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Don Riso on Enneagram 8


8
THE CHALLENGER
Enneagram Type Eight

The Powerful, Dominating Type:
Self-Confident, Decisive, Willful, and Confrontational


Type Eight in Brief

Eights are self-confident, strong, and assertive. Protective, resourceful, straight-talking, and decisive, but can also be ego-centric and domineering. Eights feel they must control their environment, especially people, sometimes becoming confrontational and intimidating. Eights typically have problems with their tempers and with allowing themselves to be vulnerable. At their Best: self- mastering, they use their strength to improve others’ lives, becoming heroic, magnanimous, and inspiring.

  • Basic Fear: Of being harmed or controlled by others
  • Basic Desire: To protect themselves (to be in control of their own life
    and destiny)
  • Enneagram Eight with a Seven-Wing: “The Maverick”
  • Enneagram Eight with a Nine-Wing: “The Bear”

Key Motivations: Want to be self-reliant, to prove their strength and resist weakness, to be important in their world, to dominate the environment, and to stay in control of their situation.

The Meaning of the Arrows (in brief)

When moving in their Direction of Disintegration (stress), self-confident Eights suddenly become secretive and fearful at Five. However, when moving in their Direction of Integration (growth), lustful, controlling Eights become more open-hearted and caring, like healthy TwosLearn more about the arrows.

Examples: G.I. Gurdjieff, Richard Wagner, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Winston Churchill, Oskar Schindler, Fidel Castro, Martin Luther King, Jr., Lyndon Johnson, Mikhail Gorbachev, Golda Meir, Indira Gandhi, Saddam Hussein, Senator John McCain, Donald Trump, Pablo Picasso, Ernest Hemingway, Norman Mailer, Toni Morrison, Serena Williams, James Brown, Aretha Franklin, Keith Richards, Queen Latifah, Courtney Love, Jack Black, Chrissie Hynde, Pink, John Wayne, Frank Sinatra, Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, Bette Davis, Mae West, Sean Connery, Paul Newman, Clint Eastwood, Tommy Lee Jones, Jack Nicholson, Susan Sarandon, Russell Crowe, Sean Penn, Harvey Keitel, Matt Damon, Alec Baldwin, Roseanne Barr, Barbara Walters, Rosie O’Donnell, “Dr. Phil” McGraw, “Tony Soprano”


Type Eight Overview

We have named personality type Eight The Challenger because, of all the types, Eights enjoy taking on challenges themselves as well as giving others opportunities that challenge them to exceed themselves in some way. Eights are charismatic and have the physical and psychological capacities to persuade others to follow them into all kinds of endeavors—from starting a company, to rebuilding a city, to running a household, to waging war, to making peace.

Eights have enormous willpower and vitality, and they feel most alive when they are exercising these capacities in the world. They use their abundant energy to effect changes in their environment—to “leave their mark” on it—but also to keep the environment, and especially other people, from hurting them and those they care about. At an early age, Eights understand that this requires strength, will, persistence, and endurance—qualities that they develop in themselves and which they look for in others.

Thayer is a stockbroker who has worked intensively on understanding her type Eight personality. She recounts a childhood incident in which she could clearly see the development of this pattern.

“Much of my tenacity and toughness comes from my Dad. He always told me not to ‘let anybody push you around.’ It was not okay to cry. I learned to master my weaker side early on. At the tender age of eight, a huge horse ran away with me. When an adult caught the horse, I resolutely dismounted without a tear. I could tell my father was proud.”

Eights do not want to be controlled or to allow others to have power over them (their Basic Fear), whether the power is psychological, sexual, social, or financial. Much of their behavior is involved with making sure that they retain and increase whatever power they have for as long as possible. An Eight may be a general or a gardener, a small businessman or a mogul, the mother of a family or the superior of a religious community. No matter: being “in charge” and leaving their imprint on their sphere is uniquely characteristic of them.

Eights are the true “rugged individualists” of the Enneagram. More than any other type, they stand alone. They want to be independent, and resist being indebted to anyone. They often refuse to “give in” to social convention, and they can defy fear, shame, and concern about the consequences of their actions. Although they are usually aware of what people think of them, they do not let the opinions of others sway them. They go about their business with a steely determination that can be awe inspiring, even intimidating to others.

Although, to some extent, Eights fear physical harm, far more important is their fear of being disempowered or controlled in some way. Eights are extraordinarily tough and can absorb a great deal of physical punishment without complaint—a double-edged blessing since they often take their health and stamina for granted and overlook the health and well-being of others as well. Yet they are desperately afraid of being hurt emotionally and will use their physical strength to protect their feelings and keep others at a safe emotional distance. Beneath the tough façade is vulnerability, although it has been covered over by layer of emotional armor.

Thus, Eights are often extremely industrious, but at the price of losing emotional contact with many of the people in their lives. Those close to them may become increasingly dissatisfied with this state of affairs, which confounds Eights. (“I don’t understand what my family is complaining about. I bust my hump to provide for them. Why are they disappointed with me?”)

When this happens, Eights feel misunderstood and may distance themselves further. In fact, beneath their imposing exterior, Eights often feel hurt and rejected, although this is something they seldom talk about because they have trouble admitting their vulnerability to themselves, let alone to anyone else. Because they fear that they will be rejected (divorced, humiliated, criticized, fired, or harmed in some way), Eights attempt to defend themselves by rejecting others first. The result is that average Eights become blocked in their ability to connect with people or to love since love gives the other power over them, reawakening their Basic Fear.

The more Eights build up their egos in order to protect themselves, the more sensitive they become to any real or imaginary slight to their self-respect, authority, or preeminence. The more they attempt to make themselves impervious to hurt or pain (whether physical or emotional), the more they “shut down” emotionally to become hardened and rock-like.

When Eights are emotionally healthy, however, they have a resourceful, “can-do” attitude as well as a steady inner drive. They take the initiative and make things happen with a great passion for life. They are honorable and authoritative—natural leaders who have a solid, commanding presence. Their groundedness gives them abundant “common sense” as well as the ability to be decisive. Eights are willing to “take the heat,” knowing that any decision cannot please everyone. But as much as possible, they want to look after the interests of the people in their charge without playing favorites. They use their talents and fortitude to construct a better world for everyone in their lives.

(from The Wisdom of the Enneagram, p. 289-291)


Listen: Don Riso Discusses Type Eight

Individual Type Audio Recording for Type Eight (excerpt)
Don Riso
4:04 5:22

Type Eight—Levels of Development

Healthy Levels

Level 1 (At Their Best): Become self-restrained and magnanimous, merciful and forbearing, mastering self through their self-surrender to a higher authority. Courageous, willing to put self in serious jeopardy to achieve their vision and have a lasting influence. May achieve true heroism and historical greatness.

Level 2: Self-assertive, self-confident, and strong: have learned to stand up for what they need and want. A resourceful, “can do” attitude and passionate inner drive.

Level 3: Decisive, authoritative, and commanding: the natural leader others look up to. Take initiative, make things happen: champion people, provider, protective, and honorable, carrying others with their strength.

Average Levels

Level 4: Self-sufficiency, financial independence, and having enough resources are important concerns: become enterprising, pragmatic, “rugged individualists,” wheeler-dealers. Risk-taking, hardworking, denying own emotional needs.

Level 5: Begin to dominate their environment, including others: want to feel that others are behind them, supporting their efforts. Swaggering, boastful, forceful, and expansive: the “boss” whose word is law. Proud, egocentric, want to impose their will and vision on everything, not seeing others as equals or treating them with respect.

Level 6: Become highly combative and intimidating to get their way: confrontational, belligerent, creating adversarial relationships. Everything a test of wills, and they will not back down. Use threats and reprisals to get obedience from others, to keep others off balance and insecure. However, unjust treatment makes others fear and resent them, possibly also band together against them.

Unhealthy Levels

Level 7: Defying any attempt to control them, become completely ruthless, dictatorial, “might makes right.” The criminal and outlaw, renegade, and con-artist. Hard-hearted, immoral and potentially violent.

Level 8: Develop delusional ideas about their power, invincibility, and ability to prevail: megalomania, feeling omnipotent, invulnerable. Recklessly over-extending self.

Level 9: If they get in danger, they may brutally destroy everything that has not conformed to their will rather than surrender to anyone else. Vengeful, barbaric, murderous. Sociopathic tendencies. Generally corresponds to the Antisocial Personality Disorder.


Compatibility with Other Types

Type 8 in relationship with type:

1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9


Misidentification with Other Types

Type 8 compared with type:

1     2     3     4     5     6     7     9


Addictions

Ignore physical needs and problems: avoid medical visits and check-ups. Indulging in rich foods, alcohol, tobacco while pushing self too hard leads to high stress, strokes, and heart conditions. Control issues central, although alcoholism and narcotic addictions are possible.


Personal Growth Recommendations
for Enneagram Type Eights

  • It goes against the grain, but act with self-restraint. You show true power when you forbear from asserting your will with others, even when you could. Your real power lies in your ability to inspire and uplift people. You are at your best when you take charge and help everyone through a crisis. Few will take advantage of you when you are caring, and you will do more to secure the loyalty and devotion of others by showing the greatness of your heart than you ever could by displays of raw power.
  • It is difficult for Eights, but learn to yield to others, at least occasionally. Often, little is really at stake, and you can allow others to have their way without fear of sacrificing your power, or your real needs. The desire to dominate everyone all the time is a sign that your ego is beginning to inflate—a danger signal that more serious conflicts with others are inevitable.
  • Remember that the world is not against you. Many people in your life care about you and look up to you, but when you are in your fixation, you do not make this easy for them. Let in the affection that is available. Doing this will not make you weak, but will confirm the strength and support in yourself and your life. Also remember that by believing that others are against you and reacting against them, you tend to alienate them and confirm your own fears. Take stock of the people who truly are on your side, and let them know how important they are to you.
  • Eights typically want to be self-reliant and depend on no one. But, ironically, they depend on many people. For example, you may think that you are not dependent on your employees because they depend on you for their jobs. You could dismiss them at any time and hire other workers. Everyone is expendable in your little kingdom—except you. But the fact is that you are dependent on others to do their jobs too, especially if your business concerns grow beyond what you can manage alone. But if you alienate everyone associated with you, you will eventually be forced to employ the most obsequious and untrustworthy operatives. When you do, you will have reason to question their loyalty and to fear losing your position. The fact is that whether in your business world or your domestic life, your self-sufficiency is largely an illusion.
  • Eights typically overvalue power. Having power, whether through wealth, position, or simple brute force, allows them to do whatever they want, to feel important, to be feared and obeyed. But those who are attracted to you because of your power do not love you for yourself, nor do you love or respect them. While this may be the Faustian bargain you have made, you will nevertheless have to pay the price that whatever power you accumulated will inevitably be at a cost to you, physically and emotionally.

