with the system for over 30 years. She’s been certified with Helen Palmer/David Daniels, Eli Jaxon-Bear, and Tom Condon, and she’s trained with Russ Hudson and Don Riso. If you don’t recognize those names, don’t worry – it’s enough to know that they’re a veritable ‘who’s who’ of the Enneagram community.

But perhaps most intriguing, Davis was a member of one of Claudio Naranjo’s Seekers After Truth (SAT) groups. These groups were the starting point from which the Enneagram leaked out to become available to a larger audience.

Davis got right to the point. “There are many layers in understanding the Enneagram. There is the symbol as a geometric shape – a circle, a triangle, and a hexad which is derived through sacred geometry, probably dating back to the Greek philosopher Pythagoras. But that’s just the symbol. No one was using the word “Enneagram” at that time.”

“In the 1900s, the Russian philosopher Gurdieff is the first person we know of who discussed movement and flow as part of the shape. It is not clear where he got this information, but we know he traveled extensively and studied in esoteric schools in the East. The symbol of the Enneagram is described as a schematic of perpetual motion, and I think of this as the ‘process Enneagram’.”

The Enneagram symbol – a universal map for any journey

If you’re familiar with Enneagram, you probably understand it as a personality assessment, much like the Myers and Briggs personality system or the Big Five. But aside from the nine types, there’s wisdom coming from the geometry and flow within the Enneagram symbol itself.

So much wisdom, in fact, that P.D. Oespensky, a Gurdieff scholar and author of In Search of the Miraculous declared that all knowledge can be included in the Enneagram. “For the man who is able to make use of it, the Enneagram makes books and libraries entirely unnecessary,” he wrote.

Davis offers a clearer explanation. “What he meant was that the Enneagram is a process map that you can lay different topics onto, and if you get the correct placement and flow of information on the symbol, you can have complete knowledge of the body of information. It’s profound when you really think about it.”

In other words, the Enneagram is both a noun and a verb. It’s a universal methodology you can apply to almost any body of knowledge.

When Enneagram met human psychology

What happened next is fascinating. Bolivian-born spiritual teacher Oscar Ichazo was introduced to Gurdieff’s concepts, including the dynamic Enneagram, in the 1950s. He studied with a diverse group who brought their knowledge of Zen Buddhism, Kabbalah and other Eastern philosophies to the Enneagram.

Independently, Ichazo had studied Sufism, Tibetan Buddhism, and Zoroastrianism, and may also have been influenced by early Christian teachings. His knowledge base was vast.

“It was Ichazo who decided to lay the topic of human psychology onto the process map of the Enneagram,” Davis explains. “He developed the “Enneagram of Personality” which is what most of us think of when we hear the word ‘Enneagram.’”

“However, he didn’t focus on personality profiles as much as passions, virtues, and ego development. And it is important to remember that the use of Enneagram was just a small part of what Ichazo was teaching in his Arica school in Chile.”

Putting meat on the Enneagram’s bones

From the deserts of the Far East to the hills of Chile, the roots of the Enneagram were already proving to be deep and expansive.

Our next stop is the San Francisco Bay Area, where Ichazo’s student Claudio Naranjo taught as early as the 1970s. Davis was a member of one of his subsequent SAT groups, so I was eager to hear about her experience with him.

“Those SAT groups were intense! Naranjo didn’t teach the Enneagram directly–he never said “here’s an Enneagram seminar.” He used the Enneagram as a tool for his broader teachings. He would break us into type groups a lot and use the system that way as we mined our shadow side and things like that.

Naranjo, a trained psychiatrist, learned about the Enneagram from Ichazo.

“He put meat on the bones of the framework. If Ichazo is the father of the Enneagram, Naranjo is the mother. Ichazo planted the seed and Naranjo birthed, if you will, the psychological descriptions of the nine types. Based on his own training, his influences, and his experience, he fleshed out the nine personality styles and then the 27 subtype descriptions,” Davis explains.

From here, I knew the story well, as it is part of Enneagram lore. Naranjo’s small, exclusive SAT groups from the 1970s, much like the one Stephanie was in later, were supposed to keep the information secret.

But the secret leaked out, and more and more people began learning about the Enneagram – but the paths went in a few different directions.

