Personality Style SIX: The Loyal Person
Core Value Tendency: SIXES are attracted to and value loyalty. They desire to be faithful, conscientious, responsible persons, keeping their word and honoring their commitments. They want to make the world a safer, more secure, more reliable, trustworthy place to live in. Doing your duty and honoring your traditions is what life is all about.
Adaptive Cognitive Schema: Faith is the objective principle that keeps SIXES connected to their true self and to reality. When SIXES believe in themselves and in their inner authority, they have the certitude that they are already on the side of Being. The Force is with them. They believe the universe is ultimately trustworthy and is out to do them well, not to do them in. When SIXES are in touch with their genuine self and others’ true selves, they are neither afraid nor need to prove their strength and loyalty. Courage and commitment are naturally present.
Adaptive Emotional Schema: The state that accompanies the SIXES objective paradigm is courage, an inner strength that comes from being in touch with one’s inner self and with the objective laws of reality. Courage involves taking responsibility for one’s own beliefs, decisions, and actions. It is the “courage to be” oneself. Any organism spontaneously responds to protect itself and what it values.
Adaptive Behavioral Schemas: Faith and courage lead to being semper fidelis and semper paratus, always faithful and always prepared. SIXES actively scan their surroundings for what might go wrong. They have an intuitive sense for danger and so are rarely caught off guard. SIXES respond well in emergencies because they are usually prepared for them. When crises arise, they respond spontaneously and effectively. Since SIXES are conscientious, responsible, and value doing their duty, they make excellent stabilizers and maintainers in organizations and systems. They can be trusted to be reliable leaders and faithful followers. Because they keep their word, SIXES manifest a stick-to-it-ness and their commitments can be counted on.
Maladaptive Cognitive Schema: When SIXES exaggerate their loyal qualities, they over-identify with the idealized self image of I am loyal; I do my duty. To compensate for a set of maladaptive beliefs that they are not strong or faithful enough, that they may be cast out of their group, that they are likely to be harmed, they become overly suspicious and circumspect, doubting their own orthodoxy and ability to protect themselves and doubting the good intentions of others. The world is seen as a dangerous place that needs to be monitored, guarded against, and restrained.
Maladaptive Emotional Schema: As a consequence of living in an unpredictable and hostile world, SIXES experience the passion of fear. Mistrusting their own common sense and inner authority, they fear they may not be up to the task or challenge, and may let others and especially authority down. They fear the judgments and actions of authorities.
Maladaptive Behavioral Schema: Perennially perceiving the world as threatening and dangerous, and feeling fearful most of the time, SIXES adopt either a phobic or counterphobic stance. From a fearful reactionary place, they let their worries inhibit them, doubting their decisions and delaying their actions. From a counter-fearful position, they impulsively push through their fears, often recklessly pursuing, attacking, or acting out the very thing they are afraid of.
What is Avoided: Seeking to be safe, phobic SIXES avoid being rebellious or devious. Counterphobic SIXES avoid being caught off guard with no exits. SIXES avoid ambiguous ideas, positions, relationships, and situations. They want things clear and want to know where other people really stand on issues. They can be dogmatic, fanatic, vigilantes, brave and daring to compensate for feeling phobic. SIXES may avoid making their own judgments and decisions without the confirmation of someone else. They don’t trust their spontaneous reactions.
Defensive Maneuvers: SIXES ward off unacceptable impulses and behaviors by projecting them onto others, thereby keeping them away from their sense of self. Instead of acknowledging their own anger at having their inner authority encroached or disrespected, SIXES project their anger onto others and then experience the world as hostile and threatening. They give away their authority and then either fearfully go along with what they are told or challenge any external authority in a reactionary manner. SIXES may either become defenders of the faith or conscientious objectors.
Childhood Development: SIXES often had caretakers who did not wield their authority well. They may have been abusive, authoritarian, absent, overly protective, or inconsistent. SIXES learned the world was dangerous and unreliable. They developed a wary ambivalent attitude toward authority figures. Either they wanted to get authority on their side to protect them or they needed to oppose authority to protect themselves. Their “fearful mind” developed to help them sense and ward off danger, protecting them from being caught off guard or betrayed.
Non-Resourceful State: When SIXES are under stress, they trust themselves less and become more worrisome and indecisive. They might become more dogmatic and orthodox to resolve their doubts. Or they might become more suspicious of others and be more rebellious against any form of authority. They take on more projects, get busy and run around instead of dealing with their inner fears. They may assume a role or identify within some group to feel more secure, becoming devoted followers or loyal middle managers.
Resourceful State: When SIXES are in a resourceful relaxed state, they get in touch with their inner authority. They trust their instincts and have faith in themselves. They accept the responsibility for their own choices and act on them courageously. They believe they can take care of themselves in an emergency. They believe the world is on their side vs against them. They remain calm and say to themselves: “I am settled” vs I am upset. They make molehills out of mountains instead of vice versa, realizing they tend to imagine the worst, blow things out of proportion, and see danger and evil intentions where there are only inconveniences and inadvertences. They find truth in all sides of an issue vs polarizing issues into who is on their side and who is against them. I am therefore I am courageous replaces I am loyal therefore I’m O.K.
