Social Instinct

Overview of the social instinct

The newest instinctual drive in organisms, the social instinct is our relational drive. It motivates us to create relationships and care for the well-being of others. It includes our desire to positively enhance the lives of those we care for.

When this drive is active in us, we’re interested and curious about people beyond what they can be or do for us. The social drive is what helps us to assess who is and who isn’t a worthy friend, ally or partner, without losing sight of the humanity of those we are in conflict with.

The origin of the social instinct is the creation of the family unit. The social instinct is what makes us seek to represent ourselves in appearance, personal style and body language in a way that’s congruent with our social identity.

Names given to this instinct

Relations (Ichazo), Social (Naranjo), the Navigating domain (Mario Sikora).

Names given to social subtypes (Hudson’s)

Eight: Gusto and Comraderie; Nine: One Happy Family; One: the Crusader; Two: Unconscious Ambition; Three: Prestige; Four: the Outsider; Five: the Specialist; Six: Engaging Support; Seven: Missing Out.

You can read descriptions of the social subtypes below.

General characteristics of social types

Social types – general characteristics

Intensely aware that people are innately connected, rendering them sensitive to a wide range of interpersonal forces between themselves and others.

Attuned to the emotional atmosphere of their social milieu and the needs, agendas and states of others.

Motivated to develop gifts and capacities that contribute to others.

Especially capable in recognising the talents, gifts and contributions of others; better at seeing the values and gifts of others than their own.

Characteristically require a greater deal more interaction and involvement in others’ lives.

When balanced, can care for others and exhibit selflessness in another’s real need. Can become preoccupation with what others are thinking and feeling about them.

Often highly discerning and selective about who they connect with, yet willing to set aside certain prejudices in order to find common ground.

Awareness of attention towards others persists even when heartbroken or let down, and deeply cynical that anything good can come from relationships.

Find it easier to mobilise others than to find their own aim or individual path through life.

Characteristics are from John Luckovich’s book, the Instinctual Drives and the Enneagram.

Zones of the social instinct

Russ Hudson has identified three zones (or sub-domains) to the social instinct:

  1. Reading people and situations
  2. Connecting
  3. Participation

He has broken down the categories further as follows:

Zones of the social instinct

Zone 1: Reading people and situations

Reading facial expressions/body language/tone of voice/moods.

Reading between the lines.

Interest in others/attunement/tuning in.

Empathy/concern.

Adapting to cures/adjusting behaviour.

Zone 2: Connecting

Creating relationships: engaging others.

Sustaining relationships: maintaining connections and knowing when to end them.

Communication—speaking and listening.

Cooperation/reciprocity.

Play/shared enjoyment/celebration.

Zone 3: Participation

Getting involved or not: what do I participate in?

Need to contribute: something beyond my own needs.

Enrolling: getting others interested and involved in what I am passionate about.

Part of something bigger/sense of place.

Belonging and welcoming.

In most cases, you would expect social subtypes, or those for whom social is second in their instinct sequence, to give themselves high scores for these areas, and self-preservation ‘blind’ or repressed individuals to give themselves low scores.

How it looks when social is present, dominant, ‘blind’/repressed

Those of us who are dominant or repressed/blind in self-preservation experience similar challenges. See the table below.

Present, dominant, blind characteristics

Present  

Reading people: We easily pick-up cues from others and can read facial expressions and body language. We can read between the lines of what others are saying and we adapt accordingly. Helps us to navigate relationships and be good parents/caregivers. Helps us adapt and respond to what we detect in others.

Creating and maintaining connections: Work at relationships and strive for reciprocity. Helps us in our ability to engage others, and to strengthen connections when it serves our purposes or desires. We value communication.

Participation and contribution: Passionate about what we contribute to others. Participation also brings a sense of belonging: that we are welcomed and that what we are doing matters. Participation does not mean joining everything or always wanting to be around people. we could be introverts and love solitude but still have a strong drive to contribute. instinct helps us discern what we participate in, helps us realize what is not right for us.  At its best, is the drive that keeps us contributing to the human journey and creating a meaningful life for self and others.

Dominant/distorted 

Reading people: Anxieties and self-defeating behaviors, over-concern about others-fearing exclusion or being devalued. May reject our own knowing to please others.