Different lineages, same landing place

One place the Enneagram went is to the Jesuit community. Robert Ochs, a Jesuit, learned about the Enneagram from Ichazo and Naranjo’s work. He spread the information and, by the late 1980s, the Enneagram had become entrenched within the Jesuit community.  Don Riso, a Jesuit seminarian, got the bare-bones notes and spent years in independent research and study, exploring how to apply the skeleton frame to more practical applications.

In 1987, Riso published a book, Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery. This is the first of many books he authored on the Enneagram – and the book I picked up in the Los Gatos bookstore.

A year later, in 1988, Helen Palmer, an intuition teacher studying the work of Naranjo, published The Enneagram: Understanding Yourself and Others in Your Life. Palmer’s work is part of the ‘Narrative Tradition’ lineage of the Enneagram. Davis explains what that means. “Helen applied Naranjo’s concepts to the narrative style she used in her intuition training to develop a more narrative-focused Enneagram. This was based on people sharing their experience to illustrate their Enneagram type.”

Impressively, while both the Jesuit lineage and the Narrative Tradition lineage had different development paths, they landed in much the same place when it came to describing a high-level overview of the nine personality types.

Enneagram in the 21st century

In 2013, Beatrice Chestnut wrote the highly influential book The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge. This book uses the teachings of Naranjo and gives us the first published descriptions, in detail, of the 27 subtype personality profiles.

I asked Chestnut about what inspired her to write The Complete Enneagram.

“I never set out to study the subtypes, but in 2004 when Claudio Naranjo presented on the topic at the International Enneagram Conference, I was really surprised by the way he described the 27 personality profiles. He added so much more detail and information to what I had heard described before.”

“Naranjo and his associates at that conference helped me see that I was a self-preservation Type 2, which I never knew before. This was tremendously useful information – it was like I got a whole new angle into my own mind. When I learned my subtype, I went on a mission to learn everything I could about Naranjo’s approach.  I wanted everyone to have access to this subtype teaching because it helped me so much. I’m a researcher, so I pointed my analytical skills at finding and analyzing every piece of information I could find that Naranjo had said or written about the subtypes. This was the basis for my book.”

In the end, what did the Enneagram teach me about my boyfriend?

It turns out, many things. As I studied the system, I learned about wingsarrowssubtypes and more. Eventually I found the Enneagram levels of development, the high and low side of each of the nine habits of attention. During this study, I found my boyfriend.

He was likely a very unhealthy Type 3 Achiever, obsessively focused on image and playing a role. He wanted to look like the “perfect boyfriend”: someone who would buy his girlfriend a Dalmatian puppy, take her to Disney World and treat her to nice dinners. The fact he didn’t have the money to do that became part of the web of deceit that unhealthy Type 3s can build.

The Enneagram offered me a path to healing, as it has for many others. Perhaps this is why the fact there is no clear answer to where the Enneagram came from has never bothered me.

What’s more exciting is the future. As Helen Palmer wrote in the foreword to Ginger Lapid-Bogda’s book Bringing Out the Best in Yourself at Work, “The Enneagram is arguably the oldest human development system on the planet, and like all authentic maps of consciousness, it finds new life in the conceptual world of each succeeding generation.”

Its roots may be mysterious, but the Enneagram seems to have its moment for every generation. And that means we can look forward to many new spins on this fascinating – and ancient – personality system.

Now you know the roots of this fascinating personality system, why not try it out for yourself? Take the Enneagram test here to discover your type in minutes, and gain valuable insights for life.

Lynn Roulo is an Enneagram instructor and Kundalini Yoga teacher who teaches a unique combination of the two systems, combining the physical benefits of Kundalini Yoga with the psychological growth tools of the Enneagram. She has written two books combining the two systems. Headstart for Happiness, her first book is an introduction to the systems. The Nine Keys, her second book, focuses on the two systems in intimate relationships. Learn more about Lynn and her work here at LynnRoulo.com.

Quotes for Each of the 9 Enneagram Types

As humans, we love to classify things; it’s our way of understanding the world in manageable pieces. When it comes to people, we really love to categorize individuals into personality types so that we can better understand how they tick and how to interact with them.

Hence, the Enneagram personality model, which was introduced to the modern world by philosopher and teacher George Gurdjieff in 1915. (Its roots date back even earlier, though the exact origins are disputed.)

The term “Enneagram” stems from the Greek words ennéa, meaning “nine,” and grámma, meaning “written” or “drawn.” The model is based around a collection of nine different but interconnected personality types. The Enneagram theory discerns between a “healthy” and “unhealthy” version of each type, with a wide spectrum in between offering a path to self-improvement.

