Overview of the sexual instinct
It is frequent that newer students of the Enneagram identify themselves as being dominant in the sexual instinct. The sexual instinct is nothing to do with seeking intimacy or having the preference for one on one conversation/connections. The sexual instinct motivates us to invest energy in ourselves – our passions, our interests and our self-expression – both for the sake of those pursuits and as a way to cultivate fascination and hook potential sexual partners. It leads us to find personal and interpersonal edges. The sexual instinct is aware of our chemistry with others as a means of recognising creative potential.
This instinct is inherently conflictual with the self-preservation instinct because it says “screw safety, give me intensity.” Without the grounding of self-preservation and the contextual awareness of the social instinct, the sexual instinct can render us unconcerned with consequences.
Names given to this instinct
Syntony/adaptation (Ichazo), sexual (Naranjo), the transmitting domain (Mario Sikora)
Names given to sexual subtypes (Russ Hudson’s)
Eight: Taking Charge; Seven: Fascination; Six: Feisty Vulnerability; Five: This is my World; Four: Infatuation; Three: the Catch; Two: Craving Intimacy; One: Shared Standards/Chivalry; Nine: Merging
General characteristics of sexual types
Sexual types – general characteristics
Being identified with the need to elicit the sexual choice of potential mates. For sexual types, much of their identity is organised around being able to win out over the sexual competition.
Attempt to distinguish themselves in a distinct and enticing way, broadcasting a unique and idiosyncratic flavour.
Vacillate between pouring intense focus into the object of desire, and putting energy into interests, traits and talents that function like a peacock’s tail.
Energy galvanises when interested, and contracts when uninterested, abruptly shifting from intense urgency, activation, focus and preoccupation on a specific person to hastily veering attention away/cooling off.
High tolerance for being locked on to a person but thrives on creating tension rather than ease.
Desire for desire leads to an experimental approach to life, and willingness to abruptly change course and follow it to consumption/exhaustion.
Voraciously follow their passion beyond where most have the fire to go. Can have a hard time mobilising energy for practical or social reasons, leading to inability for desires/aspirations to really take off.
Trust pull of attraction without concerning themselves with the hows, few qualms about following inspirations. When inbalanced, they can be slavishly devoted to someone for whom there is attraction but is toxic.
Uninterested in remaining intact, so whatever is established holds little appeal. Can take the direction of needing to escalate situations needlessly.
Typically don’t have a great deal of stability in lifestyle, nor are inclined to cultivate deep roots anywhere.
Characteristics are from John Luckovich’s book, the Instinctual Drives and the Enneagram.
Zones of the sexual instinct
Russ Hudson has identified three zones (or sub-domains) to the sexual instinct:
- Broadcasting and charisma
- Exploration and edge
- Merging
He has broken the categories down further as follows:
Zones of the sexual instinct
=Zone 1: Broadcasting and charisma
Transmitting. Initiating energy that broadcasts. People who have a lot of this often complain that they’re being misunderstood.
Display. Doing behaviours to get yourself noticed. “Check me out”. Need to be seen. Money and wealth as display is self preservation/sexual.
Being attracted and following energy. It is difficult to pay attention when it isn’t there.
Choosing / fitness. Evaluating post attraction. Auditioning and being aware of being auditioned.
Competition/ winning. Aggression.
Zone 2 – Exploration and edge
Activation and arousal.
Taking risks and having adventures.
Getting out of comfort zone. Breaking habits and feeling soggy in routine.
Seeking stimulation.
Following and honouring impulses and inspirations.
Zone 3 – Merging
Disappearing into something or someone. This is restorative as it gets us away from ego self.
Intense focus and concentration applied to activity. But if nothing to lock in on, very distracted and restless.
Losing boundaries and sense of self.
Spending energy. Pouring self into something and giving self wholeheartedly.
Seeking fusion and at oneness.
How it looks when sexual is present, dominant, ‘blind’/repressed
Those of us who are dominant or repressed/blind in sexual experience similar challenges. See the table below.
Present, dominant, blind characteristics
Present
Attraction and magnetism: Being aware of attractions and lack of attraction. Putting energy into being attractive through highlighting strengths/features. Heightened charisma Broadcast a quality of energy that commands attention. We are attracted to people and things that are good for us, that evolve us.