Creating and maintaining connections: Deteriorate into codependent behaviors and anxious attempts to ingratiate ourselves with others.

Participation and contribution: Constant anxieties about belonging, creating in and out groups, and narcissistic needs to be important.

Blind

Reading people: We may stereotype its energy as exhausting small talk and aimless hanging out.

Creating and maintaining connections: We don’t see a point in connecting.

Participation and contribution: We may perceive ourselves as independent or that nothing we do matters.

Points to note:

  • Being present in the social instinct means attending to these life areas in healthy, non-neurotic, relaxed ways. It is knowing there is a need and meeting it without excess thought.
  • Being fearful about social is a pointer towards the social instinct being on overdrive.
  • Being apathetic, negative or judgmental towards others who honor this instinct may indicate a repressed relationship with this instinct.
  • Rarely are we effective across all three of the areas – even when the instinct is dominant or secondary.

Social blind characteristics

We develop our habituated stances with the instincts at least partly in response to events and situations in the early nurturing environment.

When you get a clear picture of how you relate to each instinct, often it paints a story/evokes memories of when the instinct priority may have been established.

Related to this idea is the idea that we hold deeply unconscious beliefs about the meaning of this instinct. You may unconsciously believe that by expressing social (by being too available and dispersed):

  • it will create scarcity and harm by undermining my resources. This belief is associated with self-preservation/sexual types.
  • you won’t be attractive and will be sexually overlooked. This belief is associated with sexual/self-preservation types.

Social blind types – general characteristics

Operate from a vague notion of the social architecture of interpersonal and group situations alike, so making efforts to connect or trying to participate in a social scene can seem taxing and lacking any clear benefit.

Engaging in the social sphere felt as a distinction dissolving ocean, and to open up to it would be to whitewash one’s uniqueness and focussed attention on personal interests.

There is the assumption that others will require an excessive compromise on boundaries, personal traits and identity.

Trying to keep up with what others and thinking and feeling feels like a fruitless expenditure of energy and is quickly dropped.

Often fail to put in the effort necessary to be involved in the lives of those they care for, leading to the deterioration of their relationships.

Give up on themselves as they can give up on others and assume the same in return.

Are mostly unconscious about their social fears and disappointments except in specific moments when their desire to connect arises.

Generally pretty comfortable with a good deal more isolation and non-interaction.

Underdeveloped relations style undermines aims of the other instincts.

Lack of being bound by social constraints, expectations or the need to anticipate how to remain on good social footing can be enviable to those with more social instinct.

Erase themselves and their contributions simply not seeing that they make an impact or have an impact to make.

Complete obliviousness to how benefiting others increases personal satisfaction.

Blind to how gifts, insight and understanding benefit others and fail to see how loved ones need them to show up.

Narcissism around autonomy including delusions about own self-reliance and of being self-made. Take others for granted out of a failure to recognise how much others actually do for them and accommodate their preferences.

Generally have the suspicion and cynicism around interpersonal gatherings, with a distaste for “everyone gets along with one another” idealism, underneath which is hidden heartbreak and assumption that others don’t value their presence.

Characteristics are from John Luckovich’s book, the Instinctual Drives and the Enneagram.

Development of social

There isn’t a single human that doesn’t need to attend on or develop social at some point in their lives. That includes social dominant people.

Developmental opportunities are more likely than not for dominants and blinds. For social types, there may be an issue that is caused by the passion of your type in one of the self-preservation zones. For social blinds, there may be multiple issues caused by neglect in the social zones.

Actualised social instinct

Russ Hudson describes this as true service in the world. John Lucovich describes it thus: “the immediacy of the awake social instinct brings us into true relationships, where we not only experience nourishment in contributing our values and care, we also feel a larger presence that we are inextricably a part of.”

Instinct and type combinations

A note about contradictions with type

For certain types, the social focus appears to contradict the passion of the Enneagram type. Building on the work of her teacher Claudio Naranjo, Beatrice Chestnut calls this situation ‘countertype’.

At the end of the day, however, the instincts and the passions are a measure of two different things. Also, there can be unexpected aspects or traits with all the 27 instinct/type combinations.