In modern times, the Enneagram is often used in business, leadership, and spiritual settings to help people gain a better understanding of their own strengths and weaknesses. Generally speaking, though, it is not widely accepted as an actual scientific “diagnosis.” Rather, it’s a self-help tool that can be used as a jumping-off point for exploration, inspiring us to think more deeply about ourselves and our relationships with others.

Though many different names are attributed to each of the nine personality types, for purposes of consistency, we will use the names given to each type by The Enneagram Institute: The Reformer, The Helper, The Achiever, The Individualist, The Investigator, The Loyalist, The Enthusiast, The Challenger, and The Peacemaker. Below, we’ve compiled some meaningful quotes that touch upon key traits for each type.

 

TYPE ONE: THE REFORMER

The most dangerous way we sabotage ourselves is by waiting for the perfect moment to begin. Nothing works perfectly the first time, or the first 50 times. Everything has a learning curve. The beginning is just that — a beginning. Surrender your desire to do it flawlessly on the first try. It’s not possible. Learn to learn. Learn to fail. Learn to learn from failing. And begin today. Begin now. Stop waiting.

Vironika Tugaleva

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Enneagram Type 1 is perhaps also known as “the Perfectionist.” Those who fall into this Enneagram type tend to have lofty goals and strict moral codes that help guide their decision-making and ambitions. They also often have a deep sense of moral obligation to be the best person they can be in order to serve others — For instance, examples of well-known Enneagram Type 1s include Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, and Michelle Obama.

An issue many Type 1s face is being their own worst critic and constantly trying to be seen as the responsible or reliable one of a group, even as they have roiling emotions and passions they’re trying to tamp down. One important thing for Type 1s to remember, then, is that not everything has to be perfect all the time, and it’s OK to allow room for mistakes and setbacks.

 

TYPE TWO: THE HELPER

Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty.

Albert Einstein

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When it comes to Enneagram Type 2s, life begins and ends with love: love for family, for friends, and for strangers. Compassion and generosity are at the root of a Type 2’s decision-making, and help guide the relationships they build throughout their lives. A Type 2 thrives when serving others, with the tiny caveat that they oftentimes want others to acknowledge their selflessness, too.

Enneagram Type 2 individuals are warm in part because they care a lot about people, and in part because they crave the feeling of being needed; their sense of self is very much tied to others’ gratitude and approval. Famous individuals who are Enneagram Type 2s include Stevie Wonder, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Desmond Tutu.

 

TYPE THREE: THE ACHIEVER

Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from.

Seth Godin

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There is no task too large for the Enneagram Type 3. Individuals who identify most strongly with this type tend to be goal-oriented, charismatic, driven, and accomplished from an early age. They often have magnetic personalities and lean heavily on others’ perceptions of them as role models to dictate who they want to be. As a result, however, they can get lost in a blur of constant doing instead of just being.

Enneagram Type 3s are sometimes characterized as workaholics or overachievers who want to impress their peers, even at the expense of their own health and well-being. Examples of famous Type 3s include Truman Capote, Will Smith, and Ryan Seacrest, all of whom were/are known for their busy social calendars and many achievements.

 

TYPE FOUR: THE INDIVIDUALIST

Let everything happen to you. Beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.

Rainer Maria Rilke

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Those who identify with Enneagram Type 4, otherwise known as “the Romantic,” are creative spirits to the bone. They are highly sensitive, self-aware, and emotionally honest, sometimes to a fault — a problem some Enneagram Type 4 individuals have is wallowing in self pity or constantly feeling like an outsider looking in.

But it should be noted that Enneagram Type 4s’ individuality is also their biggest asset: They love being surrounded by beautiful things, and very much prize creation over consumption. Case in point: Famous Enneagram Type 4s include Stevie Nicks, Miles Davis, Virginia Wolfe, and Frida Kahlo. Type 4s are also particularly well-equipped to handle grief, which makes sense, given how much creativity can arise from sadness.

 

TYPE FIVE: THE INVESTIGATOR

Do stuff. Be clenched, curious. Not waiting for inspiration’s shove or society’s kiss on your forehead. Pay attention. It’s all about paying attention. Attention is vitality. It connects you with others. It makes you eager. Stay eager.