Learn More

The Riso-Hudson Books offer the most complete type descriptions available anywhere. Personality Types is the most complete, in-depth, systematic treatment of the nine types and the Enneagram system as a whole, and The Wisdom of the Enneagram provides the comprehensive guide to psychological and spiritual growth for the nine personality types.

Six Centers of Being & Knowing

THE THREE CENTERS OF KNOWIN

The Three Centers of Knowing are our data centers. Through them comes all the information of the world around us, and the world within us. It is important to distinguish our Knowing Centers from our Being Centers, and not be too grounded in all the data coming to us from the world. Learning to filter and use wise discernment concerning our data centers is important. Not everything coming at us reflects true reality. Many thoughts and feelings can become ingrained within us that is not true concerning us and the world. Sorting through the data is important. That is the purpose of our Being Centers. If our Knowing Centers, especially The Mind, are too dominant, they can darken and disconnect us from our deeper identity as found in our Being Centers. “I think therefore I am,” is not a good foundation for identity or truth. The rise of mental health issues is evidence enough. “I am therefore I think” is a much better statement. The more we can detangle and distinguish our Knowing Centers, from each other and from our Being Centers, the more balanced we will be. It’s important to know what is coming from where. Heart data, Mind data, and Body data are all different, telling us different things, and should be interpreted and filtered accordingly. When each of our Knowing Centers can operate within their proper space and function, we can find greater balance in our whole person. Then each of these data centers can work together to inform our Being Centers without distorting or convoluting who we are independent of all the data floating around us in the world at large. This is a great part of the spiritual journey, of detangling the Knowing Centers and bringing them back under the leading of God through our Being Centers.

 

THE MIND: The Rational Knowing Center

The function of the MIND KNOWING CENTER is problem solving. It loves to identify problems and come up with solutionss

The Mind is the most abstract center, the most disconnected from concrete reality. The Mind has the most ability to go into the past or future, to imagine and create things outside of, and often contrary to reality. We often think of our Mind as the most grounded and clear, the most able to pierce through to truth and reality. This is not always true, especially for the Mind which is the most dominant over our other five parts, and thus the most detached from the wisdom and information which can come through them. When the mind is over-dominant, our other parts can shrink and become more dormant. Even our bodies, which is the most obvious and concrete of our Three Knowing Centers can become obscured when the Mind Center is over-dominant.

 

The Mind is good at creating theories around reality. It is very creative, and able to lead to many good truths, when focused in a good way. When the mind is the most open to a wide variety of experiences through all Six Centers, it can form good ideas about reality, which can lead to good discoveries. The Mind has its own form of intuition and feelings. In connection with the other Centers, it can come to many good conclusions about the world in connection to others and God. In separation from the other centers, the Mind has the most ability to conceive of the person as a closed system. The Mind is the most dominated by the desire for control and independence.

 
 

THE HEART: The Feeling/Connection Knowing Center

 

The function of the HEART KNOWING CENTER is connection through empathy. It loves to feel with and for itself and others.

 

The Heart Center is very intuitive. It can follow deeply mystical intimations towards deeper truths which don’t make sense to the rational Mind Center. But it also needs to be connected and balanced by all our other parts. The Heart Center can chase feelings for the sake of feelings, and end up stuck in the murky world of interior darkness, lost and overwhelmed. Depression, anxiety, anger, disillusionment, and the like can create great dysfunction when the Heart Center is too dominant, and not pursuing its emotive function with measure and balance. Still, the Heart Center brings great wisdom, especially concerning community and relational connection. The Heart Center knows how to make people a priority, and takes care to give the proper space to others feelings, thoughts, and bodies.

 

From the Heart Center comes great poetry, music, art, and stories. The Heart Center brings color and flavor to our lives. The Heart Center knows how to dance, feel the moment and suck the marrow out of life. It knows how to stop and savor the goodness of life, and leads us to balance concerning our darker desires for ego-affirmation and control. The Heart Center balances the Mind’s need for dominance, and the Bodies need for protection. Without the Heart Center all can become function and survival. The Mind is very practical and purposed, the Body very bent on self-preservation. It is the Heart that makes good space for the “other,” that honors difference and balances the “me” with the “we.” A culture greatly disconnected from the Heart space is greatly divided and divisive, pitting the good of some against the good of others. The Contemplative idea of Unitive Consciousness is a predominantly Heart movement to see how everything in all creation is connected and how everything belongs. God creates no meaningless things. No wonder our reconnection back to God is primarily facilitated by the Heart Center of God, the Holy Spirit, who helps us come back to our proper connection to all things as God intents them.

 
 

THE BODY: The Physical Knowing Center

The Body Knowing Center is the most grounded in reality and the present. It loves to experience the goodness of the physical world in the moment.

Of the three Knowing Centers, the Body is the most concrete and the least permanent. It is grounded in present reality, but also by the reality of death and dying. It can be the most consumed with survival, and can thus easily feed into the Minds desire for control and dominance for the sake of self-interest and ego. But the Body Center is in the middle. Like the Heart Center, it also craves connection and community. It delights in the pleasure and joy of experiencing the world around itself, and world full of other people. The Body Center can fall to either side of the spectrum, towards the Heart’s desire for community or the Minds desire to isolate and insulate for the sake of control. Controlling for the sake of dominance is a disconnecting energy, it pits us and our needs against the needs of others. This is the energy of war and death, of conflict and survival, of tribalism over globalism. The Body Center can’t help but be grounded in its environment, but how it interacts with that environment depends on how it frames itself within it. Too much “me” and not enough “we” can ground the Body Center in a defensive and withdrawing stance. It can become fearful of a dark and threatening world, and through disconnection and self-interest can end up feeding the kind of world it fears.

Still, the Body Center can only isolate to a degree. Without leaving the world altogether, the Body Center forces us to reckon with the reality of our connectedness to the earth and other humans. It knows, intuitively so, that we are connected, and that the good of the one does not outweigh the good of the whole. Because the Mind is so abstract, when it is over-dominant, it can lead the Body into great fear and separatism. But so too can the Body and Heart help lead the Mind back out. Of the Knowing Centers, the Body can be the least attached to God and our Being Centers. It can conceptualize our personhood as extremely temporal and finite. Because the Body Center is the most fragile and in need of daily sustenance, it can become consumed with its own existence and space. The Body needs most to be reminded by our Being Centers that its actions in present, physical reality have far-reaching emotional, mental, and spiritual consequences. The Body is good at reacting in the moment to the moment, but not at balancing momentary actions with long term consequences. The Body needs a proper attachment to the other five centers in order to be well balanced and healthy.

 
 

THE THREE BEING CENTERS

 

We are grounded, or meant to be, through our Three Being Centers. The proper order of all our parts is Spirit leading Soul leading Flesh, and then Mind, Heart, Body, filtering through the Soul to the Spirit. We are meant to process and understand everything in light of our Spirit Center, because that is the part that connects our whole person to God. And it is God, through the Holy Spirit, who alone can guide and give meaning to our lives. The goal and purpose of every human being is to find their being in the being of God, spirit to Spirit. Every aspect of our spiritual journey is purposed and pointed towards reconnection to God. This happens from God, who is pure Spirit, through our Spirit, which is the pure essence of our being, as it is with God. We are first a spirit, and our spirit is the highest part of who we are. When our spirit falls into darkness and stupor, we lose the most grounding aspect of our being. When our Spirit leads the Flesh, in conjunction with the Soul which connects the two, then we are grounded in the best way. And when God’s Spirit through our Spirit helps us process, filter, and disseminate the data which comes through our Knowing Centers, then we are in our proper place and balance as a person. The Being Centers are for this purpose, to ground our identity in relationship to God, who He says we are, and how He calls us to exist in the world. We are most human when we are closest to God.

 
 

THE SOUL: The Conscious Being Center

 

The Soul Being Center is like our Mind Knowing Center, only with a higher purpose and function. The Soul is the true center of our personhood. It connects all the other parts to each other. As the Soul rises and expands, it gives us the ability to have the proper space and connection between all the parts. It is the conscious Being Center, but it’s way of “thinking” is in conjunction with God. Where the Mind Knowing Center is perfectly content to think its own things, and do its own thing, the Soul aches and longs for communion with God.

 

The Jewish idea of the soul was as a third part created when God breathed life into mortal flesh. It is the bridge, not only between our Flesh and Spirit, but between the Being and Knowing Centers. Where the Mind Center connects but tends to reject the functions of the two other data centers. the Soul naturally draws all our parts together. The more our Soul expands, the more our parts will operate with the proper spacing and balance. Where the Mind will tend to dimmish and dominate all our parts with its incessant desire for control and self-preservation, the Soul space brings the wisdom of balance. The Mind Center tends to shrink the Soul space, drawing all things out of their proper functioning and towards itself. It will mind the body and heart, and practically cut us off from the Being Centers, because they offer the guidance of a higher consciousness other than our own. The Mind is a terrible bridge. The Soul is the better bridge, because it helps distinguish and balance all our parts. When the Soul is expanded all the way out, we have the proper space to distinguish all our parts, and to view them in light of our connection to God. Then we can tell, not only what data is coming from where, but can interpret it in concert with God. The Soul rises as the Mind Center learns to be quiet. To get in touch with our soul, we must let go of our own desire for dominance in our personhood and begin to reach back towards God. The first step in that process brings us back to our Soul. But the next step brings us back to our Spirit, through our Soul.

 
 

THE SPIRIT: The God-connection Being Center

 

Spiritual reality precedes and supersedes Physical reality. This is why our Spirit is our highest part, and meant to lead all the other parts. It is the part of our Being which remains, even after our physical bodies die. Our Spirit is eternal and indestructible. The more we connect with our Spirit, the more we step into the reality of true life and thriving, of life without the sting and shadow of death. It is our physical side which pulls us into death and dying, but these are the illusions created by our disconnection from God as our life. Just as our Heart Knowing Center’s function is connection, so too our Spirit Being Center. But the Spirit leads us to a higher connection to God, and through God to all things as they should be. It is truly because of our disconnection that all the dysfunction of the world is created. When we cannot see how all things belong, and the purpose for which God created all things, we will use and abuse all things, bending them according to our small purposes and mind. When we are connected back to the mind of God, through our Spirit to God’s, then we understand all things through God’s perspective and purposes. And since God created all things according to His plan and purpose, seeing as God see’s is seeing things as they are. This is how we begin to enter into true reality, and out of the false-self living in a false reality created apart from God.