Exploration and edge: More interested in experiencing life powerfully than they are in stability or security. Being drawn to the edges of life and discovering their own edges, energetically. Helps us to get out of our lethargy, our comfortable ‘sleep.’ It activates us and brings us back to the wakeful intensity of this moment.
Fusion/merging: Urge to lose ourselves in something or someone (could be a person, a piece of music or an engrossing book.) We seek conversations where the rest of the world seems to fall away. Leads to a beautiful capacity for focus and for being with the energy of another. Can evolve into a fiery commitment to our awakening, and to staying on track with our practice regardless of what arises.
Dominant/distorted
Attraction and magnetism: We get attracted to people and situations that are repetitions of our narcissistic wounds. We keep signing up for the same hurts and heartbreaks.
Exploration and edge: We are restless and in search of stimulation, distracted from our being.
Fusion/merging: There is a recurrent pattern of losing ourselves in relationships as well as in preoccupations – a difficulty holding a middle ground. all or nothing.
Blind
Attraction and magnetism: Difficult time sensing what turns us on, and getting beyond familiar boundaries and comfort zones. Perceive others’ sexual energy as dangerous and narcissistic.
Exploration and edge: We stay in our comfort zones and are disturbed by others who want to challenge themselves.
Fusion/merging: Appear to have no passion or commitment to anything.
Points to note:
- Being present in the sexual instinct means being willing to disrupt our routines or risk the disapproval of our social groups for the sake of evolving and transforming. It means being receptive to others’ sexual energy (not judging it) and being tapped into our own. And it means being aware of the charge in our batteries and when it is low, seeking stimulation.
- Being narcissistically concerned or fearful about sexual matters is a pointer towards the sexual instinct being on overdrive.
- Being apathetic, negative or judgmental towards others who honor this instinct may indicate a repressed relationship with this instinct.
- Rarely are we effective across all three of the areas – even when the instinct is dominant or secondary.
Sexual blind characteristics
We develop our habituated stances with the instincts at least partly in response to events and situations in the early nurturing environment.
When you get a clear picture of how you relate to each instinct, often it paints a story/evokes memories of when the instinct priority may have been established.
Related to this idea is the idea that we hold deeply unconscious beliefs about the meaning of this instinct. You may unconsciously believe that by expressing sexual (by being too provocative or unstable):
- it will create scarcity and harm by undermining resources and foundations. This belief is associated with self-preservation/social types;
- you will alienate others and be ostracised or abandoned. This belief is associated with social/self-preservation types.
Sexual blind types – general charactersitics
Feel that there is no acceptable arena for relenting to irrational impulses.
There’s a limit to which they won’t let themselves go, or be swept up in something.
Experience the strong obligation to dampen and self-contain, which can effectively limit certain avenues of self-expansion and creativity.
Has the tendency to overemphasise a sense of being consistent, responsible, acceptable and sensible.
Struggle in registering impressions and sensations about what turns them on or trusting chemistry.
Avoids risks to own identity.
Chemistry tends not to be on radar, there is a bluntness to how they approach sex and sexuality, and they can miss or not see the dance of sexual display and attraction.
Appeal of others can be based on affinity and like-mindedness rather than the tension of polarities which sparks chemistry.
Can avoid fully articulating projects and talents for fear of putting others off or offending them. Can be blind to their vibrancy and inadequate attention to self-expression can result in them feeling unremarkable and bland.
May be obsessive about their interests but have the quality of being outside of them.
May experience alienation or lack of comfort with inhabiting the sensation of the pelvis.
Characteristics are from John Luckovich’s book, the Instinctual Drives and the Enneagram.
Development of sexual
Developmental opportunities are more likely than not for dominants and blinds. For sexual types, there may be an issue that is caused by the passion of your type in one of the sexual zones. For sexual blinds, there may be multiple issues caused by neglect in the sexual zones.
Actualised sexual instinct
When the sexual instinct is integrated, it helps us to go for what enlivens and arouses us, invest in ourselves, individuate, develop and express ourselves, and leads us to uncover what expands our felt sense of aliveness.