The best application of the theory of countertype is just to bear in mind that it can be difficult for certain self-preservation subtypes to identify their core type from the prevalent descriptions. Otherwise, paying too much attention to any contradictions (or allowing for too many) isn’t helpful.

The subtype pattern

Beatrice Chestnut and Uranio Paes have identified some key interventions to do to that counteract or work with the preoccupations of the social subtypes. They are not exhaustive.

Social subtype deconstructors (from CP Enneagram Academy, Providing Effective Enneagram Solutions Workshop)

Type Eight

Hold yourself back from taking action to protect or support others

Allow yourself to be protected and cared for by others while not doing anything for them

Don’t react when you feel betrayed or insulted by an ally or a friend

Type Nine

Allow yourself to feel sadness and loneliness

Consciously experience being left out or forgotten by others

Focus on yourself as an individual – do things only for yourself

Be inside a group without doing anything

Do more for self and less for others

Verbalise needs in the group

Type One

Be publicly imperfect

Do things the wrong way

Do things according to other people’s right ways

Allow yourself to be taught by others

Type Twos

Make yourself unimportant or anonymous

Show incompetence and fragility

Be out of control

Give over control to others

Confess to manipulation

Type Three

Do things that will make you unpopular in an obvious way

Emphasise your weakness in public

Experience ostracism

Act shy

Be led by others whilst remaining passive

Play a game you will lose at

Do something you will fail at

Type Four

Don’t complain about anything

Be very well and happy

Visualise everything going well

Talk about all the good things happening in your life

Own and emphasis all of your positive qualities

Type Five

Look stupid/arrogant

Ask stupid questions in public

Say ‘I don’t know’ even when you know

Admit to all the things you really don’t know

Speak about superficial things

Talk about personal things to people outside of your special group

Type Six

Be irresponsible and lazy

Trust your instinct and impulses more than your intellect

Confront authority recklessly

Maintain uncertainty about social issues

Break the rules of your chosen authority

Type Seven

Be more selfish

Focus more on yourself than others or groups

Make yourself unavailable for others

Ask for help and for more things for self

Allow yourself to feel pain and discomfort without escaping or making it better

How the passion manifests for social types

To read the three versions of a single type, you can do that on the type-specific pages.

Note that when we move along our connection points, we ‘keep the same instinct’ (and instinctual stacking). So if you hold questions about your type, read the social versions of the connection points as well. As a reminder:

  • If you are a type Eight, that is types Two and Five
  • For type Nines, that is types Three and Six
  • If you are a type One, that is types Seven and Four
  • For type Twos, that is types Four and Eight
  • If you are a type Three, that is types Six and Nine
  • For type Fours, that is type One and Two
  • If you are a type Five, that is types Eight and Seven
  • For type Sixes, that is types Nine and Three
  • If you are a type Seven, that is types Five and One

How the passion shows up up in social types

Type Eight: Looks for the experience of essential power through relationships and having a strong influence.

Type Nine: Seeking to experience essential harmony through their relationships and their contributions to others.

Type One: Looks to essential integrity in relationships, causes and vocation.

Type Two: Seeks to experience essential love in their relationships, vocation and sense of belonging.

Type Three: Looks to experience essential value in their relationships and vocation, particularly with those people with whom they experience belonging.

Type Four: Seeks to experience essential depth in their relationships, creative offerings and social roles.

Type Five: Looks to experience essential insight in and through their relationships, interests and contributions.

Type Six: Wants to experience essential truth in their relationships, contributions and causes.

Type Seven: Wants to experience essential freedom through their relationships and vocation.

Enneagram Virtues

The Virtues

The Virtues represent who we are in higher emotional awareness. They are expressed when we let go of the emotional vices of our personality, which is who we are in lower emotional awareness. The virtues represent our truest, most authentic expressions of ourselves, and are always the complete opposite of the passions, which represent our less authentic, egoic selves.

The path between vice and virtue requires self-observation, self-awareness, and commitment to growth. Lifelong inner work helps us move toward our virtue.