 

Thought our Spirit Center is the most ethereal and intangible, it is still our most grounding and important. The more obscure the more real. What we easily see is the small. What we struggle to grasp is the big. It’s easy to see ourselves and the immediate surroundings of our little world. It’s easy, apart from the Spirit Center, to see ourselves as the center of our lives and our world. Our Spirit helps us connect to the bigness of life and the biggest arena. When we walk with God, we see not only the largeness of the entire cosmos moving in harmony under one will, but even the smallness of our purpose and identity within the larger plan of God’s will for us. Then we can step into our small part of the one, overarching purpose God has for all humanity and all creation throughout all time. We will naturally see ourselves as too big when we see the world too small. We will easily see ourselves as a closed system, cut off from the world at large, and needing to be. We will see the world as threatening our small self. We will naturally isolation, insulation, and seek to control all things for our small purpose and will. But our Spirit Center opens us up to the true reality of all things connected by the Life and Will of God. Then we will embrace ourselves as a small part of God’s grand purposes. Then we will lose our small self and find our true self in God. All this is brought about as we learn to reconnect through our soul to our Spirit to the Spirit of God.

 
 

THE FLESH: The Will Being Center

 

The idea of The Flesh is a strongly New Testament Notion, but not unrepresented in the Old Testament. It represents our own strength and ability. The Flesh is not synonymous with our physical bodies and the physical world, but derives its energy from physical reality in separation from the Spiritual.

 

All we see in the physical is direct cause and effect. What we do matters, and who we are is what we do. Our will to move through the world dominates this reality. In this paradigm, the whole world is moving under the will of individuals. All is contention and strife, a striving and contest of wills. When we live purely out of what is seen, we are cut off from the reality of the unseen. This is The Flesh. It is our will. It is our ability to make things happen for our own benefit and thriving. It is how we survive in the physical, mechanized world where the forces of human will and nature are all bearing down upon us. These forces can crush us, but can also be harnessed for our benefit, if we are strong enough to master them. Our will in this kind of world must be strong, and stronger than the will of others. And so, we must develop and strengthen our will in order to survive and thrive. With our will we must dominate others, and the planet, or they will dominate us. This is the essence of The Flesh. But when it comes to God, our will is powerless, and only useful for the opposite of what we’ve trained it for in separation from God.

 

In the spiritual reality our will cannot dominate. It is not, nor ever can be strong enough. We cannot will our way to God, or will against the spiritual forces and principalities of darkness in the heavenly realms. God created us with a will, but not with the ability to will apart from Him. God created us to live in harmony with Him, our will subservient to His. We are meant to acquiesce to God’s will. When all our parts are in harmony and balance, The Flesh gets connected through the Soul to our Spirit, and naturally falls under the direction of God. This is the purpose for which our will was created. To will in harmony with God, God’s will leading and directing ours. We were made in God’s image, with the freedom to choose relationship. But we were never meant to choose disconnection from relationship, especially with God. Using our will to disconnect from God is using our will in the wrong way, for the wrong purpose. This puts our will in our own hands, and makes us our own god. This is why we are in conflict with all other wills in the world, including God’s, because we have accepted the false reality and purpose of our will, to do what we want for ourselves. We cannot guide ourselves to what is good with our own will, independent of God. Our will does not work independently. To fall out of the direction of God’s will is to come, not under the control of our will, but under the guidance of the will of Satan and his purpose for the world. We will be dominated by a higher will. Satan offered the independence of our will so He could dominated it, and through us the world.

 

The essence of The Flesh is simply our own will. The dysfunction of The Flesh is independence from the will of God. The proper functioning of The Flesh is our will tethered to the will of God.

The Top Three Superpowers of Each Enneagram Type

20 SEPTEMBER 2022 / BY ELIZABETH HARRIS

If you were a superhero what would your superpower be?

Even if you’re not shooting lasers from your eyes or webs from your hands, we all have superpowers we use in everyday life. Whether you’re able to tune into others’ emotions, organize people or have laser-like focus, these are all superpowers.

If you’re curious to know the top superpowers of each Enneagram type, read on! Here are the top three strengths you have and should be taking advantage of.

Enneagram Type 1 – The Perfectionist

As the Enneagram type with the biggest emphasis on following the rules, your Type 1 superpowers are heavily weighted towards order and control. You are hardworking and responsible and your superpowers reflect that:

  • Practicality  – You’re practical, methodical and predictable, not driven by lofty ideas. This makes you great in a crisis.
  • Control – You’re steady, responsible and focused on meeting your obligations and the standards you have set for yourself. You’re always in control and that makes you an amazing employee and friend.
  • Loyalty – With your strong sense of right and wrong, you can be trusted to do the right thing and stick with the people who are important to you. People always know where they stand with you.

Enneagram Type 2 – The Giver

Enneagram Type 2s are natural caregivers. You’re warm, open and sensitive. This means your superpowers lie in your ability to help and connect with people and use your emotional intelligence for good:

  • Empathy – You are great at identifying and even anticipating the emotions of people around you and in doing so, you can support them.
  • Altruism – You’re selfless and have a huge concern for the wellbeing of others – even complete strangers. You’ll even give up your own needs to help others.
  • Approachability – Your warm smile and kind eyes help people immediately feel at ease around you and open up to you.

Enneagram Type 3 – The Achiever

Enneagram Type 3s need to achieve and be admired for it. Your superpowers lie in your ability to work a crowd and the way you approach life with such focus and energy:

  • Charisma – You’re a master at first impressions, able to win someone over from the get-go! You’re a top conversationalist and always polite and polished.
  • Confidence – You are blessed with self-assurance and this helps you approach every task or social situation with energy, focus and positivity.
  • Productivity – You are hugely goal driven and can be incredibly productive. If you set your mind to something, you won’t stop until you achieve it and win big.

Enneagram Type 4 – The Individualist

Type 4’s superpower lies in their ability to simply be themselves. You’re known for your unique, offbeat personality, and you’re not afraid to be whoever you want to be, regardless of what everyone else thinks:

  • Creativity – You’re a true individualist who expresses yourself creatively, through imagination and experimentation – this is truly one of your superpowers.
  • Compassion –You are compassionate and loving and you have a deep capacity to understand complex emotions both in yourself and others.
  • Authenticity – You love to present your true self to the world and are genuine, open and honest. You don’t change yourself for anyone!

Enneagram Type 5 – The Investigator

For Type 5s, nothing excites you more than the pursuit of knowledge. You dig deep into interesting topics and use all your energy to learn and scrutinize life:

  • Inquisitiveness – You are endlessly curious and fascinated by unexplored realms and ideas. Your superpower lies in your ability to simplify complex theories into something anyone can understand.
  • Focus – You hold an incredible ability to ignore social niceties and convention and focus your energy on one thing entirely. This laser-sharp focus is a huge strength of type 5s, even if it might not seem like it to friends!
  • Steadiness – You stay calm no matter what is happening around you. You take issues one step at a time. When the world is falling apart, you’re the one everyone wants to have by their side.

Enneagram Type 6 – The Skeptic

At the heart of the Type 6 personality type is a desire for preparedness. You want to be ready for anything and this makes you extremely organized, efficient and well-connected. You fit well into different social groups and value trust and security above all else:

  • Organization – Detail-oriented, responsible and orderly, you have a superpower for organization. You are methodical and precise and always have a plan in place.
  • Communication – You are a clear communicator and this helps you fit easily within different social groups.
  • Trustworthiness – You are both extremely trustworthy and you trust others easily. You are the person others ask to keep a secret, respect their privacy and look out for them, which makes you an incredibly loyal and respected friend.

Enneagram Type 7 – The Enthusiast

Endlessly energetic and enthusiastic, Type 7s live their lives with a glass-half-full outlook. You’re always ready for new discoveries and you approach the world with curiosity and excitement:

  • Multitasking – You always have multiple projects on the go and fill your world with new ideas and opportunities. You have a superpower for having many plates in the air at the same time and never getting tired.
  • Optimism – If you’re looking for someone to brighten up every situation, look no further than a 7! You have a natural optimism and positivity and shine like sunbeams in every scenario.
  • Energy – You are always busy and buzzing with a story to tell or an idea for an adventure up your sleeve. Your superpower is your ability to turn every occasion into a party.

Enneagram Type 8 – The Challenger

The Type 8 personality type is strong and fierce. Your superpowers are superpowers in the traditional sense, resting on your leadership, fearlessness and ‘hero’ ideals. You strive to be there for the people who need you and stand up for what you believe in:

  • Protectiveness – You are generally brave and have a strong sense of justice. You will protect people you perceive as being weaker and strive for honesty and fairness.
  • Fearlessness – You overcome your fear of being vulnerable by presenting a fearless face to the world. You wade into any situation with your armor on and are a powerful force to be reckoned with.
  • Determination – Presented with a problem, you will do everything you can to find a solution. You are determined and direct and approach problems head on.

Enneagram Type 9 – The Peacemaker

Always looking for harmony and balance, the Type 9 likes to live a calm, easy life. You’re gentle and mellow and your superpowers rest on your ability to diffuse conflict and help everyone get along.

  • Stability – Though it might seem like a boring superpower, your biggest strength is creating stability in every environment you’re placed in, no matter how rocky.
  • Humility – You are very humble. You don’t look for recognition or accolades and regularly place other people’s needs above your own.
  • Persuasiveness – You are a brilliant mediator. You’re extremely skilled at diffusing conflict and can be incredibly persuasive when you want to be. This superpower comes in handy when tensions rise in a social group – you bring everyone back into balance.
Elizabeth Harris

Elizabeth is a freelance writer and ghostwriter. She’s an anthropologist at heart and loves using social theory to get deeper into the topics she writes about. Born in the UK, Elizabeth has lived in Copenhagen, Frankfurt and Dubai before moving most recently to Budapest, Hungary. She’s an ENTJ with ENFJ leanings. Find out more about her work at bethharris.com

Enneagram Subtypes

Each of the 9 main enneagram types also has three subtypes which mean there are actually 27 enneagram subtypes! This gives much more understanding to a person’s type and provides more potential for growth!

What is an Enneagram Subtype?
An enneagram subtype (also known as an instinctual subtype or instinctual variant) is a combination of your main enneagram type (one of the nine numbers) and your survival instinct (there are three options).

Main enneagram type + survival instinct = subtype.

Of course, we no longer need to depend on our survival instinct quite as strongly as our ancestors did, but we still have a survival drive and then are seen in three forms or options.

No matter what type you are, you are wired towards one of these survival instincts. We’ll get into what that looks like for all the 27 possibilities below!