Russ Hudson describes the transmuted instinct as leading to the unstoppable passion for development and the unwavering devotion to the beloved.
Instinct and type combinations
A note about contradictions with type
For certain types, the sexual focus appears to contradict the passion of the Enneagram type. Building on the work of her teacher Claudio Naranjo, Beatrice Chestnut calls this situation ‘countertype’.
At the end of the day, however, the instincts and the passions are a measure of two different things. Also, there can be unexpected aspects or traits with all the 27 instinct/type combinations.
The best application of the theory of countertype is just to bear in mind that it can be difficult for certain sexual subtypes to identify their core type from the prevalent descriptions. Otherwise, paying too much attention to any contradictions (or allowing for too many) isn’t helpful.
The subtype pattern
Beatrice Chestnut and Uranio Paes have identified some key interventions to do to that counteract or work with the preoccupations of the sexual subtypes. They are not exhaustive.
Sexual subtypes deconstructors (from CP Enneagram Academy, resource from the Workshop ‘Providing Practical Enneagram Solutions’)
Type Eight
Don’t take action, even when you feel a strong impulse to act; exercise discretion when feeling passionate; actively avoid being the centre of attention; be silent and self-contained; hand control over to other people; think more before acting.
Type Nine
Spend more time alone; separate yourself from important others; talk more about desires, wishes, thoughts and feelings; express opinions that are different from those closest to you; be assertive and bossy.
Type One
Own own flaws; smile sweetly when judging and blaming others; loosen rules for others whilst tightening up rules for self, especially around asserting needs and criticising or ‘helping’ others.
Type Two
Do things that will make you be seen as unattractive; talk about things that may disappoint or repel others; directly say when you don’t want to or don’t intend to support someone important.
Type Three
Become non attractive; dress badly; ask for more for yourself in close relationships; allow yourself to displease others; be the center of attention.
Type Four
Become slow and unenergetic; use a low voice; undertake a role of humbly helping others; talk about your pain and sadness; express shyness with soft voice; become a peacemaker; take an inferior position; don’t express anger.
Type Five
Engage in gossip and indiscretion; share deep feelings in group in a direct way before other people do it; be content with basic intimate relationship; express emotions more directly in plain words.
Type Six
Look weak and unattractive; express vulnerability; appear weak and fragile in a threatening situation; be very agreeable; hide or retreat when feeling fearful; share fears with others.
Type Seven
Adhere to routines; be pragmatic; focus on realistic or pessimistic data; stay with the pain and limitations on self and others; ask to see the negative data without looking at the positives.
How the passion manifests for sexual types
To read the three versions of a single type, you can do that on the type-specific pages.
Note that when we move along our connection points, we ‘keep the same instinct’ (and instinctual stacking). So if you hold questions about your type, read the self-preservation versions of the connection points as well. As a reminder:
- If you are a type Eight, that is types Two and Five
- For type Nines, that is types Three and Six
- If you are a type One, that is types Seven and Four
- For type Twos, that is types Four and Eight
- If you are a type Three, that is types Six and Nine
- For type Fours, that is type One and Two
- If you are a type Five, that is types Eight and Seven
- For type Sixes, that is types Nine and Three
- If you are a type Seven, that is types Five and One
How the passion shows up in sexual types
Type Eight: Seek essential power through intense sexual attraction and chemistry, and are excessively forceful in capturing the interest of the desired object.
Type Nine: Look to experience essential harmony through chemistry and sexual relationships, and attraction style tends to be more inviting than pursuing.
Type One: Seeks to experience essential integrity in sexual relationships and displays. Attempts to be best partner and have an untouchable kind of chemistry.
Type Two: Long to find essential love through romantic relationships and attractions.
Type Three: Seeks to experience essential value through desirability and magnestism of displays.
Type Four: Long to experience essential depth through their relationships, creativity and intense experiences.
Type Five: Look to experience essential insight in romantic relationships, chemistry and interests.
Type Six: Seek to experience essential truth through chemistry and in romantic relationships.
Type Seven: Want to experience essential freedom in chemistry, their fascinations and their romantic partnerships.