Type One

THE VICE OF ANGER LOOKS LIKE:

· channeled into hostility toward what is imperfect

· directed at whatever is not ideal and trying to fix it

· marked by criticism, judgment, or a sense of tension in the body

THE VIRTUE OF SERENITY LOOKS LIKE:

· extraordinarily calm, relaxed, and filled with a sense of balance within the body

· allowing life to be exactly what it is, and without containment

· it is freedom

Type Two

THE VICE OF PRIDE LOOKS LIKE:

· a need to be important to people

· cycling through self-elevation and devaluation

· viewing the self as the one who can deliver help without needing anything in return (and yet using expectation as a manipulation tactic)

THE VIRTUE OF HUMILITY LOOKS LIKE:

· knowing how important they are without feeling the need to increase or decrease their self-worth

· letting go of the belief that others need them to survive and allowing the self to be exactly as important & worthy as they are

Type Three

THE VICE OF SELF-DECEIT LOOKS LIKE:

· an over-identification with the personality or outer persona

· believing they have to earn love by being worthy

· being the shape-shifting tendency itself

· taking on the ideas/desires of others as their own personal identity.

THE VIRTUE OF VERACITY LOOKS LIKE:

· being nothing but who they really are without regard of what others think

· pure authenticity

· slowing down and acknowledging their own personal feelings – content to just “be”

Type Four

THE VICE OF ENVY LOOKS LIKE:

· a sense of lack, especially having to do with believing they are missing something that others have, therefore others are happier, better, more deserving, etc.

· a sense of inner deficiency

· feeling inferior OR superior (comparison)

THE VIRTUE OF EQUANIMITY LOOKS LIKE:

· balance in how they see the self and others

· become detached from emotions in a healthy way – emotions exist but not in control

· become more grounded in their bodies and recognize that they have all that they need & nothing is missing

Type Five

THE VICE OF AVARICE LOOKS LIKE:

· withholding out of fear of depletion

· holding too tightly to what they already have (resources, energy)

· the heart shuts down for both giving and receiving

· compulsion to hoard (knowledge, energy)

THE VIRTUE OF NON-ATTACHMENT LOOKS LIKE:

· an open-handedness around emotion, energy, and resources, which leads to a sense of generosity

· in sync with the flow of life – no need to hoard time, knowledge, or energy, for there is no impending impoverishmen

Type Six

THE VICE OF FEAR LOOKS LIKE:

· subconscious need to protect the self from everything happening around them

· accelerating thoughts and conclusions as a result – this acceleration can feel like spinning in their minds

· hesitancy to do anything permanent

THE VIRTUE OF COURAGE LOOKS LIKE:

· taking responsibility for permanent action

· not delegating authority or power to others but taking charge and becoming the leader of their own life

· doing things with the heart open & vulnerable

· giving reassurance to oneself

Type Seven

THE VICE OF GLUTTONY LOOKS LIKE:

· indulgence of life

· a desire to sample everything life has to offer without limitation

· the pursuit of MORE – at least a little bit of everything

· jumping around from experience to experience

THE VIRTUE OF SOBRIETY LOOKS LIKE:

· being grounded in the moment; undistracted

· in touch with the self & with the present, rather than running to the next jolt of excitement or interest

· focused on what is in front of them & truly experiencing their lives

· coming home to a deeper part of the self

Type Eight

THE VICE OF LUST LOOKS LIKE:

· a passion for excess

· “anything worth doing is worth overdoing”

· can be about some sort of physical gratification, but it’s mostly about finding a more intense experience and getting more out of life

· often marked by reactivity

THE VIRTUE OF INNOCENCE LOOKS LIKE:

· responding in a fresh way to each moment without judgment, memory, or expectation

· an openness and vulnerability to be impacted by the moment

· often marked by non-reactivity

Type Nine

THE VICE OF SLOTH LOOKS LIKE:

· a “psycho-spiritual” laziness – the state of not being in touch with the core self

· asleep to the true essence – spend energy outside (to keep the outside world out and the inside world in) rather than paying attention to the self

THE VIRTUE OF RIGHT ACTION LOOKS LIKE:

· really refers to “right action”

· a sense of action that is ingrained in the core sense of self – total engagement with the self and a willingness to act on it

· full commitment of the self to doing what is needed

NOTES:

We (@eqenneagram & @ninetypesco) wrote this post based on our conversations, our individual understandings, and observations of the passions. If you want to learn more about this important piece of enneagram theory, we recommend listening to the Enneagram 2.0 podcast episode called “The passion, the virtue, and the path between them” (May 28, 2020). Uranio Paes and Beatrice Chestnut do an incredible job of explaining the passions in detail in that episode!