What are the Three Survival Instincts
The three survival instincts or what we call “subtypes” are Self-Preservation, Social, and Sexual (better called Intimate or One-to-One).

Self-Preservation (SP):
This instinctual subtype gives priority to physical needs such as health, finances, food, shelter, and family.

Social (SO):
This instinctual subtype gives priority to belonging and being accepted by the group or community.

Sexual/Intimate/One-to-One (SX):
This instinctual subtype gives priority to connecting intimately with individuals. Having “chemistry” with others but this does not necessarily need to be sexual (hence why “sexual” is not the best name for this subtype)

Instinctual Subtype Stacking 1

Can You Have More than One Subtype/Survival Instinct?
Yes, well somewhat. Everyone as one dominant instinctual subtype but that does not mean that they do not have access to the other two options.

This is what is called Instinctual Subtype Stacking (sometimes called sequencing)

We have access to all three survival instincts but they are on different levels or priorities.

These three levels/priorities are dominant, secondary, and tertiary.

Dominant = Over aware
Secondary = Neutral
Tertiary = Underdeveloped, a blindspot.

This is why you often see people list their subtype stacking instead of just one subtype.

Example: I’m a SO/SP 1. Social is my dominant subtype and self-preservation is my neutral secondary subtype, and I don’t need to list sexual/intimate (SX) because it’s obviously my last stacking and thus my blind spot.

There can be a bit of shifting between instinctual subtypes depending on your circumstances in life. For instance, your neutral subtype might kick in during a particularly hard time. However, generally, your stacking stays the same although the goal is to bring all three instincts into balance.

Does My Subtype Change My Enneagram Type?
No. Your subtype shifts how your main enneagram type acts but you are still 100% your type.

The way you act to survive causes you to look a bit different than others of your enneagram type with a different subtype but you will have the same core motivation as others with the same enneagram type.

In other words, if you are a social 9, you will appear a bit different than a self-preservation 9 or sexual 9…but you will still all share the same core motivation, you just go about getting that core desire a bit differently.

Enneagram Countertypes
The subtypes have a connection to the enneagram vices (or “deadly sins”). Most of the types use their vice in a typical way but one of our three instincts/subtypes uses it in the opposite way.

Example: A type 1’s vice is anger (better known as resentment for 1s). Self-Preservation and Social 1s tend to suppress their anger but the Sexual 1 is actually a bit ok with expressing their anger.

Subtypes who use their vice in a non-stereotypical way are the countertypes. They are still 100% their main type because they have the same core motivation but they often look more like a different type due to their actions and traits.

The 27 Enneagram Subtypes
subtype 1Type 1 Subtypes
Self-Preservation 1s
Focuses On: The need to be correct/right with their families, their health, their finances, and their homes.

SP 1s are the more stereotypical perfectionists of the 1s and are more likely to deal with worry and anxiety (over being correct/right) than other type 1s. However, they are also often the more warm and friendly of the 1 subtypes.

Relationship to Their Vice (anger): SP 1s tend to suppress their anger (and they tend to suppress it the most out of the 1 subtypes)

Potential Mistypes: SP 1s can often look like type 6s.

Social 1s
Focuses On: The need to be correct/right with their groups and communities.

SO 1s often take on being the teacher or role model with those around them; trying to show others the right way to live. These 1s are often concerned with fairness and justice.

Relationship to Their Vice (anger): SO 1s often suppress their anger but are also a bit ok with showing it.

Potential Mistypes: SO 1s can often look like type 3s or type 5s.

Sexual/Intimate 1s
Focuses On: The need to be correct/right with their intimate connections.

SX 1s are the Countertype of type 1 as they react in an opposite way with their vice (anger). They focus less on perfecting themselves and instead use their energy and zeal on perfecting others.

Relationship to Their Vice (anger): SX 1s are more likely to show anger than suppress it like the other 1 subtypes.

Potential Mistypes: SX 1s can often look like type 8s.

Type 2 Subtypes
Self-Preservation 2s
Focuses On: The need to be charming in order to have their physical needs met.

SP 2s are the Countertype of type 2 as they react in an opposite way with their vice (pride). They are timider in connecting with others; less prone to being helpers/givers. They tend to appear childish or childlike in order to be taken care of.

Relationship to Their Vice (pride): SP 2s tend to suppress their pride (and they tend to suppress it the most out of the 2 subtypes)

Potential Mistypes: SP 2s can often look like type 4s, type 6s, or type 7s.

Social 2s
Focuses On: The need to be charming with their groups and communities.

SO 2s focus on charming groups and communities and being influential within these groups. They tend to be generous and offer support, advice, and help in order to be seen as needed by the group.

Relationship to Their Vice (pride): SO 2s are more likely to show pride than the other subtypes of 2.

Potential Mistypes: SO 2s can often look like type 3s or type 8s.

Sexual/Intimate 2s
Focuses On: The need to be charming with their intimate connections.

SX 2s focus on charming and attracting strong intimate relationships. They are a bit more passionate and emotional than the other type 2s and often try to be physically appealing to others.

Relationship to Their Vice (pride): SX 2s may show pride.

Potential Mistypes: SX 2s can often look like type 4s.

Type 3 Subtypes
Self-Preservation 3s
Focuses On: The need to be valuable/admired in order to have their physical needs met.

SP 3s are the Countertype of type 3 as they react in an opposite way with their vice (vanity). They want to achieve but they don’t want to brag about it. These 3’s focus more on being good and attaining material security for themselves and their family.

Relationship to Their Vice (vanity): SP 3s tend to suppress their vanity

Potential Mistypes: SP 3s can often look like type 1s.

Social 3s
Focuses On: The need to be valuable/admired in their groups and communities.

SO 3s are more of the stereotypical 3 who want to climb the social ladder and be in the spotlight. They can be highly competitive in order to be or appear successful in whatever they are doing.

Relationship to Their Vice (vanity): SO 3s are more likely to show vanity than the other subtypes of 3.

Potential Mistypes: SO 3s can often look like type 8s.

Sexual/Intimate 3s
Focuses On: The need to be valuable/admired by their intimate connections.

SX 3s focus on being attractive and supportive with their intimate relationships. They tend to measure their value by how useful they are to those around them. These 3s are charismatic and love promoting others.

Relationship to Their Vice (vanity): SX 3s may show vanity.

Potential Mistypes: SX 3s can often look like type 2s.

Type 4 Subtypes
Self-Preservation 4s
Focuses On: The need to be themselves in order to have their physical needs met.

SP 4s are the Countertype of type 4 as they react in an opposite way with their vice (envy). They work to get what they feel others have/that they lack (not generally material envy but a more characteristic/wholeness envy). Nicknamed the “happy 4” they tend to keep the sad/hard emotions for behind closed doors.

Relationship to Their Vice (envy): SP 4s tend to suppress their envy.

Potential Mistypes: SP 4s can often look like type 1s, 3s, or 7s.

Social 4s
Focuses On: The need to be themselves with their groups and communities.

SO 4s are more of the stereotypical 4 who is open with all of their feelings and feels more shame than the other 4s. They connect to themselves and others through their authentic feelings.

Relationship to Their Vice (envy): SO 4s are more likely to show envy than the other subtypes of 4.

Potential Mistypes: SO 4s can often look like type 6s.

Sexual/Intimate 4s
Focuses On: The need to be themselves with their intimate connections.

SX 4s are nicknamed the “angry 4” as they are not afraid to ask for or demand for what they need. They are more shameless than shameful and can be competitive to avoid feeling “less than”.

Relationship to Their Vice (vanity): SX 4s may show envy.

Potential Mistypes: SX 4s can often look like type 3s or type 8s.

Type 5 Subtypes
Self-Preservation 5s
Focuses On: The need to be competent with their families, health, finances, and home.

SP 5s are the more stereotypical of the 5s and are more focused on maintaining strong boundaries so that they don’t become invaded. They try to limit their needs in order to avoid being dependent on others.

Relationship to Their Vice (avarice): SP 5s are ore likely to show avarice than other subtypes.
*Note: Avarice in the sense of feeling the need to carefully guard what they have; not a greed-based avarice.

Potential Mistypes: SP 5s are unlikely to mistype.

Social 5s
Focuses On: The need to be competent with their groups and communities.

SO 5s are the most extroverted of the 5s. They focus on gaining knowledge and potentially sharing that knowledge within their groups and communities. Their avarice is connected more to knowledge than to things.

Relationship to Their Vice (avarice): SO 5s may show avarice.
*Note Avarice in the sense of feeling the need to carefully guard what they have; not a greed-based avarice.

Potential Mistypes: SO 5s can often look like type 1s.

Sexual/Intimate 5s
Focuses On: The need to be competent with their intimate connections.

SX 5s are the Countertype of type 5 as they react in an opposite way with their vice (avarice). They focus on finding select individuals to trust and share life with. They are more aware of their feelings internally but may not show them.

Relationship to Their Vice (avarice): SX 5s are unlikely to show vanity.
*Note Avarice in the sense of feeling the need to carefully guard what they have; not a greed-based avarice.

Potential Mistypes: SX 5s can often look like type 4s.

Type 6 Subtypes
Self-Preservation 6s
Focuses On: The need to be secure/supported within their families, health, finances, and home.

SP 6s are the more stereotypical and most phobic of the 6s. They focus on being warm and building connections that will become their trusted alliances which will help them feel more secure and supported.

Relationship to Their Vice (fear): SP 6s are the most likely to show fear than the other subtypes of 6.

Potential Mistypes: SP 6s can often look like type 2s.

Social 6s
Focuses On: The need to be secure/supported with their groups and communities.

SO 6s focus on being responsible and logical to feel secure and supported. These 6s handle their fear by following authorities and rules. They love accuracy and knowing what is expected of them. Structure and guidelines bring security to these 6s.

Relationship to Their Vice (fear): SO 6s may show fear.

Potential Mistypes: SO 6s can often look like type 1s.

Sexual/Intimate 6s
Focuses On: The need to be secure/supported with their intimate connections.

SX 6s are the Countertype of type 6 as they react in an opposite way with their vice (fear), this is the subtype that is usually referred to as a “counterphobic 6” They may even be unaware of their fear as they tend to take on a “the best defense is a good offense” mentality.

Relationship to Their Vice (fear): SX 6s tend to suppress fear.

Potential Mistypes: SX 6s can often look like type 8s.

Type 7 Subtypes
Self-Preservation 7s
Focuses On: The need to be satisfied in their families, health, finances, and home.