Susan Sontag

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Of the nine Enneagram types, those who are Type 5 are perhaps most driven by the pursuit of knowledge. Individuals who most strongly identify with this type aren’t satisfied with the status quo, and always want to know why something is the way it is, digging deep into the scaffolding of society to find answers for their many questions.

Type 5s are innovative and have the potential to be true visionaries — famous individuals include Albert Einstein, Jane Goodall, Mark Zuckerberg, and Georgia O’Keeffe. The proclivity for eccentricity runs so rampant among Type 5s, in fact, that they often reject easy answers to their queries, preferring to be challenged intellectually with more complex solutions. As a result, they are insatiably curious, and spend much of their life gathering knowledge.

 

TYPE SIX: THE LOYALIST

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

Oprah Winfrey

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Enneagram Type 6 individuals are all about planning ahead, especially when it comes to social situations. Alert, perceptive, and responsible, Type 6s want to do the most to avoid being caught off-guard, and this includes surrounding themselves with loyal, loving friends and family.

Safety and security are huge motivators for those who are a Type 6, and this manifests itself in a certain kind of “hunkering down” when it comes to ideas, lifestyle choices, and beliefs. Well-known Type 6s include Spike Lee, Marilyn Monroe, Jennifer Aniston, and Mike Tyson. Type 6’s relationships very much revolve around trust and guidance, but once earned, that individual will be a loyal friend for life.

 

TYPE SEVEN: THE ENTHUSIAST

The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.

Eleanor Roosevelt

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There is so much to love about life when you’re an Enneagram Type 7. Ruled by optimism, ideas, and spontaneity, Type 7s are very carpe diem about the brief time we all have on this earth, and they want to maximize their experiences in every sense of the word.

Type 7s are impulsive and enthusiastic, and their excitement for life is infectious. They feel most alive when they’re in pursuit of a new idea or spearheading a new project, but as a result, they often need constant mental stimulation, and the less endearing reality is that their pursuit of novelty may be an exhausting, never-ending one. Famous Type 7s include Joe Biden, Britney Spears, Robin Williams, and Amelia Earhart.

 

TYPE EIGHT: THE CHALLENGER

With confidence, you have won before you have started.

Marcus Garvey

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If Enneagram Type 8 individuals were a horoscope sign, they would undoubtedly be Leos: confident, assertive, and fierce. Those who identify most with Type 8 are natural leaders, and are unafraid to speak their mind in defense of their beliefs. They are protective of those closest to them as well, and prize independence and endurance.

With their natural leadership skills, Enneagram Type 8s are able to influence others easily, and often choose careers as politicians, lawyers, public speakers, and other forms of changemakers. Kamala Harris, Toni Morrison, Ernest Hemingway, and Clint Eastwood are all Type 8s. One of Type 8’s weaknesses, however, is never wanting to show weakness or vulnerability, which can ultimately lead to feelings of frustration and being misunderstood.

 

TYPE NINE: THE PEACEMAKER

Don’t hope that events will turn out the way you want, welcome events in whichever way they happen: this is the path to peace.

Epictetus

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Of all the nine Enneagram types, Type 9 individuals are perhaps the most spiritual. Driven by peace — both within themselves and with those around them — Type 9s are averse to conflict and therefore have a more go-with-the-flow attitude. This is not to say, however, that Type 9s are pushovers. They can also be very stubborn, and will push back if provoked, though oftentimes in a passive-aggressive manner.

Individuals who identify with this type make great mediators, but often have to work to prioritize their own boundaries and beliefs over stronger personality types. Famous Type 9s include Carl Jung, Audrey Hepburn, and Gloria Steinem.

About the Author
Joyce Chen
Joyce Chen is a writer, editor, and community builder based in Seattle, Washington.

 

Foundation of Enneagram – R Hudson & J Dibbs

Here are just a few highlights from this insightful audio session with Russ:

  • (6:30) — Meaning of Enneagram Symbol
  • (7:57) — Russ’ introduction to the Enneagram
  • (12:32) — Mystical traditions from around the world
  • (15:28) — The Law of 3
  • (16:00) — Systems of 9
  • (19:50) — Desert Fathers and ancient Egypt
  • (21:47) — Meditation and art of presence
  • (22:51) — The Passions
  • (25:20) — The synthesis of the modern Enneagram

https://youtu.be/MowhgwPPXh4

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Enneagram: Moving Up the Levels of Development

 

 

Enneagram Levels of Development

In my early Enneagram training with Don Riso and Russ Hudson, I learned about Levels of Development within each of the nine Enneagram types. The discovery of the Levels was one of Don’s major contributions to Enneagram theory. Although he named this teaching the Levels of Development, later he agreed that it more accurately describes Levels of Functioning. Descending from Healthy to Average to Unhealthy attitudes and behavior, each Level is characterized by the degree to which a person is aligned with Presence.

