Personality Style THREE: The Effective Person
Core Value Tendency: THREES are attracted to and value efficiency, industriousness, and competence. They want to be productive persons, seeking to make the world a more efficient place to live in. Bringing projects to completion, accomplishing goals, working effectively is what life is about. The cosmos is an orderly harmonious system and THREES work to keep it running smoothly.
Adaptive Cognitive Schema: Hope is the principle and attitude THREES have to keep them living in the real world. Hope believes the cosmos works effectively within and according to its own laws. It will continue to run smoothly even when THREES are not working. Entropy won’t occur the instant THREES take time off. The most effective way to function is in harmony with these natural, personal, and social norms and processes.
Adaptive Emotional Schema: The state that accompanies THREES objective paradigm is truthfulness, the acceptance and expression of their inner self as it actually is without covering, exaggerating, or marketing it with external images, roles, and personas. THREES remain true to themselves and their commitments vs assuming whatever appearance they believe will make them look successful in the eyes of others.
Adaptive Behavioral Schemas: THREES have a natural organizational ability, easily assessing a situation, setting goals, and working efficiently and single mindedly toward them. They know how to get things done. They are optimistic, enthusiastic, and self confident. THREES are motivated and motivating. Being good salespeople, they intuitively know how to present themselves and their product. They can translate ideas into workable saleable systems. They are good team people and effective managers. They are pragmatic and can compromise to get projects on line and accomplished. They have the ability to sense what others want and expect from them and can adapt to fit that image thereby winning people over to their side.
Maladaptive Cognitive Schema: When THREES exaggerate their efficient qualities, they over-identify with the idealized self image of I am successful. To compensate for their maladaptive belief that they are failures and will be rejected, they become over-programmed, overly efficient, and can become workaholics.
Maladaptive Emotional Schema: Perceiving themselves as successful entrepreneurs, THREES believe they are above normal protocols and are not constrained by the laws and conventions that others live by. They deceive themselves and others into believing how successful they are. Their energy goes into their image, their public self, and the persona they think others want them to be. Over identifying with their roles and projects, they convince themselves this is who they really are.
Maladaptive Behavioral Schemas: Perceiving the world as disorganized, and presenting themselves as efficiency experts, THREES become workaholics, falling into Type A behavior, driven to succeed and climb the ladder of status and prestige. It’s hard for THREES to stay with their own feelings, desires, and preferences. It’s important to them to look good not to feel good. Work takes precedence over self. It’s conflictual for THREES to do something unpopular, to espouse values that get unfavorable audience response. They are pragmatists. The end justifies the means. If it works, it’s good.
What is Avoided: Since they strive to be successful, THREES avoid failure. They don’t undertake projects unless they sense they can complete them. Their motto is: In life there are no failures, only learning experiences.
Defensive Maneuvers: THREES avoid failure by identification with their successful image, role, and projects. They change appearances, careers, interests in a chameleon-like manner to keep up with whatever image is currently popular.
Childhood Development: THREES got approval for their achievements. Their worth derived from what they did instead of from who they were. Performance and image were rewarded in place of personal disclosure and emotional connections with others. Looking good, getting ahead, being successful were emphasized in their family. Being adaptable helped them survive. Assuming the role and persona others wanted them to be increased their recognition, status, and prestige.
Non-Resourceful State: When THREES are under stress, they do more of the same, that is, they become more efficient and organized, work more frenetically, take on more projects, are on the go more, shake more hands, and advertise themselves more. When this doesn’t work, they turn off their smooth running machine and stop. Doubting, numbing, neglecting themselves, avoiding responsibilities, and resigning themselves to failure, they go from exertion to exhaustion. They drop out and turn off. In this depressed state, their belief is their efforts don’t matter, so what’s the difference, why bother.
Resourceful State: When THREES are in a resourceful relaxed state, they get in touch with their inner feelings, preferences, and desires. They are honest and resist changing themselves to manipulate others. They show their true colors. They are loyal to themselves and to their values. They stay with what they believe in vs switching to what is popular. They are also loyal to others. They are trustworthy as well as competent. This combination makes them good leaders. They cooperate with others vs compete with them. They trust that others will get things done in their own way and in their own time. They embrace failure as a natural part of life. This loosens the hold of their image and helps them connect with their true self and with others. Now able to say to themselves I am loyal, I do what I ought to do, they believe they are acceptable as themselves. I am therefore I am active replaces I perform and produce therefore I am O.K.
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