SP 7s are the more stereotypical of the 7s. They focus on pragmatic planning and networking in order to support their own needs. They work towards satisfaction by being fun and building a network of supporters.

Relationship to Their Vice (gluttony): SP 7s are more likely to show gluttony than the other subtypes of 7.
Note: Gluttony does not need to be strictly related to food.

Potential Mistypes: SP 7s are unlikely to mistype.

Social 7s
Focuses On: The need to be satisfied with their groups and communities.

SO 7s are the Countertype of type 7 as they react in an opposite way with their vice (gluttony). These 7s have a more “give to get” mentality. They are willing to sacrifice their desires for the group and use enthusiasm to make themselves valued in the group.

Relationship to Their Vice (gluttony): SO 7s are not likely to show gluttony.
Note: Gluttony does not need to be strictly related to food.

Potential Mistypes: SO 7s can often look like type 2s.

Sexual/Intimate 7s
Focuses On: The need to be satisfied with their intimate connections.

SX 7s see the world through rose-colored glasses. They focus on exciting possibilities and idealistic dreams. They can lean more towards naive but they also can charm others into new visions and adventures.

Relationship to Their Vice (gluttony): SX 7s may show gluttony.
Note: Gluttony does not need to be strictly related to food.

Potential Mistypes: SX 7s can often look like type 4s.

Type 8 Subtypes
Self-Preservation 8s
Focuses On: The need to be protective of their families, health, finances, and home.

SP 8s focus on meeting their desire to be protective and autonomous by gaining power and influence. They get what they need quickly with no nonsense. These 8s are more direct and less emotional than other 8s.

Relationship to Their Vice (lust): SP 8s are likely to show lust.
Note: Lust does not need to be strictly sexual.

Potential Mistypes: SP 8s can sometimes look like type 5s.

Social 8s
Focuses On: The need to be protective of their groups and communities.

SO 8s are the Countertype of type 8 as they react in an opposite way with their vice (lust). These 8s focus on using their power and influence to serve and protect those in their group. They are very aware of injustice and less aggressive than other 8s.

Relationship to Their Vice (lust): SO 8s are not likely to show lust.
Note: Lust does not need to be strictly sexual.

Potential Mistypes: SO 8s can often look like type 2s.

Sexual/Intimate 8s
Focuses On: The need to be protective of their intimate connections.

SX 8s have a strong rebellious nature and like to command the attention of everyone. They focus on having possession of the environment around them. These 8s are the ore provocative and have a stronger desire for intensity than the other 8s.

Relationship to Their Vice (lust): SX 8s may show lust.
Note: Lust does not need to be strictly sexual.

Potential Mistypes: SX 8s can often look like type 4s.

Type 9 Subtypes
Self-Preservation 9s
Focuses On: The need to be at peace with their families, health, finances, and home.

SP 9s are more of the stereotypical 9 and they focus on living comfortably. They find peace in routines and familiar activities. They can be more aggressively concerned with meeting their physical needs than other 9s would.

Relationship to Their Vice (sloth): SP 9s are likely to show sloth.
Note: Sloth refers to slowness to do harder internal work such as engaging with their desires and needs.

Potential Mistypes: SP 9s can sometimes look like type 5s or type 8s.

Social 9s
Focuses On: The need to be at peace with their groups and communities.

SO 9s are the Countertype of type 9 as they react in an opposite way with their vice (sloth). These fun-loving 9s can become workaholics as they put the needs of the group above their own.

Relationship to Their Vice (sloth): SO 9s suppress sloth.
Note: Sloth refers to a slowness to do harder internal work such as engaging with their desires and needs.

Potential Mistypes: SO 9s can often look like type 3s or type 7s.

Sexual/Intimate 9s
Focuses On: The need to be at peace with their intimate connections.

SX 9s are very relationship-oriented and tend to merge with the opinions, attitudes, and passions of their intimate connections. These 9s are the more gentle and non-assertive of the 9s.

Relationship to Their Vice (sloth): SX 9s may show sloth.
Note: Sloth refers to slowness to do harder internal work such as engaging with their desires and needs.

Potential Mistypes: SX 9s can often look like type 2s or type 4s.

Want More Information on Subtypes?
If you want to learn more about the subtypes, I highly recommend picking up Beatrice Chestnut’s book: The Complete Enneagram. It focuses on and explains the 27 subtypes in great detail.

 

 

Enneagram Types Under Stress

Find out the root stressors of each #enneatype, and how to help someone who is stressed based on their enneatype. #Enneagram, #Personality

How Every Enneagram Type Reacts to Stress, and How to Help

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Have you ever become so stressed that you “flipped a switch” and acted like someone else? Maybe it felt like an out-of-body experience or you felt completely beyond your own control? Well, according to the enneagram system, there’s a reason for that! Each type has an area of disintegration (stress) that they veer into when they become especially stressed, but before that time happens, there’s also a sequence of unhealthy behaviors or feelings that may occur. That’s what we’re going to explore today!

How Every Enneagram Type Reacts to Stress, and How to Help

Enneagram 1 in Stress

What stresses out the One Enneatype?

  • Being around lazy or undependable people.
  • Not seeing action taken towards a goal.
  • Shame over mistakes they’ve made.
  • Not living up to their own expectations.
  • Others not living up to their expectations.
  • Feeling like they have to be the responsible one while others are slacking.
  • Being taken for granted
  • Corruption in the world
  • Hypocrisy
  • Apathy
  • People being late
  • Messy surroundings
  • Their Own Perfectionism

Normally grounded and pragmatic, Ones under stress suddenly become moody and withdrawn. They’re often burned out by trying to live up by their ever-increasing expectations, and this exhaustion leads to resentment and anger. However, because Ones are always trying to repress their anger, it leaks out into irritated comments, sarcastic jabs, or cynical jokes. If stress is extreme, Ones lose their usual self-discipline and become more hostile, withdrawn, and emotionally reactive. They might overeat, break some of their own rules, or throw caution to the wind. It’s as if they’ve fired their “inner critic” and, for a moment, are letting loose a rebel that was always hiding in the corner. They become more self-indulgent, self-conscious, and dramatic.

How to Help a One Experiencing Stress:

  • Let them have an outburst. Just be with them. Don’t judge.
  • Take on some of the responsibilities around them without having to be asked.
  • Acknowledge the hard work they’ve put forth on a goal.
  • Thank them for the things they’ve done for you.
  • Give them some time alone to decompress.
  • Realize that they might be especially moody and critical. Try to be patient.
  • Let them know that they aren’t responsible for everything. Give them a break from some of their responsibilities.
  • Clean up the house or the area they’re in. Give them a sense that things are in order.
  • Remind them that nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes if they’re being self-critical.
  • After they’ve had a chance to calm down, give them something safe to play at. Watch a comedy with them, get them outside, or make them laugh.

Enneagram 2 in Stress

 What Stresses Out the Two Enneatype?

  • Being taken for granted
  • Too much time alone
  • Feeling unloved for who they are
  • Saying “yes” to too many things and burning themselves out
  • Not getting affirmation or gratitude for their kind deeds
  • Feeling left out
  • Being around emotionally distant people
  • Not having their kindness reciprocated
  • Not feeling needed

The core desire of the two is to feel loved for who they truly are. These types need to nurture themselves as much as they nurture others, but often they overextend themselves on others’ behalf. They hope that through selfless pursuits they will earn a sense of worth and love. When these types are severely stressed they become more blunt and aggressive. Usually kind-hearted and gentle, they suddenly reveal a shocking inner toughness. They will confront people directly for their misdeeds and won’t hold back in arguments that they’d normally shy away from. This fiery resolve and directness is usually shocking to people who are used to their normal gregarious, empathetic demeanor. While this is happening, Twos become more concerned with their survival. They’ll work harder and become more controlling of the world around them.

How to Help a Two Experiencing Stress:

  • Show them you care and acknowledge the kind things they have done.
  • Help them set healthy boundaries so that they don’t keep overextending themselves.
  • Remind them that they don’t need to worry so much about what other people think of them. Remind them of who their loyal friends and loved ones are – and that it’s okay not to be “perfect.”
  • Realize that they might be more confrontational and aggressive than usual. Understand that this is temporary, and try not to judge too harshly unless they are endangering someone.
  • Ask them if they want to vent, write down their feelings, or listen to a particular song to find a mirror for their feelings.
  • Help them find creative modes of self-expression like drawing, singing, or writing.
  • Tell them that it’s not selfish for them to take care of themselves and spend time on their own pursuits.
  • Help them cancel some of their non-essential obligations.

Enneagram 3 in Stress

What Stresses Out Enneagram Threes:

  • Not seeing progress towards a goal.
  • Feeling like a failure.
  • Feeling incompetent or being around incompetence.
  • Not being acknowledged for what they do.
  • Not accomplishing things.
  • Losing.
  • Comparing themselves to others who are highly successful.
  • Feeling worthless or undesirable.
  • Not being challenged.
  • Being around people who lack vision.

Highly-focused and driven to succeed, Threes often burn themselves out trying to be the best at whatever they do. Not afraid of a challenge, they enjoy proving themselves and standing out amid a crowd of mediocre individuals. However, when they are highly stressed they can push themselves way too hard and punish themselves too viciously for their failures. When extreme stress hits, they can suddenly flip a switch and become more listless and apathetic. They fill their time with busywork to try to avoid facing the reality of the problems they’re dealing with. Instead of actually doing anything, they may get caught up in fantasies of their next big success. They also may feel more hyper-sensitive than usual but will avoid facing their feelings directly. These stress episodes are confusing for them and their loved ones because they’re typically so hard-working and ambitious.

How to Help a Stressed-Out Three:

  • Let them take off their “mask” of competence and capability. Patiently let them talk about what’s bothering them or give them time alone to decompress.
  • Help them take deep breaths and tune into their body. Are they hungry? Thirsty? Tired? In pain? Help them recognize their physical needs.
  • Encourage them (non-forcefully) to talk about their feelings. Remind them that you’re there to listen, not to judge. Give them a safe space to express their vulnerabilities without judging, offering advice, or coddling them. Simply listen.
  • Be authentic about your own vulnerabilities – this will help them to feel safe being vulnerable with you.
  • Draw their attention towards a creative avenue. Creative activity often helps Threes tremendously. Give them time to write, draw, listen to music, etc,.
  • Acknowledge their successes and how they’ve helped you.
  • Try to clean any messes in their surroundings. Disordered external surroundings tend to stress them.