Enneagram: Levels of Functioning and the Anchor Point

Enneagram LevelsLevel One at the top of the list is the Level of Spiritual Liberation, in which a person is fully identified as Presence and is no longer bound by ego. Level Nine, the lowest, is the state in which a person is most constricted and least in contact with Presence. Within the Levels each person has an anchor point, the set point to which the ego returns after the fluctuations of everyday living.  Driven by our Basic Fears, the anchor point progressively descends to the lower levels of functioning. The lower the anchor point, the more we are caught in the fixation of our type. By doing our inner work and learning to contact Presence, we move the anchor point to higher levels of functioning.

The model of Levels of Functioning describes how the ego is driven down the levels because of Fears and Desires. However, by definition, development involves addressing the tasks of one stage then moving to the next stage, building on the strength and skills already attained.  Think of the developmental stages in infancy and early childhood. Development, then, implies moving up the Levels, beginning at the lowest level in infancy. In my opinion, the movement up the levels proceeds naturally to about Level Five – if the child receives good parenting and is not subjected to trauma. We might call Level Five “normal” in terms of ego development.

What Normal Means

Enneagram bell curveNormal falls in the center of a bell-shaped curve that marks the levels of development. A bell-shaped curve is a statistical image used to convey the probability of distribution of a characteristic. If Level Five is a normal placement for the anchor point (that is, the level at which most people function most of the time, returning to that level again and again as they adjust to the daily events of their lives), then having an anchor point at either Levels Four or Six would represent one standard deviation from the midpoint of normal.

Statistically, based on the bell-shaped curve, we would expect 68% of the population to have their anchor point at Levels Four, Five or Six. Add another standard deviation in each direction away from the midpoint at Level Five and we include Levels Seven and Three. This accounts for 95% of the population. The remaining 5% would be distributed at either tail of the curve, so Levels Two and One account for half of that, or 2.5%, while Levels Eight and Nine account for the other half or the remaining 2.5%

Enneagram and Early Levels of Development

The developmental model of the Levels in the Enneagram begins with infancy.

Level Nine

In my model, using a developmental perspective with the Levels within the Enneagram, everyone begins life at Level Nine. In early infancy babies are totally out of touch with collective reality. They are completely engrossed in their inner experience, mostly with primal somatic sensations like hunger and satiety, warmth and cold, wet and dry.

Infants are completely helpless and dependent upon others for the care they need to survive. They are absorbed in finding comfort and pleasure, and in relieving discomfort. Despite their delightful innocence and sweetness, babies are demanding and without refined emotions such as empathy. They have no compassionate consideration of how Mommy is feeling or a willingness to postpone the satisfaction of their own needs in deference to others.

In short, infants behave very much like people with severe psychosis or autism. This is completely normal for an infant. For an adult, this is extremely unhealthy and is descriptive of severe psychopathology, autism, and developmental disabilities.

Level Eight

At Level Eight, from a developmental perspective, very young children begin to differentiate self from other. Initially the behavior at this level is repetitive and ritualized. Who hasn’t played the same game over and over to a toddler’s complete delight? In adults this would be considered compulsive behavior, but developmentally it functions as the means for learning through repetition. This is also the stage of delusion or magical thinking and in young children it is endearing. We encourage it in the form of Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and talking animals. In adults, however, delusional thinking and compulsive behavior is characteristic of significant anxiety and addiction. As unhealthy adult behavior, it is dysfunctional and usually destructive to the individual and to others.

Level Seven

As children develop a stronger sense of self and become more assertive, they often become demanding and grabby. In Riso and Hudson’s description of the Levels of Functioning, Level Seven was defined as the level of Violation of Self and Others. In adults it is a psychopathological adaptation but it is perfectly normal for a three-year-old. Screaming, hitting, and biting may be ways a child expresses frustration and attempts to use physical power to get what she wants. With growing cognitive abilities, these aggressive methods are eventually replaced as parents and pre-school teachers emphasize learning to “use your words.”