Enneagram Passions

Enneagram Passions

Claudio Naranjo placed great emphasis on the passions as he evolved Ichazo’s ego-types into the Enneagram personality types as we know them today.

Oscar Ichazo‘s Enneagram of Passions lies at the heart of the Enneagram personality types. Whereas the fixations describe the intellectual part of the ego, the passions are described as the emotional part of the ego that supports the fixation.

The passion appears when the corresponding virtue is lacking. The passions were described by some early teachers of the Enneagram personality types as the Enneagram sins (7 deadly sins + 2).

Ichazo’s original passions

Taken from a book called Transpersonal Psychologies edited by Charles T. Tart, the descriptions of the passions below come from John C. Lilly and Joseph E. Hart who attended the 1970 Arica retreat with Oscar Ichazo.

  1. Anger – Again the ego will keep the person in resentful anger because he is not perfect, nor are the people around him.
  2. Pride – The Ego-Flattery is dependent upon the approval and applause of others, and he works hard to get them. The constant approval and flattery of others produce Ego Pride.
  3. Deceit – One who wants to be known for his accomplishments, positions of influence, and efficiency find it difficult to admit anything that might mar his public image, so he often is forced into deceit to protect his ego.
  4. Envy – The Ego-Melancholy person, hoping for the perfect mate or situation in order to feel really real and fulfilled, tends to think most others have achieved this and, of course, is envious of their seeming happiness and earthiness.
  5. Avarice – Anonymity, and security are important to the Ego-Stinge in order that he can safely watch the world from the peephole of his hiding place. Not only is he avid for the means to maintain his corner, he also is greedy for knowledge of what is going on in life, so that he can feel alive.
  6. Fear – There is a necessary instinctive fear of dangerous situations in order to safeguard our physical existence. We wouldn’t last long without it. But for the Ego-Coward, all of life is threatening. Enemies surround him, so he must always be on the alert and find someone stronger to protect him. Though such constant fear is painful, it is familiar and safe. To live without it would leave one too vulnerable to an unexpected attack.
  7. Gluttony – If a little of something is pleasant, then an unlimited amount should bring unheard-of pleasures, so the Ego Plan feels. This projection of present enjoyment into future ecstasy through more and more of the same is a recurring emotional reaction to the good, though each time it ends in uncomfortable satiation and physical distress.
  8. Excess – The person seeking justice and truth very often overdoes his vengeance in his great moral indignation at injustice. Just as he can punish too severely one who he thinks has wronged him, he can be even more punishing to himself when he feels he has failed in justice. Often he will do physical damage to himself.
  9. Laziness – For the ego-indolent, the ego will persuade him to be very lazy in searching for his essence, though he may be hyperactive in finding ways to avoid working toward his essence.

The passions and the personality types

In relation to the Enneagram personality types, the passions can be better understood as representing underlying energy in support of the personality type. The labels used for the passions can’t simply be understood through the common dictionary definition however and need a reinterpretation that aligns with the personality types.

  1. Anger – energy that corrects and improves what’s unacceptable. It’s primarily directed at myself and secondarily at the world around me.
  2. Pride – an inflated feeling of self-importance in the lives of others. Others need me because I uniquely understand and can meet their needs and desires.
  3. Deceit – involves taking on a persona that appeals to an intended audience. I have difficulty knowing who I am separate from the image I’m presenting.
  4. Envy – a one-sided comparison between the positives of others and the negatives of oneself. What’s lacking in me that I don’t have what they have?
  5. Avarice – a hoarding of resources and minimizing of needs in order to avoid intrusions. I’m more comfortable observing the world from a distance.
  6. Fear – arises from a sense of uncertainty and doubt within. I scan others and the world around me to locate dangers and find something to reassure me.
  7. Gluttony – of the mind is the pull felt toward interesting possibilities. Why get mired in boredom or discomfort when pleasurable alternatives are available?
  8. Excess – energy needs to be released through activity and expression. It feels natural for me but I may have to sit on it when others find it too much.
  9. Laziness – a difficulty with defining and accomplishing goals. I tend to go along with what others are doing and lose myself in routine and comfort.
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