Enneagram 4 in Stress

What Stresses Out Enneagram 4s:

  • Having to go along with the crowd.
  • Too many external pressures.
  • Feeling misunderstood or criticized.
  • Being micro-managed.
  • Being forced to follow a lot of rules and guidelines.
  • Not making progress on their creative goals.
  • Having to put on a “happy face” when they are struggling emotionally.
  • Having their feelings dismissed.
  • Living in dull, non-personalized surroundings.
  • Feeling creatively blocked.

Imaginative and melancholy, Fours believe in being deeply authentic and finding their unique identity in the world. They hate feeling forced into a box or unable to express their true feelings and ideals. When stressed, Fours tend to isolate themselves and brood over their negative feelings. They dwell on the darkness of their emotions and allow those feelings to engulf them. If stress increases to an extreme level, they may suddenly change and become more outgoing and anxious for human interaction. They might try too hard to please others or find ways to get closer to people. They will seem more needy, expressive, and people-pleasing. They crave affirmation and are terrified of being abandoned or rejected. They will try to help others in order to regain a sense of being needed by the ones they love.

How to Help a Stressed-Out Four:

  • Allow them to express their feelings. Don’t tell them how they feel or cut them off. Understand that their feelings are unique to them.
  • Remind them of what’s real and what they can count on. Don’t minimize their feelings, but point out the reality of the situation while empathizing with them.
  • Remind them of their talents and strengths.
  • Help them set up some positive routines that will create a more peaceful atmosphere in their home.
  • Set up healthy boundaries if they are regularly using you as an emotional dumping ground.
  • Remind them of what’s positive in the present moment.
  • Offer empathy before advice.
  • Let them know that they are lovable regardless of how different they are from others.

Read This Next: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram 4 Personality Type

Enneagram 5 in Stress

What Stresses Out Enneagram 5s:

  • Not getting enough alone time.
  • Being “barged in on.”
  • Feeling incompetent or incapable.
  • Feeling too detached from the physical world.
  • Physical malnutrition and neglect.
  • Being overwhelmed by fears and dark thoughts.
  • Not finding a niche for themselves.
  • Feeling like life is meaningless.
  • Extreme isolation and lack of connection.

Fives crave mastery in something that will set them apart from others. These types often grew up feeling misunderstood and lost in their families. They worried that they weren’t capable of handling whatever life hurled at them, and hoped that through mastery in a niche area they could feel competent. However, many Fives search endlessly for mastery and knowledge, only to get lost in theoretical analysis over real-world experience. Over time, they can become reclusive, detached, and anxious. Stress builds as they sense their growing detachment from reality and their own physical bodies. During regular stress, they try to get away from the world and narrow their focus on their niche interest. As stress builds, they become increasingly distractible. They may drink too much, binge eat, go to parties, clubs, and bars in search of an escape from their stress. They may seem especially aggressive and insensitive during these moments.

How to Help a Stressed-Out Five:

  • Help them to quiet their mind. Guide them through deep breathing and help them relax their body.
  • Help them tune into their body. Are they exhausted? Dehydrated? Hungry? In pain? Fives often detach from their physical needs under stress. Help guide them back to their bodies so that they can get physical peace.
  • Get them involved in a healthy activity. Take a walk, jump on a trampoline, go to the zoo, practice martial arts. These activities can reduce stress tremendously.
  • Remind them that you’ll be there for them regardless of whatever happens. Let them know that it’s okay to tell you about their needs and that it doesn’t make them “weak.”
  • Recognize their accomplishments and unique abilities.
  • Help them put their knowledge to the test in the real world when they’re feeling less stressed. The more they actualize their abilities the happier they will become.
  • Let them feel their grief. Show that you are trustworthy. Don’t coddle them or overly sympathize. Just show that you are there for them and remind them not to swallow their feelings. Encourage them to express themselves so that they can find relief.
  • Respect their need for privacy.
  • Don’t interrupt them or barge in on them.

Enneagram 6 in Stress

What Stresses Out Enneagram Sixes:

  • Undependable people
  • Disorder in their environment
  • Corruption or chaos in the world
  • Not trusting themselves
  • Not having a sense of community or support
  • Getting lost in catastrophizing
  • Feeling unsafe
  • Lack of structure or clarity
  • Burnout from over-committing and taking on too many responsibilities
  • Not finding answers to their questions
  • Wishy-washy behavior
  • Having other people decide for them
  • Feeling distrustful of people close to them
  • Making mistakes

Hard-working and loyal, Sixes crave an environment of security, support, and structure. They like knowing what’s going to happen and when it’s going to happen. Natural catastrophizers, they prepare for worst-case scenarios and are vigilant to any potential disaster. Under stress, Sixes become hyper-aware of all that could go wrong. They become exceedingly anxious and envision horrific possibilities at every turn. They get lost in endless thoughts and negative possibilities and may get caught up in researching solutions or news stories that might provide answers. They may also seek authority or guide to help them find the best way to handle the situation. If stress builds to extreme levels, they disintegrate to 3. When this happens, they become more image-conscious and focused on how they appear to others. They may put on a persona of professionalism and confidence, becoming boastful and self-promoting. Their work absorbs them and they become fixated on achievement. By being competitive and ambitious they hope they can assuage their low self-esteem and brutal anxiety.

How to Help a Stressed-Out Six:

  • Remind them of what’s real and dependable.
  • Ask them to assume the worst happens. Then what they will do? Letting them talk it out can help them to calm down and realistically assess the situation.
  • Remind them that the worst could happen, but that the best could happen as well.
  • Don’t patronize their fears.
  • Follow through on your commitments and promises.
  • Remind them that you’re there for them.
  • Help them tune into their body. Guide them through deep breathing.
  • Ask them to assess their physical needs. Are they hungry? Tired? Thirsty? Remind them not to forget their physical needs.
  • Exercise with them or go for a walk. This can increase stress-reducing endorphins in the brain.
  • Help them to calm the flurry of internal voices in their mind. Encourage them to listen to their heart and instincts.
  • Make sure they’re getting time alone.
  • Help them cancel non-essential responsibilities that are overwhelming them.

Enneagram 7 in Stress

What Stresses Out Enneagram 7s:

  • Being micro-managed
  • Not having enough personal freedom
  • Lack of free, unstructured time
  • Excessive responsibilities
  • Being cooped up for too long
  • Being stuck in one place for too long
  • Boredom
  • Doing nitty-gritty, detail work
  • Financial problems
  • Being stuck in a routine
  • Lack of loyal friendships

Sevens are enthusiastic and innovative, finding possibility in even the direst situations. Because they’re so creative it’s typically easy for them to reframe a negative situation into a positive one. That said, they still experience stress just like everyone does. When Sevens are stressed, they become more escapist and impulsive. They’ll fixate on finding a fun activity or experience to pursue, and may become more hedonistic or scattered than usual. If stress builds to extreme degrees, they can disintegrate to One. When this happens, they restrain their normally free-spirited behaviors. They will work harder, educate people, and become more critical and judgmental. They may even scold, nitpick, or become sarcastic with people – noticing all their flaws and the flaws of others.

How to Help a Stressed Enneagram Seven:

  • Help them to calm down and take deep breaths.
  • Guide them through observing their feelings, both physical and emotional. They may dislike this initially and need some time alone first. It’s important for them to do this, though, either alone or with someone they can trust.
  • Meditation can be very helpful for Sevens. Encourage them to stick with this, even if it seems boring.
  • Encourage them to accept pain as well as pleasure. Help them to realize that pain is an integral part of life and will help them grow.
  • Be supportive as they vent or try to deal with their grief.
  • Give them delicious, healthy snacks to enjoy.
  • Help them to find a song that mirrors their emotions and listen to it with them.

Enneagram 8 in Stress

What Stresses Out Enneagram 8s:

  • Feeling out of control
  • Being micro-managed
  • Having to be a follower
  • Having their autonomy infringed upon
  • Not seeing progress towards a goal
  • Failure
  • Wishy-washy, vapid people
  • Manipulative people
  • Having to sugarcoat things
  • Having to play it safe
  • Being around corruption
  • Not being challenged

Charismatic and strong-willed, Eights crave freedom and a sense of power in their world. They need independence, and any situation that takes that away from them can create an enormous amount of stress and anger. During stress, Eights become more confrontational than usual and can work harder, trying to achieve more independence and control in their lives. If stress builds to extreme degrees, Eights can suddenly become reclusive and withdrawn. They get stuck in analysis, reading, and info-gathering, trying to find subjects to master in an attempt to feel competent again. They may stop taking care of themselves physically and become more quiet and detached than usual.

How to Help a Stressed-Out Enneagram Eight:

  • Prove that you are someone they can trust. Follow through on your promises and mean what you say.
  • Give them some time to themselves to decompress and sort things out.
  • Help them to tune into their breathing and calm their body.
  • Remind them that it’s okay to let down their guard around you. Let them know this doesn’t make them “weak.”
  • Let them know if they are intimidating you.
  • Show them that progress is being made towards a goal.
  • Be clear and direct with them, but understanding.

Enneagram 9 in Stress

What Stresses Out Enneagram 9s:

  • Conflict in their environment
  • Being with people who are making a “scene”
  • Being forced into a position
  • Being ignored or passed over
  • Saying “yes” to things they don’t want to do
  • Dealing with peer pressure
  • Losing relationships that are important to them
  • Suppressing anger for too long
  • Having too many demands on their time

Nines crave inner harmony and peace. They want time to themselves to imagine, contemplate, and explore. They enjoy peaceful, harmonious environments and freedom. During stress, they try to downplay their own choices and needs in an effort to create inner peace as well as outer peace. They worry that by asserting themselves they will create more conflict, both inside and outside. They try to suppress their anger, fearing that it will fragment or destroy them in some way. If stress increases to extreme levels, Nines fixate on forming relationships and security. They worry about worst-case scenarios and become uncharacteristically pessimistic and paranoid. They might blame other people for their problems or bring up long-stifled complaints about others. Their normally serene nature cracks to reveal numerous anxieties and frustrations under the surface.

How to Help a Stressed-Out Nine:

  • Give them permission to assert themselves and their needs. Ask them to “let it all out” and remind them that this is a judgment-free zone.
  • Give them some space and time to themselves.
  • Remind them that it’s okay to say “No” to things they don’t want to do.
  • Recognize their unique talents and encourage them to pursue them.
  • Help them process their anger. Remind them that anger isn’t always a bad thing. Use examples if possible.
  • Help them tune into their bodies. What do they need physically? Help them to take deep breaths.
  • Go for a jog with them or engage in some other form of exercise. This will help them to de-stress and process some of their feelings.

Not sure what your enneagram type is? Take our new personality questionnaire here!

Sources: The Wisdom of the EnneagramPersonality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery. These links are affiliate links. This means that if you purchase one of these eBooks, I get a small commission to help run my site.