In adults at Level Seven, aggression may be a way of life, relying on continual physical and verbal violence to try to be safe and get needs met in a world that feels threatening.

Average Levels of Development

Level Six

Level Six is the point at which children begin learning to use words instead of fists. In adults this is a low-average way of communicating a person’s wants and feelings. In Riso and Hudson’s language of diminishing Presence, this is the stage of making demands to meet the ego’s agenda. For the growing child, the ability to conceptualize and articulate its needs and wants is the developmental task. This is the stage of establishing boundaries and learning to manage relationships. Usually children feel affiliations with the group with which they identify – a sense of “us-and-them.” In adults this level is characterized by authoritarian processes to preserve stability by reliance on rules and expressing one’s sense of presumed autonomy by breaking them.

Level Five

At Level Five our reasoning skills open up the capacity for problem-solving. We begin to see life as a series of problems to solve. It is the level of Interpersonal Conflict as we engage with others to compete for whose ego agenda will win. This is considered average or normal in the contemporary American culture. While specific situations or events may inspire us to experience higher levels from time to time, or push us down a level or two under stress, average people tend to return to Level Five as their anchor point. Problem solving skills are developed by ages 11-12. But in terms of spiritual maturity, many people are encouraged by the culture to remain here.

Moving up the levels now requires self-awareness, reflection, and discipline. This corresponds with achievement-orientation, individualism, and autonomy-seeking.

Level Four

With further self-awareness and reflection, at Level Four the personality begins to aspire to a life in which we can live out our ego agendas. We dream of getting the Inner Critic off our backs by fulfilling what the personality believes it should be. Many people reach this level and believe they have arrived at realization and enlightenment. In fact, what we have is a bright shiny ego (to use Russ Hudson’s term) that is fulfilling its Ego Ideal. This corresponds with egalitarian organizations as well as experiential and consensual processes.

Higher Levels of Development

Level Three

By the time the anchor point has reached Level Three, we have been undertaking a spiritual journey in earnest. Through reading, meditation, and guidance or teaching, we discover that we are part of something larger than ourselves and a life purpose becomes increasingly clear. At Level Three, we recognize every day that we are an expression of Being or Essence or God, so that what we do in the world and in our lives is the expression of our part in creation. We begin to appreciate that this is true for every other person as well. We feel attuned to Presence in our daily lives.

“What could be better than that?” we ask ourselves.

Level Two

As we live our life’s purpose, we discover that we are increasingly drawn to Be rather than to Do. Curiously, Level Two requires engaging in some of our most challenging spiritual work, which is embracing the Shadow and resolving dualities. Being present as a unique self, increasingly aware of our connection with Essence, we begin to consistently recognize and embrace those aspects of ourselves that have been ignored and denied. A.H. Almaas calls this “clarifying the personality” or making it clear and flexible, able to be alive in the world and have work and relationships. In addition, we become receptive to Essential qualities as they arise on an ongoing basis. We radiate these qualities and build ways of daily living around them.

Level One

The ultimate reward for this difficult and challenging work is Liberation at Level One. We have faced our deepest fears and are now truly free. We are Essence-infused, living moment by moment, no longer identified with personality while able to live in the world of personalities. The Enneagram helps us identify our fears as they arise as part of the illusion of separation from Being. We discover that enlightenment is not complete happiness, total bliss, or total freedom. It is rather a state of being in which we have the capacity to experience our lives in the Now, to live in love with Truth.

We break out of the paradigm of always seeking to feel better. Life will actually be better but not as we planned. We are living in the paradox of being unique individuals – bundles of body, emotion and thought – and at the same time living as conscious points of awareness as the Oneness of Being.

Living in the Higher Levels of Development

Many of you have had living direct experiences in Levels Three, Two and One. Realistically there are very few people in the world who live at Levels Two and One. About 2.5% of the population as we discovered in our exploration of the bell-shaped curve of distribution.

Moving up the Levels of Development, we move from living with the Ego Ideal at Level Four to ascending gradually to Liberation at Level One. Each movement up the developmental levels requires additional intention and undertaking of a spiritual path or practice, as we begin to let go of our carefully constructed ego identification.

The brilliance of Riso and Hudson’s model of the Levels is that it works moving up from infancy as a developmental model as well as moving down from Liberation as a means of tracking the effect of Basic Fear. The Levels can help us recognize the impact of Presence in our lives and support our practices for opening our identification with Presence until we discover that it is truly what we are.

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