Estimated reading time: 16 minutes

How Every Enneagram Type Reacts to Stress, and How to Help

Enneagram 1 in Stress

What stresses out the One Enneatype?

  • Being around lazy or undependable people.
  • Not seeing action taken towards a goal.
  • Shame over mistakes they’ve made.
  • Not living up to their own expectations.
  • Others not living up to their expectations.
  • Feeling like they have to be the responsible one while others are slacking.
  • Being taken for granted
  • Corruption in the world
  • Hypocrisy
  • Apathy
  • People being late
  • Messy surroundings
  • Their Own Perfectionism

Normally grounded and pragmatic, Ones under stress suddenly become moody and withdrawn. They’re often burned out by trying to live up by their ever-increasing expectations, and this exhaustion leads to resentment and anger. However, because Ones are always trying to repress their anger, it leaks out into irritated comments, sarcastic jabs, or cynical jokes. If stress is extreme, Ones lose their usual self-discipline and become more hostile, withdrawn, and emotionally reactive. They might overeat, break some of their own rules, or throw caution to the wind. It’s as if they’ve fired their “inner critic” and, for a moment, are letting loose a rebel that was always hiding in the corner. They become more self-indulgent, self-conscious, and dramatic.

How to Help a One Experiencing Stress:

  • Let them have an outburst. Just be with them. Don’t judge.
  • Take on some of the responsibilities around them without having to be asked.
  • Acknowledge the hard work they’ve put forth on a goal.
  • Thank them for the things they’ve done for you.
  • Give them some time alone to decompress.
  • Realize that they might be especially moody and critical. Try to be patient.
  • Let them know that they aren’t responsible for everything. Give them a break from some of their responsibilities.
  • Clean up the house or the area they’re in. Give them a sense that things are in order.
  • Remind them that nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes if they’re being self-critical.
  • After they’ve had a chance to calm down, give them something safe to play at. Watch a comedy with them, get them outside, or make them laugh.

Enneagram 2 in Stress

 What Stresses Out the Two Enneatype?

  • Being taken for granted
  • Too much time alone
  • Feeling unloved for who they are
  • Saying “yes” to too many things and burning themselves out
  • Not getting affirmation or gratitude for their kind deeds
  • Feeling left out
  • Being around emotionally distant people
  • Not having their kindness reciprocated
  • Not feeling needed

The core desire of the two is to feel loved for who they truly are. These types need to nurture themselves as much as they nurture others, but often they overextend themselves on others’ behalf. They hope that through selfless pursuits they will earn a sense of worth and love. When these types are severely stressed they become more blunt and aggressive. Usually kind-hearted and gentle, they suddenly reveal a shocking inner toughness. They will confront people directly for their misdeeds and won’t hold back in arguments that they’d normally shy away from. This fiery resolve and directness is usually shocking to people who are used to their normal gregarious, empathetic demeanor. While this is happening, Twos become more concerned with their survival. They’ll work harder and become more controlling of the world around them.

How to Help a Two Experiencing Stress:

  • Show them you care and acknowledge the kind things they have done.
  • Help them set healthy boundaries so that they don’t keep overextending themselves.
  • Remind them that they don’t need to worry so much about what other people think of them. Remind them of who their loyal friends and loved ones are – and that it’s okay not to be “perfect.”
  • Realize that they might be more confrontational and aggressive than usual. Understand that this is temporary, and try not to judge too harshly unless they are endangering someone.
  • Ask them if they want to vent, write down their feelings, or listen to a particular song to find a mirror for their feelings.
  • Help them find creative modes of self-expression like drawing, singing, or writing.
  • Tell them that it’s not selfish for them to take care of themselves and spend time on their own pursuits.
  • Help them cancel some of their non-essential obligations.

Enneagram 3 in Stress

What Stresses Out Enneagram Threes:

  • Not seeing progress towards a goal.
  • Feeling like a failure.
  • Feeling incompetent or being around incompetence.
  • Not being acknowledged for what they do.
  • Not accomplishing things.
  • Losing.
  • Comparing themselves to others who are highly successful.
  • Feeling worthless or undesirable.
  • Not being challenged.
  • Being around people who lack vision.

Highly-focused and driven to succeed, Threes often burn themselves out trying to be the best at whatever they do. Not afraid of a challenge, they enjoy proving themselves and standing out amid a crowd of mediocre individuals. However, when they are highly stressed they can push themselves way too hard and punish themselves too viciously for their failures. When extreme stress hits, they can suddenly flip a switch and become more listless and apathetic. They fill their time with busywork to try to avoid facing the reality of the problems they’re dealing with. Instead of actually doing anything, they may get caught up in fantasies of their next big success. They also may feel more hyper-sensitive than usual, but will avoid facing their feelings directly. These stress episodes are confusing for them and their loved ones because they’re typically so hard-working and ambitious.

How to Help a Stressed-Out Three:

  • Let them take off their “mask” of competence and capability. Patiently let them talk about what’s bothering them or give them time alone to decompress.
  • Help them take deep breaths and tune into their body. Are they hungry? Thirsty? Tired? In pain? Help them recognize their physical needs.
  • Encourage them (non-forcefully) to talk about their feelings. Remind them that you’re there to listen, not to judge. Give them a safe space to express their vulnerabilities without judging, offering advice, or coddling them. Simply listen.
  • Be authentic about your own vulnerabilities – this will help them to feel safe being vulnerable with you.
  • Draw their attention towards a creative avenue. Creative activity often helps Threes tremendously. Give them time to write, draw, listen to music, etc,.
  • Acknowledge their successes and how they’ve helped you.
  • Try to clean any messes in their surroundings. Disordered external surroundings tend to stress them.

Enneagram 4 in Stress

What Stresses Out Enneagram 4s:

  • Having to go along with the crowd.
  • Too many external pressures.
  • Feeling misunderstood or criticized.
  • Being micro-managed.
  • Being forced to follow a lot of rules and guidelines.
  • Not making progress on their creative goals.
  • Having to put on a “happy face” when they are struggling emotionally.
  • Having their feelings dismissed.
  • Living in dull, non-personalized surroundings.
  • Feeling creatively blocked.

Imaginative and melancholy, Fours believe in being deeply authentic and finding their unique identity in the world. They hate feeling forced into a box or unable to express their true feelings and ideals. When stressed, Fours tend to isolate themselves and brood over their negative feelings. They dwell on the darkness of their emotions and allow those feelings to engulf them. If stress increases to an extreme level, they may suddenly change and become more outgoing and anxious for human interaction. They might try too hard to please others or find ways to get closer to people. They will seem more needy, expressive, and people-pleasing. They crave affirmation and are terrified of being abandoned or rejected. They will try to help others in order to regain a sense of being needed by the ones they love.

How to Help a Stressed-Out Four:

  • Allow them to express their feelings. Don’t tell them how they feel or cut them off. Understand that their feelings are unique to them.
  • Remind them of what’s real and what they can count on. Don’t minimize their feelings, but point out the reality of the situation while empathizing with them.
  • Remind them of their talents and strengths.
  • Help them set up some positive routines that will create a more peaceful atmosphere in their home.
  • Set up healthy boundaries if they are regularly using you as an emotional dumping ground.
  • Remind them of what’s positive in the present moment.
  • Offer empathy before advice.
  • Let them know that they are lovable regardless of how different they are from others.

Read This Next: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram 4 Personality Type

Enneagram 5 in Stress

What Stresses Out Enneagram 5s:

  • Not getting enough alone time.
  • Being “barged in on.”
  • Feeling incompetent or incapable.
  • Feeling too detached from the physical world.
  • Physical malnutrition and neglect.
  • Being overwhelmed by fears and dark thoughts.
  • Not finding a niche for themselves.
  • Feeling like life is meaningless.
  • Extreme isolation and lack of connection.

Fives crave mastery in something that will set them apart from others. These types often grew up feeling misunderstood and lost in their families. They worried that they weren’t capable of handling whatever life hurled at them, and hoped that through mastery in a niche area they could feel competent. However, many Fives search endlessly for mastery and knowledge, only to get lost in theoretical analysis over real-world experience. Over time, they can become reclusive, detached, and anxious. Stress builds as they sense their growing detachment from reality and their own physical bodies. During regular stress, they try to get away from the world and narrow their focus on their niche interest. As stress builds, they become increasingly distractible. They may drink too much, binge eat, go to parties, clubs, and bars in search of an escape from their stress. They may seem especially aggressive and insensitive during these moments.

How to Help a Stressed-Out Five:

  • Help them to quiet their mind. Guide them through deep breathing and help them relax their body.
  • Help them tune into their body. Are they exhausted? Dehydrated? Hungry? In pain? Fives often detach from their physical needs under stress. Help guide them back to their bodies so that they can get physical peace.
  • Get them involved in a healthy activity. Take a walk, jump on a trampoline, go to the zoo, practice martial arts. These activities can reduce stress tremendously.
  • Remind them that you’ll be there for them regardless of whatever happens. Let them know that it’s okay to tell you about their needs and that it doesn’t make them “weak.”
  • Recognize their accomplishments and unique abilities.
  • Help them put their knowledge to the test in the real world when they’re feeling less stressed. The more they actualize their abilities the happier they will become.
  • Let them feel their grief. Show that you are trustworthy. Don’t coddle them or overly sympathize. Just show that you are there for them and remind them not to swallow their feelings. Encourage them to express themselves so that they can find relief.
  • Respect their need for privacy.
  • Don’t interrupt them or barge in on them.

Read This Next: 7 Struggles of the Enneagram Five Personality Type

Enneagram 6 in Stress

What Stresses Out Enneagram Sixes:

  • Undependable people
  • Disorder in their environment
  • Corruption or chaos in the world
  • Not trusting themselves
  • Not having a sense of community or support
  • Getting lost in catastrophizing
  • Feeling unsafe
  • Lack of structure or clarity
  • Burnout from over-committing and taking on too many responsibilities
  • Not finding answers to their questions
  • Wishy-washy behavior
  • Having other people decide for them
  • Feeling distrustful of people close to them
  • Making mistakes

Hard-working and loyal, Sixes crave an environment of security, support, and structure. They like knowing what’s going to happen and when it’s going to happen. Natural catastrophizers, they prepare for worst-case scenarios and are vigilant to any potential disaster. Under stress, Sixes become hyper-aware of all that could go wrong. They become exceedingly anxious and envision horrific possibilities at every turn. They get lost in endless thoughts and negative possibilities and may get caught up in researching solutions or news stories that might provide answers. They may also seek an authority or guide to help them find the best way to handle the situation. If stress builds to extreme levels, they disintegrate to 3. When this happens, they become more image-conscious and focused on how they appear to others. They may put on a persona of professionalism and confidence, becoming boastful and self-promoting. Their work absorbs them and they become fixated on achievement. By being competitive and ambitious they hope they can assuage their low self-esteem and brutal anxiety.

How to Help a Stressed-Out Six:

  • Remind them of what’s real and dependable.
  • Ask them to assume the worst happens. Then what they will do? Letting them talk it out can help them to calm down and realistically assess the situation.
  • Remind them that the worst could happen, but that the best could happen as well.
  • Don’t patronize their fears.
  • Follow through on your commitments and promises.
  • Remind them that you’re there for them.
  • Help them tune into their body. Guide them through deep breathing.
  • Ask them to assess their physical needs. Are they hungry? Tired? Thirsty? Remind them not to forget their physical needs.
  • Exercise with them or go for a walk. This can increase stress-reducing endorphins in the brain.
  • Help them to calm the flurry of internal voices in their mind. Encourage them to listen to their heart and instincts.
  • Make sure they’re getting time alone.
  • Help them cancel non-essential responsibilities that are overwhelming them.

Enneagram 7 in Stress

What Stresses Out Enneagram 7s:

  • Being micro-managed
  • Not having enough personal freedom
  • Lack of free, unstructured time
  • Excessive responsibilities
  • Being cooped up for too long
  • Being stuck in one place for too long
  • Boredom
  • Doing nitty-gritty, detail work
  • Financial problems
  • Being stuck in a routine
  • Lack of loyal friendships

Sevens are enthusiastic and innovative, finding possibility in even the direst situations. Because they’re so creative it’s typically easy for them to reframe a negative situation into a positive one. That said, they still experience stress just like everyone does. When Sevens are stressed, they become more escapist and impulsive. They’ll fixate on finding a fun activity or experience to pursue, and may become more hedonistic or scattered than usual. If stress builds to extreme degrees, they can disintegrate to One. When this happens, they restrain their normally free-spirited behaviors. They will work harder, educate people, and become more critical and judgmental. They may even scold, nitpick, or become sarcastic with people – noticing all their flaws and the flaws of others.

How to Help a Stressed Enneagram Seven:

  • Help them to calm down and take deep breaths.
  • Guide them through observing their feelings, both physical and emotional. They may dislike this initially and need some time alone first. It’s important for them to do this, though, either alone or with someone they can trust.
  • Meditation can be very helpful for Sevens. Encourage them to stick with this, even if it seems boring.
  • Encourage them to accept pain as well as pleasure. Help them to realize that pain is an integral part of life and will help them grow.
  • Be supportive as they vent or try to deal with their grief.
  • Give them delicious, healthy snacks to enjoy.
  • Help them to find a song that mirrors their emotions and listen to it with them.

Enneagram 8 in Stress

What Stresses Out Enneagram 8s:

  • Feeling out of control
  • Being micro-managed
  • Having to be a follower
  • Having their autonomy infringed upon
  • Not seeing progress towards a goal
  • Failure
  • Wishy-washy, vapid people
  • Manipulative people
  • Having to sugarcoat things
  • Having to play it safe
  • Being around corruption
  • Not being challenged

Charismatic and strong-willed, Eights crave freedom and a sense of power in their world. They need independence, and any situation that takes that away from them can create an enormous amount of stress and anger. During stress, Eights become more confrontational than usual and can work harder, trying to achieve more independence and control in their lives. If stress builds to extreme degrees, Eights can suddenly become reclusive and withdrawn. They get stuck in analysis, reading, and info-gathering, trying to find subjects to master in an attempt to feel competent again. They may stop taking care of themselves physically and become more quiet and detached than usual.

How to Help a Stressed-Out Enneagram Eight:

  • Prove that you are someone they can trust. Follow through on your promises and mean what you say.
  • Give them some time to themselves to decompress and sort things out.
  • Help them to tune into their breathing and calm their body.
  • Remind them that it’s okay to let down their guard around you. Let them know this doesn’t make them “weak.”
  • Let them know if they are intimidating you.
  • Show them that progress is being made towards a goal.
  • Be clear and direct with them, but understanding.

Enneagram 9 in Stress

What Stresses Out Enneagram 9s:

  • Conflict in their environment
  • Being with people who are making a “scene”
  • Being forced into a position
  • Being ignored or passed over
  • Saying “yes” to things they don’t want to do
  • Dealing with peer pressure
  • Losing relationships that are important to them
  • Suppressing anger for too long
  • Having too many demands on their time

Nines crave inner harmony and peace. They want time to themselves to imagine, contemplate, and explore. They enjoy peaceful, harmonious environments and freedom. During stress, they try to downplay their own choices and needs in an effort to create inner peace as well as outer peace. They worry that by asserting themselves they will create more conflict, both inside and outside. They try to suppress their anger, fearing that it will fragment or destroy them in some way. If stress increases to extreme levels, Nines fixate on forming relationships and security. They worry about worst-case scenarios and become uncharacteristically pessimistic and paranoid. They might blame other people for their problems or bring up long-stifled complaints about others. Their normally serene nature cracks to reveal numerous anxieties and frustrations under the surface.

How to Help a Stressed-Out Nine:

  • Give them permission to assert themselves and their needs. Ask them to “let it all out” and remind them that this is a judgment-free zone.
  • Give them some space and time to themselves.
  • Remind them that it’s okay to say “No” to things they don’t want to do.
  • Recognize their unique talents and encourage them to pursue them.
  • Help them process their anger. Remind them that anger isn’t always a bad thing. Use examples if possible.
  • Help them tune into their bodies. What do they need physically? Help them to take deep breaths.
  • Go for a jog with them or engage in some other form of exercise. This will help them to de-stress and process some of their feelings.

What Are Your Thoughts?

Do you have any suggestions for people with your enneatype? Let us know in the comments!

Find out more about your personality type in our eBooks, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type,  The INFJ – Understanding the Mystic, and The INFP – Understanding the Dreamer. You can also connect with me via FacebookInstagram, or Twitter!

Find out how each enneagram type reacts to stress and how to effectively help them. #Enneagram #Personality

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4 Comments

  1. I’m an INFP, and recently tested as a 4w5 on the Enneagram Test. I’ve read descriptions about the Type Four personality and feel that it suits me more than any other as far as a fundamental enneatype is concerned. I’ve also read about how Fours integrate into Ones under growth, but Ones disintegrate into Fours under stress. After reading this article, I still feel that Type Four matches me the best, but I also related a lot to the stressors of Type One, which confuses me a little since Fours disintegrate into Twos under stress (I also identified with the stressors of Type Two, which I guess is to be expected given this relationship between Four and Two). Is it possible for a Four to experience the same stressors of the One since unhealthy Ones equate to unhealthy Fours?

  2. I can’t remember what type I am from testing a while back, 4 or 5 maybe, but regardless, I feel stressed out by 95% of the things on every type’s list.

  3. I am type 5w6 and the above descriptions about them are spot on, especially in feeling incompetent or incapable and being distrustful of people, especially of friends or close ones.

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Subtypes

27 SUBTYPES | THE THREE INSTINCTS OF THE ENNEAGRAM TYPES

We have three basic instinctual drives that are essential for human experience, all three residing in us as necessary body-based primal forces. They are separate from personality and are behind our life strategies, often unconscious, yet powerfully directing our fundamental way of being. While these instincts are always there, one of the three becomes dominant and is more easily accessed and, therefore, more easily used than the others. When the dominant instinct merges with the core Enneagram a new character structure is formed. These are the 27 Subtypes according to the model of Claudio Naranjo.

The iEQ9 Integrative Enneagram incorporates the ‘instincts of human behaviour’ which overlay our type, merging an instinctual need with the emotional need or fear of the core Enneagram type. If one imagines the Enneagram as a plate of food, the instinct determines what you eat first or last. This relates to what we believe is good for us, or what we believe we require to get what we want and need in this world.

These instincts relate to fundamental instinctual intelligences that have developed to ensure our survival as individuals and as a human species. Recent advances in neuroscience research have confirmed the strong and often-invisible way these instincts ‘show up’ in modern society, for example, how a perceived threat to social status can trigger a primal fight-or-flight reaction.

To explore the 27 Subtypes, select an Enneagram Type below to display that Type’s 3 instinctual subtypes.

SELF PRESERVATION

We each have a self-preservation instinct, to preserve our body, its life and effective function. This instinct, therefore, focuses us on physical safety, well-being, material security and comfort. Anxiety or stress may combine with this instinct to drive us to conserve or hoard energy and resources in response to demands from the environment or other people.

ONE-ON-ONE

We each have a drive to project ourselves into the environment, form alliances and extend ourselves through the generations – either literally by passing on our DNA or more symbolically by passing on ideas, leaving a legacy. This instinct focuses on the intensity of experiences and one-on-one relationships, driving us to actively seek out opportunities that promise strong energetic connections with others.

SOCIAL

We each have a social instinct to get along with others and form secure social bonds. This brings a focus on interactions and relationships with communities and groups and a high ‘social awareness’ of norms and status levels in groups. This instinct focuses energy on working towards shared purpose or the greater good.

Enneagram BASIC FEARS AND DISTORTIONS AND PATTERNS TO BE AWARE OF

Type 1 – Fear of being bad, corrupt, evil, or defective.

The desire to have integrity (deteriorates into critical perfection).

Value-judging, condemning yourself and others.

Type 2 – Fear of being unworthy or unloved.

The desire to be loved (deteriorates into the need to be needed).

Giving your value away to others.

Type 3 – Fear of being worthless or without inherent value.

The desire to be valuable (deteriorates into chasing after success).

Trying to be other than you authentically are.

Type 4 – Fear of being without identity or personal significance.

The desire to be oneself (deteriorates into self-indulgence).

Making negative comparisons.

Type 5 – Fear of being useless, incapable, or incompetent.

The desire to be competent (deteriorates into useless specialization).

Over interpreting your experience.

Type 6 – Fear of being without support or guidance.

The desire to be secure (deteriorates into attachment to beliefs).

Becoming dependent on something outside yourself for support.

Type 7 – Fear of being deprived or trapped in pain.

The desire to be happy (deteriorates into frenetic escapism).

Anticipating what you are going to do next.

Type 8 – Fear of being harmed or controlled by others.

The desire to protect oneself (deteriorates into constant fighting).

Trying to force or control your life.

Type 9 – Fear of loss of connection, of fragmentation.

The desire to be at peace (deteriorates into stubborn neglectfulness).

Resisting being affected by your experiences.